It's not like the British are going to be angry. You know the British are not the type of people who take sport very seriously. Oh, here they are celebrating their favorite soccer team's victory. (scenes of rioting)
So, ah, so we're cool, right?
7/27/2012:
RICHARD LUI: Today's headlines in London really raked Romney over the coals.
JIM ACOSTA: Dubbed the "party-pooper" in the Daily Mail, "nowhere man" in the Times of London.
WILLIE GEIST: Also, "Romney's Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day in London".
PETER ALEXANDER: This is the headline in The Sun, the tabloid. It reads "Mitt the Twit".
Here's one from The London Asswipe. "American Idiot".
The Daily Bollocks says, "Book of Moron", ah.
The Chimney Sweep Times Picayune says, "Wif' Friends Like 'Ese, 'Oo Needs Enemas?"
I'm not even sure that makes sense. And of course, from London's famed What All This Then Gazette:
Seriously, sometimes we can be so arrogant, just not understanding how we might appear to a global audience.
Speaking of which, before the Games officially opened, our own Mitt Romney headed to London for his first overseas trip as the presumptive Republican nominee. Romney's Mr. Olympics, having saved the Salt Lake City Games in 2002, and England is our closest ally. What could possibly go wrong?
7/26/2012:
BRIAN WILLIAMS: In the short time you've been here in London, do they look ready to your experienced eye?
MITT ROMNEY: You know, it's hard to know just how well it will turn out. There are a few things that were disconcerting.
(Jon signals for him to shut up and zip it)
What are you doing? This is no time to display your sophisticated knowledge of the inner workings of Olympic preparation. You're a guest at a dinner party that already started! Slam dunk! Just nod your fucking head and say the ribaki (sp?) is delicious! That's all you gotta do!
It's so easy! Let me show you. Williams, loop another one up there for me.
BRIAN WILLIAMS (7/26/2012): In the short time you've been here in London, do they look ready to your experienced eye?
"Yes."
OK, that's it! Done! (audience appaluse) Yes!
It's not like... I'm acting like these pages have anything to do with what I'm saying, they don't. I'm playing Hangman.
It's not like the British are going to be angry. You know the British are not the type of people who take sport very seriously. Oh, here they are celebrating their favorite soccer team's victory. (scenes of rioting)
So, ah, so we're cool, right?
7/27/2012:
RICHARD LUI: Today's headlines in London really raked Romney over the coals.
JIM ACOSTA: Dubbed the "party-pooper" in the Daily Mail, "nowhere man" in the Times of London.
WILLIE GEIST: Also, "Romney's Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day in London".
PETER ALEXANDER: This is the headline in The Sun, the tabloid. It reads "Mitt the Twit".
Here's one from The London Asswipe. "American Idiot".
The Daily Bollocks says, "Book of Moron", ah.
The Chimney Sweep Times Picayune says, "Wif' Friends Like 'Ese, 'Oo Needs Enemas?"
I'm not even sure that makes sense. And of course, from London's famed What All This Then Gazette:
Whoa, all right. Little on the nose. For God's sakes, Romney, how do you screw this up? How do you screw this up? How do you screw up a trip... to England? All you gotta do when you go there, just look to your right when crossing the street and keep your naked balls out of people's tea. That's all you gotta do! It's not like you're in Papua New Guinea where they gotta explain to you, "Look, when you shake that guy's hand, it means you want to fuck his wife, like don't do that."
You actually got Britain's conservative Prime Minister to insult your Olympic experience back.
DAVID CAMERON (7/26/2012): We are holding our Olympic Games in one of the busiest most active bustling cities anywhere in the world. And of course it's easier if you hold the Olympic Games in the middle of nowhere.
(wild audience cheering)
No, no. No you did not! The middle of... no, no, you know what? When it comes to furreners attacking the States, there is no Utah. There is only... We-tah. Don't worry, Romney, I got Utah's back. Put me on the Utah cam!
UTAH CAM: Wazzup, Britain? Wazzup, Britain? Sorry I didn't get back to insulting you earlier, we were too busy taking salt out of our huge lake so that our food doesn't taste like shit.
Actually, that was kind of harsh. You know what, David Cameron? I got your back too. Britain cam! I'm not... wait. (puts on glasses) Britain cam!
BRITAIN CAM: Hey Utah! I'm not saying you're boring, Utah, but the only reason you exist is to keep Nevada from giving Colorado herpes.
UTAH CAM: What? What?? I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of your empire crumbling!
BRITAIN CAM: I know why you don't have coffee. This is the state you don't want to be awake in!
UTAH CAM: You will spend an eternity in Hell worshiping a false God!
BRITAIN CAM: Well that just got weird. Leviosa Lemontoasta!
We'll be right back.
of the London Olympics.
of Chick-Fil-A from groups opposed to the CEO's anti-gay views.
with the U.S. dressage coach for the Olympics.
at a Tony Robbins confidence-building seminar.