God: Welcome to Heaven my son. Jesus: Wanna tell me what the fuck that shit was about?
Whenever someone quotes the Bible, I quote The Big Lebowski.
Whenever an Atheist argues with a religious person, you can usually hear an agnostic yelling "DRAAAMMMAAA" in the background.
You weren’t born with a religion, or hate, or a feeling of superiority; somebody taught you them and only you can unlearn them.
Of all the possible dinosaurs, how come the asteroid missed only Barney?
Breaking: Sesame Street casting new Latino character. Related: Oscar the Grouch hires Minutemen to build and secure wall around his can.
The difference between a rich Republican and a poor Republican is the rich one likes to manipulate and the poor one likes to be manipulated.
If more people fucked scientists, everyone would wanna study science. Go fuck a scientist for the sake of humanity.
We say "Mother" Nature like she's actually watching out for us.