Dear Mr. Romney,
Allow me to say a few words if you would give me a moment.
I know you are my better, and having just learned from you that as one of the 47% who voted for President Obama, I am a victim and expect food and health care and stuff I will be careful not to whine too much because this is an ode to you, the one with the right stuff.
I should have been born to millionaire parents. If I had only known when I was gestating that if I had chosen better parents I could be a rugged individualist like you, who had Harvard handed to him, who could defer miliatary drafts and have a nice large "start up" money account.
I admit my Grandmother did help me with the down payment for my first car, but the $500 was not like the millions you were given. Stupid me, I should have asked for a million or two from my widowed Grandmother.
Damn, it must be hard being you, having to make those tough choices about which savings account to use, and how to increase your earnings while starting a business from "scratch".
It must be very hard to know that your health care is fully covered so any risk you took or take will probably have no effect on your long term plans.
I am such a victim, and dependant, no doubt.
My father left when I was two, leaving my mother with four children me being the youngest. Should have straightened out my father even at age two.
I delivered papers at 11 years old, bussed tables at 14 years old, took a job in manufacturing at 16 years old, worked full time and graduated from high school one year early. Three words for that: victim, victim, victim.
I also had my own apartment at age 16, while working and going to high school. I then worked in manufacturing for 18 years and earned my BS degree from a state college graduating Summa Cum Laude, and have bought three homes in my life.
I worked hard and climbed the ladder to become a manager of a 55 acre facility with a million dollar budget. Silly me, I should be doing better I know. If only I had invented the personal computer, or became an investment banker on Wall Street.
As a victim, I crazliy thought if I worked hard, played by the rules and got an education I would have health care and keep my savings. Hah, silly me. I also know now that if I get stabbed in the back, in the dark, in an alley, by a vulture capitalist I should have seen it coming and only have to employ a lawyer to manage my affairs.
I had private health care which promptly kicked me off their system after learning that I have arthritis even though I made no claim and paid every premium on time every time for years.
Oh, if I had only known that if I did not work physical labor all those years and played tennis like a maniac that I was actually hurting myself by working hard and being active, that I would need to see a doctor once, to ask why my back had suddenly started hurting.
I wish I had your wisom Mr. Romney to choose the lucky sperm club, so that I would not have to be a victim and work hard, get an modest education and maintain a somewhat middle class existence.
If I had only known to be born with millions so that food, car insurance, pet care, health care, gasoline, mortgage payments and clothing would not take up most of my paycheck leaving me with a few dollars to whisk into a 401K that was stolen by Wall Street.
I should have known Wall Street would bribe investment counselers to recommend junk stocks such as Putnam Voyeger and MCI wiping out my first 401k. Arthur Anderson was a great company! True American values. Exxon Mobile too!
You Mr. Romney are clearly my better and doggone it, if I had just chosen your parents instead of mine, I would not have to be a victim of silly stuff such as hard work, exercise and part-time college until finally getting a degree at age 40.
You sir are clearly my better and I get it now, thanks to you.
Must go now, because I have to ask the government for more food and plot how to take what you have without working, since I have done nothing but depend on people and the government.
Most sincerely your admirer and inferior,
Mr. Mustard