MITT ROMNEY (8/15/2012): Mr. President, take your campaign of division and anger and hate back to Chicago, and let us get about rebuilding and reuniting America.
OK, two things. First, as a general rule, I find it helps not to frame a plea for national unity by insulting a major city within that nation. "I'm saying, Mr. President, that we must all come together no matter what those sacks of human feces from the metropolitan anus that is Chicago would have us do. They can suck my deep dish dick, no disrespect. How ya doin'?"
And second, are the Republicans really in the moral high ground position on the issue of divisive anger and hate, vis-à-vis their opponent? Let's face facts. Chicago doesn't even appear to be the only area of America not invited to the Republican unity party.
SEAN HANNITY: ... liberal haven that is known as New York State ...
KARL ROVE: ... Upper East Side ...
JANINE TURNER: ... liberal Madison Avenue ...
MICHAEL GRAHAM: ... Massachusetts ...
GUEST ON FOX NEWS: ... East coast ...
ERIC BOLLING: ... Hollywood ...
MELISSA FRANCIS: ... California ...
STUART VARNEY: ... Chicago ...
SEAN HANNITY: ... Martha's Vineyard ...
GRETCHEN CARLSON: ... Berkeley, which is a well-known liberal institution.
BILL O'REILLY: It's a Communist place.
(shocked audience laughter)
"It's a Communist place. Fidel Castro's the Dean of the school, they got a gulag. I understand their cafeteria has a (in air quotes) 'meal plan'."
So we know what areas of America... are not welcome in America. What Americans are not worthy of inclusion in this unified Romerica?
NEWT GINGRICH: ... union and trial lawyer liberal ...
DAVID ASMAN: ... ivory tower professors ...
GUEST ON FOX BUSINESS: ... these union thugs ...
NEAL BOORTZ: ... the moocher class ...
BRENT BOZELL: ... professionally unemployed people ...
STUART VARNEY: ... poor people ...
MICHELLE MALKIN: ... radical environmentalists ...
WOMAN ON FOX NEWS: ... teachers, just like Barack Obama, are against competition.
"These (in air quotes) 'teachers' believe in the redistribution of information! It's Communism!"
Wow, I had no idea how hateful and divisive these groups you are describing are. If we could only get rid of teachers, lawyer, unions, and poor people, we could unite the remaining less-than-half of this country.
Now obviously, since we're not supposed to go to college and be around these teachers, where can I learn more about the left's divisive and angry rhetoric?
BILL O'REILLY: [Michelle Malkin's] Unhinged: Exposing Liberals Gone Wild
GLENN BECK: [Andrew C. McCarthy's The Grand Jihad:] How Islam and the Left Sabotage America
SEAN HANNITY: [John Gibson's] How the Left Swiftboated America
DON IMUS: [S.E. Cupp's Losing Our Religion:] The Liberal Media's Attack on Christianity
STEVE DOOCY: [Ann Coulter's] Demonic: How the Liberal Mob Is Endangering America
SEAN HANNITY: [Larry Schweikart's] 48 Liberal Lies About American History
FOX NEWS: [Jonah Goldberg's] Liberal Fascism
SEAN HANNITY: [Terence P. Jeffrey's] Control Freaks
BILL O'REILLY: [Andrea Peyser's] Celebutards: The Hollywood Hacks, Limousine Liberals and Pandering Politicians Who Are Destroying America
And I imagine I can find all these books at my local Barnes & Awful?
Or perhaps you'd prefer shopping at Totally Closed Borders.
(wild audience cheering and applause)
Um, are the Republicans really that blind? This is the truth. You know, the rhetoric on all sides can be hateful sometimes, but are the Republicans really that blind to the depth of their own vitriol? You won't believe how blind. Blinder than a man Joe Biden would publicly challenge to a staring contest.
SARAH PALIN (8/14/2012): Name one prominent Republican who even comes close to what, like the Alan Graysons, the Harry Reids, the Joe Bidens come up with and spew to the American public. I can't think of one prominent Republican, who talks the way that they talk.
(shocked audience laughter)
Let me ask you a question. Does the lake behind you have reflective properties? (audience cheering) If so, you may find the answer to your riddle. And if not....
SARAH PALIN (10/4/2008): Our opponent is someone who sees America as imperfect enough to pal around with terrorists.
SARAH PALIN (5/11/2011): C'mon, Barack Obama, who are ya pallin' around with now?
SARAH PALIN (8/1/2011): Jan Brewer has the cojones that our President does not have.
SARAH PALIN (6/29/2012): Nancy Pelosi is a dingbat.
SARAH PALIN (11/23/2010): ... a left-wing liberal ...
SARAH PALIN (8/14/2012): ... socialist ...
SARAH PALIN (9/15/2008): ... Washington elite ...
SARAH PALIN (3/17/2010): ... they're like a bunch of dead fish ...
SARAH PALIN (4/12/2012): ... their radical left agenda ...
SARAH PALIN (6/15/2012): ... all that pot, a little smokin' and that cocaine snortin' and what he ate — Fido.
(more shocked audience laughter)
So you don't know of any prominent Republicans who spew divisive vitriol? There can only be two explanations for that. One, not even Sarah Palin believes she is a prominent Republican anymore. Or two, Sarah Palin can no longer hear herself speak. You can read about it in my new book, The Luckiest Woman in America.
Our top story tonight, you know Paul Ryan, recently tapped by Mitt Romney... not... to be his running mate, Ryan's been getting an awful lot of media attention. Well, Joe Biden is not going to sit back and let that tenderfoot soak up all his ink.
JOE BIDEN (8/14/2012): Romney wants to let the — he said in the first hundred days — he's gonna let the big banks once again write their own rules. Unchain Wall Street! (audience at event boos) They gonna put y'all back in chains!
(shocked audience reaction as Jon facepalms)
"What? I'm just sayin'. You're going to be slaves again, is what I'm saying. Y'all. I said y'all. That means you, the black people, that you're gonna be slaves. What? Hey champ, how ya doin'?"
OK, that's bad. But in his defense, for a guy who has in the past exhorted a man in a wheelchair to stand up for what he believes in, referred to someone's still-living parent as their late beloved parent, and once authorized a $6 billion dollar federal expenditure for a dinosaur egg that turned out to be a bowling ball.
Now if you believe, in the heat of this campaign season, that this clearly inappropriate statement from the Vice President is going to cause a minor stir, you have not been paying attention to this campaign season. Queue up Republican DefCon Apeshit.
REINCE PRIEBUS (8/14/2012): This operation is one of the most hateful divisive operations that we've ever seen in this country.
STUART VARNEY (8/15/2012): ... and brought this campaign to a low that we've not seen in years.
SEAN HANNITY (8/14/2012): Where is the decency? I'm a little shocked.
MITT ROMNEY (8/15/2012): Mr. President, take your campaign of division and anger and hate back to Chicago, and let us get about rebuilding and reuniting America.
OK, two things. First, as a general rule, I find it helps not to frame a plea for national unity by insulting a major city within that nation. "I'm saying, Mr. President, that we must all come together no matter what those sacks of human feces from the metropolitan anus that is Chicago would have us do. They can suck my deep dish dick, no disrespect. How ya doin'?"
And second, are the Republicans really in the moral high ground position on the issue of divisive anger and hate, vis-à-vis their opponent? Let's face facts. Chicago doesn't even appear to be the only area of America not invited to the Republican unity party.
SEAN HANNITY: ... liberal haven that is known as New York State ...
KARL ROVE: ... Upper East Side ...
JANINE TURNER: ... liberal Madison Avenue ...
MICHAEL GRAHAM: ... Massachusetts ...
GUEST ON FOX NEWS: ... East coast ...
ERIC BOLLING: ... Hollywood ...
MELISSA FRANCIS: ... California ...
STUART VARNEY: ... Chicago ...
SEAN HANNITY: ... Martha's Vineyard ...
GRETCHEN CARLSON: ... Berkeley, which is a well-known liberal institution.
BILL O'REILLY: It's a Communist place.
(shocked audience laughter)
"It's a Communist place. Fidel Castro's the Dean of the school, they got a gulag. I understand their cafeteria has a (in air quotes) 'meal plan'."
So we know what areas of America... are not welcome in America. What Americans are not worthy of inclusion in this unified Romerica?
NEWT GINGRICH: ... union and trial lawyer liberal ...
DAVID ASMAN: ... ivory tower professors ...
GUEST ON FOX BUSINESS: ... these union thugs ...
NEAL BOORTZ: ... the moocher class ...
BRENT BOZELL: ... professionally unemployed people ...
STUART VARNEY: ... poor people ...
MICHELLE MALKIN: ... radical environmentalists ...
WOMAN ON FOX NEWS: ... teachers, just like Barack Obama, are against competition.
"These (in air quotes) 'teachers' believe in the redistribution of information! It's Communism!"
Wow, I had no idea how hateful and divisive these groups you are describing are. If we could only get rid of teachers, lawyer, unions, and poor people, we could unite the remaining less-than-half of this country.
Now obviously, since we're not supposed to go to college and be around these teachers, where can I learn more about the left's divisive and angry rhetoric?
BILL O'REILLY: [Michelle Malkin's] Unhinged: Exposing Liberals Gone Wild
GLENN BECK: [Andrew C. McCarthy's The Grand Jihad:] How Islam and the Left Sabotage America
SEAN HANNITY: [John Gibson's] How the Left Swiftboated America
DON IMUS: [S.E. Cupp's Losing Our Religion:] The Liberal Media's Attack on Christianity
STEVE DOOCY: [Ann Coulter's] Demonic: How the Liberal Mob Is Endangering America
SEAN HANNITY: [Larry Schweikart's] 48 Liberal Lies About American History
FOX NEWS: [Jonah Goldberg's] Liberal Fascism
SEAN HANNITY: [Terence P. Jeffrey's] Control Freaks
BILL O'REILLY: [Andrea Peyser's] Celebutards: The Hollywood Hacks, Limousine Liberals and Pandering Politicians Who Are Destroying America
And I imagine I can find all these books at my local Barnes & Awful?
Or perhaps you'd prefer shopping at Totally Closed Borders.
(wild audience cheering and applause)
Um, are the Republicans really that blind? This is the truth. You know, the rhetoric on all sides can be hateful sometimes, but are the Republicans really that blind to the depth of their own vitriol? You won't believe how blind. Blinder than a man Joe Biden would publicly challenge to a staring contest.
SARAH PALIN (8/14/2012): Name one prominent Republican who even comes close to what, like the Alan Graysons, the Harry Reids, the Joe Bidens come up with and spew to the American public. I can't think of one prominent Republican, who talks the way that they talk.
(shocked audience laughter)
Let me ask you a question. Does the lake behind you have reflective properties? (audience cheering) If so, you may find the answer to your riddle. And if not....
SARAH PALIN (10/4/2008): Our opponent is someone who sees America as imperfect enough to pal around with terrorists.
SARAH PALIN (5/11/2011): C'mon, Barack Obama, who are ya pallin' around with now?
SARAH PALIN (8/1/2011): Jan Brewer has the cojones that our President does not have.
SARAH PALIN (6/29/2012): Nancy Pelosi is a dingbat.
SARAH PALIN (11/23/2010): ... a left-wing liberal ...
SARAH PALIN (8/14/2012): ... socialist ...
SARAH PALIN (9/15/2008): ... Washington elite ...
SARAH PALIN (3/17/2010): ... they're like a bunch of dead fish ...
SARAH PALIN (4/12/2012): ... their radical left agenda ...
SARAH PALIN (6/15/2012): ... all that pot, a little smokin' and that cocaine snortin' and what he ate — Fido.
(more shocked audience laughter)
So you don't know of any prominent Republicans who spew divisive vitriol? There can only be two explanations for that. One, not even Sarah Palin believes she is a prominent Republican anymore. Or two, Sarah Palin can no longer hear herself speak. You can read about it in my new book, The Luckiest Woman in America.
We'll be right back.
people that fit the DNC's criteria for regular everyday Americans they want to showcase at the convention.
. He showcased his
.