Look, please disregard everything that I have said before but consider only what I say today.
Please ignore my past business records; but take my word for it that they were great, and by the way I will not answer any questions on this subject.
Olympics? My memory is becoming hazy, government money? Doesn't ring a bell. Yes, they were triumphant.
My term as Governor was an unmitigated success, no matter what the historical record shows. No, I will not respond if you call me "Fifi" again.
I paid many, many taxes, no you cannot see my tax returns; believe me.
Goshdarnit, are you deaf? [there must be a fee for that]. I told you that I will not answer questions on the past
I'm telling you, all you have to believe in is what I say today; whichever today that happens to be.
My VP choice, disregard everything he has said before, and if it all goes pear shaped he wasn't my choice at all.
Look at my hair, look at my teeth, are they not good enough to appear on a coin?
Vote for me, since I am whomever I want you to believe I am.
Today my Name is Mitt Romney. Tomorrow? I will blame Paul Ryan.