Yes, you read that right. We fucked up. Royally.
And now it is time for us to collectively apologize to Mr. Romney, Mr. Ryan, and others on the Right.
More about why below the orange scrambled egg.
For years, even more than a decade, our elected representatives and we had worked hard to perfect the "Apology," typically combined with caving in on a formerly defensible position.
Yesterday, we saw something different. We saw a Democratic party standing up to the Reicht. We even had an eloquent speaker demand that Democrats grow a spine, although I suspect that he had other body parts in mind.
This simply cannot be. Not only have we hurt the tender feelings of the GOP, Mitt Romney, and the SuperPacs, who had grown so accustomed to taking our caving and apologies for granted, not only have we shocked the GOP political advisors and strategists by standing up to them, but we have broken the rules that only they can talk without feeling immediate regret for what was said. Even worse, we compounded this mortal sin by applying something the GOP rarely recognizes and almost never uses, ie, Facts and Truth.
How dare we? What ever became of the spineless wonders, afraid of standing up to Neocons, tea Buggerers, and christian conservatives?
Sigh, the party may never be the same.
So, as a sign of good faith, I will be the first to offer my apologies. Feel free to join in.
1. I apologize that I called Ann Romney's oratorical presentation a vapid, hollow, predictable oleo of pap and dead ideas. I apologize that I accurately viewed that as a flash in the pan, a minor spark, guaranteed to be forgotten by the body politick.
2. I apologize that I predict that Ann will NOT be making any more major appearances, not after having her magic undie-covered ass handed to her by a wonderful, vibrant, alive and expressive speaker, Michelle Obama.
3. I apologize for stating that Paul Ryan has the intellectual weight of a tsetse fly, and the honesty of a Death Row drug king pin.
4. I apologize for saying that the RNC (ReptiliaN Curettage) ran a convention so badly, so awkwardly, that it will go down in political history of how NOT to run a modern campaign. Fuck any bounce, R. Money is lucky that his numbers weren't trashed because of this epic flop. The only good news for R. is that not many people watched.
5. I apologize for calling Haley Barbour a rude, obnoxious, obese, asshole, especially when those terms seem tailor-made for him.
6. I apologize that Paul Ryan is so deceitful and misleading that WC Fields used his time machine in order to concoct one of his famous adages. No, not the complaint, "Which rascal stole the cork from my lunch?" but, "I never tell a lie. That way I don't have to remember what I said."
7. I apologize that morons like Mourning Jo, Sir Harold of Ford, and Earl Thomas of Brokaw still push their lame non stories of "everyone does it," equating the out and out lies of the GOP with the factually correct statements of Team Obama.
8. I apologize that our lineup of speakers was so powerful, so convincing, and so moving. It was really unfair of us to try to win this election. It won't happen again. Promise.
9. I apologize that the lineup of speakers from the GOP was overwhelmed by an empty chair.
Lastly,
10. I apologize for stating that R. Money is the worst possible candidate the GOPers would have ever selected. And that many within the GOP know it.