Four years ago today, I married the love of my life.
For that brief period in the summer and fall of 2008 we were one of roughly 18,000 couples who were deemed equal enough under the eyes of the law to enter into a recognized marriage in the State of California. Of course, that all came to a crashing halt when the well-funded and hateful Proposition 8 passed at the ballot box. That November loving couples in our state were once again relegated to second class citizens not worthy of marriage and all the benefits marriage entails.
That August morning was sunny and picture perfect. There wasn't a cloud in the sky and the gentle breeze coming off the bay kept the temperature just right.
It was a small affair. Brian's parents and sister flew in from Houston and our amazing circle of beautiful friends were all there to bear witness. The wedding was officiated by our dear friend Dave who was so busy performing weddings that he had to shelve his own wedding ceremony and settle for a quick and perfunctory event at our local city hall the day before Prop 8 passed.
A lot has happened during these four years. Many of the organizations that fought so hard and spent so much money to stop our unions have now been officially designated hate groups by the SPLC. Gay people can now serve openly and proudly in our military. Public opinion has slipped over that 50% mark in favor of giving us the equality that should never have been theirs to give in the first place. And to top it all off, for the first time in our nation's history we have a President who has unequivocally voiced his support for marriage equality.
During these four years California has yet to fall into the sea. None of the neighborhood children have keeled over in front of our house from the gay vibe emanating from within. We've known no married couples who have divorced as a result of our marriage or divorced at all for that matter. As a matter of fact, we've been to several wedding since Prop 8 passed. They all went without a hitch.
The practical side of marriage has also made itself known to us during these four years. Every year since, we've both received thousands of dollars in tax returns that we were never entitled to receive before we signed that legal document. This money didn't come from the State of California but rather from the Federal Government. Even though they don't recognize our marriage they recognize that we own property jointly. Brian and I no longer have to be ambiguous about what to call each other. He is my husband and I am his. Our co-workers are all now fully accustomed to that terminology, no longer having to stumble through references to my "partner" or "friend." It has clarified our relationship for everyone to see.
So here we are, four years later facing another election year with so much at stake. I've heard many people express their opinion that this election doesn't matter. That the Obama administration is just as bad as any Republican administration. That there is little difference between the two parties. I completely reject that opinion. While the Democratic party recently added marriage equality as a plank in the party platform, the Republican party has been busy strengthening the exclusionary language in theirs. Granted, there are many things that frustrate me about our party, but their dedication to civil rights and equality is not one of them.
All of the gains we have made in these four years stand to slip away under a Romney-Ryan administration. We intend to fight like hell to see that doesn't happen. But tonight we will be setting all of that aside to celebrate what we have together. It won't be an evening about politics but rather an evening about love.