From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
The Real Winner of Wednesday's Debate
Steven Spielberg, for throwing a fresh preview of Lincoln into the mix:
We hear he could debate for, like, six hours without breaking a sweat.
Opens Nov. 16.
Your west coast-friendly edition of Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Friday, October 5, 2012
Note: Big Bird goes into hiding as NRA endorses Mitt Romney. Poultry in motion at 11.
By the Numbers:
Days 'til the end of Atlantic hurricane season: 56
Days 'til the Half Moon Bay Art and Pumpkin Festival in California: 8
Number of myths Mitt Romney told in a 38-minute period Wednesday night: 27
(Source: Think Progress)
Percent of Americans who think Vermont is the best New England state for fall leaf peeping: 50%
Percent who picked Maine: 21%
(Source: USA Today survey)
Year in which Mitt Romney invested in the New York Yankees after professing to be a Red Sox fan: 2007
(Source: Greg Dworkin via Daily Kos Radio)
Cost of a bottle of Schorschbock 57 beer: $275
NEW! Friday Joe Lieberman Wanker Walk Countdown:
Joe Lieberman will end his Senate reign of error in 102 days.
Puppy Pic of the Day: Just Jack!!!
CHEERS to Cooking With Billy. Today's dish is something I call a "Good News Sandwich." Assemble your ingredients and stack 'em high:
BreadTop with news that there is no looming bacon shortage. Salt with Republican tears to taste. Bon appetit!
Tumbling unemployment rate
Rising auto sales
Stronger consumer confidence
Growth in manufacturing
Healthy holiday sales projections
Increased small business borrowing
Dow hits five-year high on jobs numbers
CHEERS to a fine summary finely summarized in summary form. I stand by my original opinion that Wednesday night's debate---which theoretically brought together the two sharpest minds of the most awesomest country on the planet---came off with all the excitement of a city council discussion of zoning laws and budget requests. So, now that 48 hours have passed, who won the debate? I say it was John Cole at Balloon Juice, for mind-melding the national consciousness and living to blog about it:
I kind of feel like I just spent the last hour and a half on several hits of acid, sniffing dirty socks I had dipped into hospital ether, stoned to the bejeezus on kine bud, doing foil hits of opium while drinking a quart of vodka and watching Beetlejuice in slow motion while naked rolling in body paint as the Velvet Underground’s “Heroin” played on repeat at earbleeding volumes and every time someone in the room tried to talk to someone else, they just pointed at someone, did a hit of amyl nitrate, and giggled uncontrollably. Also too, rainbows. Go ask Alice. I hear she’s ten feet tall.He survived the ordeal, but doctors say it took several hours to pry the crayon from between his toes.
CHEERS to being ready for your closeup. One year ago today, while dissecting the Occupy Wall Street Movement, one of our favorite Kossacks got some face time on The Daily Show:
Clip of Jesse LaGreca (aka MinistryOfTruth) speaking to Fox News in Zucotti Park: After thirty years of having our living standards decreased while the wealthiest one percent have had it better than ever, I think it's time for maybe, I dunno, some participation in our democracy.A star was born.
Jon Stewart: "Daaaamn! That motherfucker brought game!"
Studio audience: Whooooo!!! Whooooooo!!!
Stewart: Y'know what he said? "Whazzup, tea party! I'll see your tri-corner hat and raise you a Union-soldier kepi!"
CHEERS to cutting your losses. The Red Sox season is over---it's worst season since, I believe, 1965, with a record of 0 wins and 3,497 losses. But that's okay. What's important is that Red Sox Nation is a family. We’re all in this together. Team! Team!!! Oh, and Manager Bobby Valentine? Yer fuckin' fie-yud, ya fuckin' bah-stuhd. With all due respect.
CHEERS to sacrificing for the common good. On October 5, 1947, Harry Truman became the first president to use TV to address the nation. He requested that Americans not eat beef on Tuesdays, poultry on Thursdays, and a slice of bread each day to save on feed grains as a way of helping folks starving in Europe in the wake of World War II. If President Obama tried that today, he'd be accused by the crybaby wing of the GOP of being a Food Nazi trying to starve Grandma of protein and fiber in order to appease whiny foreigners and give an unfair advantage to the arugula growers lobby. I don’t know what's scarier: that I'm such an accurate predictor...or that they're such easy predictees.
CHEERS to home vegetation. If you're fixin' to do some cocooning this weekend, here's some TV-type diversions: On HBO's Real Time tonight, Bill Maher hangs with Bill McKibben, Frank Luntz, Kerry Washington, Will Cain and former Rep. Mark Foley (R-FL). Jon Stewart and Bill O'Reilly are having a debate tomorrow that'll cost you five bucks to watch. New DVD releases include Tim Burton's Dark Shadows (although his latest, Frankenweenie, is getting much better reviews). Your MLB schedule is here. The NFL schedule is here. (The Patriots will send the Broncos to the glue factory---Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!!!) Daniel "007" Craig hosts SNL. On 60 Minutes: 70s singer-songwriter Rodriguez. Oh, and one-eyed aliens Kang and Kodos return to Springfield in The Simpsons: Treehouse of Horror 23.
Meet the Press: One big roundtable with Robert Gibbs, Newt Gingrich, Hilary Rosen, Mike Murphy and Chuck Todd. David Gregory Zinger: "Hey, it's a roundtable full of squares!!!"Happy viewing!
This Week: Bill O'Reilly; roundtable with Paul Krugman, Peggy Noonan, Carville & Matalin. George Stephanopoulos Zinger: "I'm a frayed knot!!!"
Face the Nation: David Axelrod; roundtable with Michael Gerson, John Fund, Norah O'Donnell and John Dickerson. Bob Schieffer Zinger: "Not with my wife, you don't!"
Bill Moyers & Company (link): The growing Hispanic influence in America, with Univision's Jorge Ramos ("The broadcaster who will most determine the 2012 elections") and Maria Elena Salinas ("The voice of Hispanic America"). Bill Moyers Zinger: "Not with Bob Schieffer, you don't!"
Washington Week: Peter Baker (NYT), Dan Balz (WaPost), John Dickerson (Slate), and Jeanne Cummings (Bloomberg). Gwen Ifill Zinger: "I don’t know, but Alaska!"
Fox GOP Talking Points Sunday: Sen. Kelly Ayotte (R-NH); debate coach Brett O'Donnell. Chris Wallace Zinger: "Krauthammer? I hardly know her!"
Six years ago in C&J: October 5, 2006
JEERS to the sound of desperation. George W. Bush---that great arbiter of bipartisan selflessness (cough)---says Democrats "can't be trusted." Of course, the AP left off the second half of that sentence: "...to continue fucking up the United States government and the world like I have."
JEERS to premature ejubilation. Let me get this straight: in this year's defense spending bill, Republicans set aside $20 million for a 2007 victory party in Iraq??? Here's an idea: take the $20 million, divide it by the 2,700+ families who have lost loved ones, and send `em each a check. Or maybe repair a few vehicles. Or replace some body armor. Or get a $20 million clue.
And just one more…
CHEERS to tears. Look, I know that a few of us got a teensy weensy bit, um, alarmed Wednesday night when President Obama appeared to bring his B-game to the debate. So I thought it might be an excellent way to end the week by pointing out that it was one year ago today that the Savior Of The Republican Party, Chris Christie, ruled out a run for the White House by saying, "Now is not my time." You could hear the heads droop, the hearts break, the crests fall. Because, one year ago today, Christie's announcement cleared the way for Mitt Romney to flatten his remaining competitors, one at a time, on his way to the nomination and, in so doing, bring this prediction by the brilliant GOP never-fail analyst Ann Coulter full circle:
"If we don’t run Chris Christie, Romney will be the nominee and we'll lose."So it is written. So it shall be done!
Have a super weekend. Here's Bad Lip Reading Paul Ryan to play us out. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?