I'm not at a place where I'm ready to find out what comes after "trillion."
Humans are interesting creatures. No other animal goes through millions of years of evolution to be this fucking stupid.
The person I want to be is always overruled by the person I actually am.
No matter how bad you think your day is going remember that there are people out there with face tattoos.
When asked the secret to his longevity, late actor Ernest Borgnine credited masturbation. We could all learn a lot from you, sir. RIP.
So Drake vs Chris Brown is now considered a "rap beef"? Eazy-E must be spinning in the shoebox they buried him in.
All of Tom Cruises marriages ended when his wives turned 33. Nah, he wouldn't possibly believe in anything as nutty as numerology?
So how many guys are outside movie theaters waiting for the desperate, dangerously turned-on women to leave after watching Magic Mike?
Batman could beat Superman in a game of monopoly.