KosAbility is a community diary series posted at 5 PM ET every Sunday and Wednesday by volunteer diarists. This is a gathering place for people who are living with disabilities, who love someone with a disability, or who want to know more about the issues surrounding this topic. There are two parts to each diary. First, a volunteer diarist will offer their specific knowledge and insight about a topic they know intimately. Then, readers are invited to comment on what they've read and/or ask general questions about disabilities, share something they've learned, tell bad jokes, post photos, or rage about the unfairness of their situation. Our only rule is to be kind; trolls will be spayed or neutered.
We disabled people (or parents of people with disabilities, or, in my case, both) tend to know a lot about our disability. We tend to know what we can and can't do, how we best do it, what help is useful, and so on.
So WHY DON'T PEOPLE LISTEN when we tell them?
When my son was first going to the dentist, why didn't the dentist (a respected pediatric dentist who was much liked by many parents) not listen when we told him that G would freak out if the chair moved, and that it would be better to take him out of the chair, move the chair, and put him back in? "Oh, he'll be fine". No. He won't. And wasn't.
When he had to be treated for lice, why didn't the woman doing the extensive combing not listen to us when we told her not to say things like "it'll just be a little while" when it wouldn't?
When I tell people giving me directions that I will NOT be able to follow landmarks very well, why don't they listen?
and so on.
And similar for many others. When person in a wheelchair says his ears are perfectly fine, why do people keep yelling?