If Allen West did not exist, we would be forced to invent him.
WEST: We are now $16 trillion in debt. We have 47 million Americans on food stamps. We have close to 9.5 million more Americans in three-and-a-half years on the poverty rolls. That’s not turning the corner. But yet, they want to bring out an old Soviet Union, Marxist-Socialist theme for their campaign called “Forward”. I have to ask you one simple question. Where is the Soviet Union today?
Think Progress
Actual video of this stupidity may be found below the Orange Squiggle of Power, along with some snark.
In order to avoid the wrath of Rep. West, who has been known to fire guns near people's heads when upset, the following changes are being instituted.
- The NFL is renaming "Forward Pass" to "Throw".
- The NFL is renaming "Forward Progress" to "As far as he got".
- Outlook, Hotmail, gmail, and Yahoo! mail are renaming "Forward" to "Pass around". "Share" was considered but Rep. West informed them that that is also a Commie Pinko Soviet word.
- The US military is renaming "Forward Observer" to "Sneaky guy".
- The US military is renaming "Forward Operating Base" to "Fort".
- Computer science is renaming "Forward Backward" algorithms to "Backward Backward".
- Verizon, AT&T, Sprint, and T-Mobile are renaming "Forward call" to "ring a second phone". Credo is renaming "Forward call" to "Forward call and Allen West can kiss our bytes".
- C++ is renaming "Forward Declaration" to "Maze of twisty little references, all different"
- Numerical Analysis is renaming "Forward Difference" to "not-backwards difference"
- Western Union will no longer "Forward" funds, but will instead "delantero" funds
Many other changes of this sort are necessary to save America from the menace that is Barack Obama.
It's a good thing Allen West was both a military officer and a Congressman, otherwise people might think he was profoundly stupid.