I spend an inordinate amount of time in the comment sections of blogs and newspaper sites.
No, I am not a masochist. Merely a self-aggrandizing blowhard always on the lookout for a spot to highlight his videos. Like you didn't know that already.
But I digress.
The comment sections are particularly ugly neighborhoods, full of gang wars and isolated attacks. If you think this weekend at Da Kos was unlovely, read below the thirty in a Washington Post column. I personally can't believe Americans use the word "moron" that much in their conversations, but I don't socialize much.
One theme that "conservative" commenters reach for with predictable regularity is "envy."
"Why do you liberals envy people who've achieved wealth and success?"
Short answer: this liberal doesn't (nor, for the record, do I hate America nor beat my wife). Oh, I'll confess there are a few things I'd like to materially improve in my own life, but the trappings of wealth like red Ferraris and floating islands have always stirred up more laughter than envy. Like the gold grills on the MCs I used to record, most of what the wealthy flaunt seem to me childish and pointless.
Certainly, I'd like some of the freedom of movement the wealthy enjoy, but I doubt I'd do all that much with it. I live in one of the coolest places in the world, a joint billions say, "I so want to go there." I suppose I'd spend a bit more time in the mountains if I could.
Power? The ability to push people around? Boring. You just have to pay attention to them, and I'm not that interested.
Freedom from consequences? Well, that one's tempting sometimes. Some of my comeuppances have been as harsh as they come, and hurt sore to this day. But they've carved channels in me where now flow empathy and something like wisdom. All told, I'll take my karma, thanks.
Freedom from fear? Yeah, I guess I'd envy that, if I thought the wealthy enjoyed it. But they strike me as more fearful than the common lot. They live behind bars. They hire private soldiers. Their hangouts are restricted to people like themselves. They're afraid of robbers and kidnappers and even guys on the street hustling change.
Saddest of all, they are deathly afraid of falling behind, of their wealthy neighbors getting more toys or square footage. If anyone envies the wealthy, seems to me it's the wealthy.
Which makes me wonder why "conservative" commenters would think I'd envy such people, why "envious" is a pejorative for them (not that I've seen them use the words "envious" or "pejorative").
Is it projection? Do they spend their days reading Architectural Digest and watching MTV Cribs and pasting their heads on the pictures? Does it somehow negate the legitimacy of arguments against wage inequality in their minds? Is it just a way to say, "I found a word so I don't have to listen to you?"
I'll admit that I envy some advantages I see others enjoy. Everyone does. But does that mean nothing I say is serious? How does "you're just jealous" constitute an argument?
I'd envy them their certainty, if it didn't come with the pity of thoughtful people.