Yes you read that right. On the heels of his controversial proposal to Ban the Sale of Big Sizes of Sugary Drinks from all NYC restaurants, cinemas, and street vendors, hizzoner was all too quick to realize that his efforts to save New Yorkers from themselves and their bad decisions need not must not stop there.
Tomorrow Mayor Mike is expected to unveil his somewhat drastic proposal to ban any and all Republicans from running for any office in NYC- be it for a state, local, or Federal seat. From his City Hall press conference yesterday, Bloomberg was quoted:
"After coming to the stark realization that all of the worst horrors that have befallen our nation the past twenty to thirty years can be attributed almost solely to the irresponsible governmental stewardship and policy of nearly all elected Republicans, I have decided that the only responsible action I can take as a policy maker is to simply ban that execrable party outright from our midst. Oh and needless to say I will take this moment to officially announce my switch of party affiliation to the Democratic Party."
The mayor continued apace before the shocked assemblage of the press:
"Obesity is one thing, and by keeping ignorant people from getting fat through the copious consumption of these so called "super-sized" soft drinks by simply denying them the access to those fattening beverages- I realized that denying such stupid people access to other such harmful things was a worthy goal that will benefit all of society. And really, let's cut to the chase: is there anything more harmful to society nowadays THAN the Republican Party? I rest my case."
As he was leaving the room, the Mayor added:
"See you all here tomorrow, and feel free to grab a plate of the melon and honeydew on your way out."