From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
More Continuous Loops
What are they thinking to themselves?
Paul Ryan: "Only 41 days 'til I can put my Ayn Rand swimsuit poster back up... Only 41 days 'til I can put my Ayn Rand swimsuit poster back up…"
Mitt Romney: "Oh well, at least money likes me… Oh well, at least money likes me…"
"Freezin' mah butt off...
Freezin' mah butt off..."
Ann Coulter: "If we don’t run Chris Christie Mitt Romney will be the nominee and we'll lose…If we don’t run Chris Christie Mitt Romney will be the nominee and we'll lose…"
Replacement football ref during game: "Ha ha! My belly button's full of lint...Ha ha! My belly button's full of lint…"
Rep. Joe Walsh (R-IL): "Memo to self: update resume...Memo to self: update resume..."
Paul Krugman: "[Sigh]…Right again…[Sigh]…Right again…"
Right-wing pundit: "2012? Awful...2012? Awful…"
Left-wing pundit: "2012? Awesome!...2012? Awesome!…"
Sarah Palin: "Now I can see obscurity from my house!…Now I can see obscurity from my house!…"
Republican poll un-skewerer: "Whoa, this is some awesome weed...Whoa, this is some awesome weed…"
Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-TX): "Hello! …ello ...ello ...ello..."
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Note: Don’t forget that the close of the Netroots Nation Fall Online Auction has been extended to tomorrow night at 10 ET. Lots of cool stuff waiting to be pounced on. Go check it out. I'll wait here until you get back. Well, except for you, Godot.
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til the new season of South Park starts: 0!!!
Days 'til the 33rd annual Stone Lake Cranberry Festival in Wisconsin: 10
Current Obama-Romney matchup in Florida: 52-44
Current Obama-Romney matchup in Ohio: 51-47
(Source: Washington Post poll)
Size of the debt collection business, annually: $12 billion
Increase in the number of Americans facing debt collectors today versus 2003: 50%
(Source: L.A. Times)
Percent chance that ATM fees are at record highs: 100%
(Source: CNN)
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Mid-week Rapture Index: 184 (including 3 marks of the Beast and…whoops, better make that 4). Soul Protection Factor 24 lotion is recommended if you’ll be walking amongst the heathen today.
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Reunited four years later…
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JEERS to GOP-induced whiplash. Considering how conservatives think of the U.N. as the Great Sky-Blue Satan---going so far as to oppose it in their party platforms---they sure do want President Obama to hang around and schmooze a lot. How fucked up is that? This is the party with a senatorial candidate who thinks the U.N. is planning to outlaw golf, fer god's sake. You'd think they'd want him to avoid that place like they avoid science books. Well, the president did pop in yesterday to give a big-boy speech about speaking softly and carrying a big stick and defending free speech and getting along in a topsy-turvy world. Mitt Romney, meanwhile, said his speech would've consisted of a single syllable: "Boom." He's losing in November…right?
I'd be smiling, too.
CHEERS to a big warm Missouri McWelcome. The deadline passed at midnight, and now it's GLORIOUSLY official: Todd "Legitimate Rape" Akin is staying the senate race!!! His opponent, incumbent Senator Claire McCaskill, brung him a special gift, opened it, and let the whupass do its thing. What you're about to click on is perhaps
the only ad she'll ever have to run. Text:
Todd Akin in his own words...
On March 18th, 2011, Todd Akin said he didn't like Social Security.
On December 3rd, 2011, Todd Akin said Medicare was unconstitutional.
On March 16th, Akin said he wants to abolish the minimum wage.
On April 21st, he said he would eliminate student loans.
And on August 19th, Todd Akin said only some rapes are "legitimate".
What will he say next?
In the end, there's no mistakin': twas flakin' Akin who cooked his own bacon.
JEERS to men behaving badly. As if there was any doubt to begin with, Senator Scott Brown (R-MA) is not a class act. Finding himself behind in the polls, he decides that the only move he's got is to play the race card and belittle rival Elizabeth Warren's heritage in a new TV ad as his thugs pile on with crude stereotypes out in the street. Warren was ready, though, and released her own ad with a classic tagline: "Scott Brown can keep attacking my family. I'm going to keep fighting for yours." Meanwhile, Warren will ratchet up the pressure today by accusing the former Cosmo model of overmoisturizing. Oh, ouch.
P.S. Warren came out eloquently in favor of medical marijuana on Monday. Bongs from the Berkshires to P'Town gurgled their approval.
His bad ticker almost gave
us President Nixon in 1955!
JEERS to close calls. On Monday, September 26, 1955, stocks dropped like a rock…the fastest rate since 1929. It sounds positively
quaint today:
The Dow Jones dropped 6.5%, 32 points, to 455, with a total paper loss of $14 billion, the largest ever.
Reason: Eisenhower's heart attack. Stocks quickly recovered, though, when the country realized he was
still the president. Or, to be perfectly accurate, when the country realized that Richard Nixon wasn't.
CHEERS to jeers. Let's check in and see how Paul Ryan's latest rally in front of seniors is going…
Boooo!!! Booooo!!! Boooooo!!!
Awesome. My prediction of an Obama landslide stands.
CHEERS to the new kid on America's block. On September 26, 1789, Thomas Jefferson was appointed America’s first Secretary of State. Actual transcript of Day 1:
President Washington: Here's your employee ID badge and key to the executive shite house. Sexual harrassment training parchment---be sure to sign and return it to Human Resources by 5. There's your office. Quills are in the supply closet---get the key from Gladys.
Jefferson: Anything else?
Washington: Yeah. Don’t park in Adams' spot or he'll have your horse towed.
History. Gives ya chills.
"4 more years,"
says #44 to #44
CHEERS to appealing to your base…runner (Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!!!). I was there the night in 1974 when Hank Aaron broke Babe Ruth's home run record. And by there I, of course, mean there in my parents' living room, watching that moment in history on the kind of TV where you had to get up off the couch, grab a knob on the set, and "Ka-CHUNK!" your way to the right channel, after which you'd adjust the rabbit ears and turn the knob-within-the-knob to get the black-and-white picture to look slightly better than the footage of the first walk on the moon, and sometimes 9 year-old Billy would be told to sit closer to the TV because for whatever reason the proximity of the cathode-ray tubes to a live human child brought the picture into even clearer focus, especially during thunderstorms. So, anyway, Hank Aaron just
endorsed President Obama for re-election. And my channel-changing calluses are almost completely healed.
CHEERS to making a joyful noise. In 1892, John Philip Sousa and his band ("The Beatles") performed publicly for the first time at the Stillman Music Hall in Plainfield, New Jersey. Also on this date, the first appearance of the "Is that a Sousaphone in your pocket or are ya just happy to see me?" joke.
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Five years ago in C&J: September 26, 2007
CHEERS to Great Moments in Leadership. Yesterday President Bush told the United Nations to go out and spread freedom. But only as long as the freedom they spread conforms to the strict neocon guidelines of the United States. It's like we've practically done all the thinking for them!
CHEERS to the GOP death spiral. How bad are things for the Republick party? If you believe the latest Gallup poll numbers, they rank higher than satanic puppy-killing child abductors who haven’t bathed in six months, but lower than satanic puppy-killing child abductors who have bathed in six months. But don't use Mr. Bubble, you guys, because I hear it can irritate the skin.
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And just one more…
Cockroach...or birther?
JEERS to nutballs in unexpected places. On Monday a judge struck down some yahoo's attempt to prevent President Obama from appearing on the state ballot on November 6th. The yahoo's contention: that Barack Obama isn't a natural born citizen. And where did this happen? Oklahoma? Arizona? The fetid swamp under Orly Taitz's wig? Nope---it happened in the
bluer-than-blue state of Vermont. [
Sigh] I swear, I can no longer predict with any certainty what's gonna be the last surviving organism on this planet: cockroaches or birthers. Or is that redundant?
Have a nice Wednesday. Choose wisely. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
Emergency rooms are not a substitute for Cheers and Jeers
---Steve Benen
9/25/12
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