Last night, Jon Stewart had some good fun at Fox News's expense for their unhinged reactions to Barack Obama's solid victory over Mitt Romney.
And don't think God is getting off the hook in this election!
11/7/2012:
MONICA CROWLEY: I do think that the storm threw a monkey wrench in Mitt Romney's momentum because it disrupted the storyline.
BRIAN KILMEADE: One photo-op walking over a 2X4, and all of a sudden he's handling a storm.
If only President Bush could've been so lucky as to have a massive hurricane on his watch that he... oh, right. (audience applause)
Still, though, the question remains. How could a network as in touch with the common man fail to see what was coming?
11/7/2012:
BRIAN KILMEADE: Dick, what happened, what changed? What about your model compared to the reality?
DICK MORRIS: Well, I'm buried in a mudslide.
Hey, I got news for ya, buddy. That ain't mud. But don't blame Dick! Blame the demographics.
DICK MORRIS (11/7/2012): This is the new America. This isn't your father's America. ... We are now in a turnout model that is totally different than we ever had. Blacks are now 13% of the vote, not 11; Latinos are 10, not 8. The previous numbers were the '04 model, and I thought things would return to that. They didn't.
"I thought the minorities who voted in 2008 would've disappeared by now. I thought maybe they would return to their home planets, or reach their expiration date and dissolve into whatever minorities are made of, or something. But, turns out they still exist in human form."
But the real problem here wasn't the voters' inexplicable decision to be less white.
Video and full transcript below the fold.
Last night brought a big storm to Bullshit Mountain, a storm for which its citizens were unprepared, having relied for so long on their own internal forecasts. But luckily for them....
That's right, the Ailesmanac. They're professionals. And after the initial panic over the numbers subsided, the party of personal responsibility did what it does best. Figure out why it wasn't their fault. Suspect #1? The media.
PAT CADDELL (11/6/2012): The mainstream media basically favored Obama.
STEVE DOOCY (11/7/2012): The numbers from the exit polling seems to kind of mirror, or parrot, the mainstream media.
LOU DOBBS (11/6/2012): When you've got the national liberal media working compulsively on your behalf, it is very difficult to break through the noise to the reality.
Sure. And even though the Pew Research Center found the media was being about equally negative to both candidates in the run-up to Election Day, that story itself was reported in... (scary trumpet music) the media!
And don't think God is getting off the hook in this election!
11/7/2012:
MONICA CROWLEY: I do think that the storm threw a monkey wrench in Mitt Romney's momentum because it disrupted the storyline.
BRIAN KILMEADE: One photo-op walking over a 2X4, and all of a sudden he's handling a storm.
If only President Bush could've been so lucky as to have a massive hurricane on his watch that he... oh, right. (audience applause)
Still, though, the question remains. How could a network as in touch with the common man fail to see what was coming?
11/7/2012:
BRIAN KILMEADE: Dick, what happened, what changed? What about your model compared to the reality?
DICK MORRIS: Well, I'm buried in a mudslide.
Hey, I got news for ya, buddy. That ain't mud. But don't blame Dick! Blame the demographics.
DICK MORRIS (11/7/2012): This is the new America. This isn't your father's America. ... We are now in a turnout model that is totally different than we ever had. Blacks are now 13% of the vote, not 11; Latinos are 10, not 8. The previous numbers were the '04 model, and I thought things would return to that. They didn't.
"I thought the minorities who voted in 2008 would've disappeared by now. I thought maybe they would return to their home planets, or reach their expiration date and dissolve into whatever minorities are made of, or something. But, turns out they still exist in human form."
But the real problem here wasn't the voters' inexplicable decision to be less white. It was the ruthless Obama smear machine.
11/6/2012:
BRET BAIER: The Obama campaign running a very aggressive early effort to characterize Mitt Romney as a corporate raider and his time at Bain Capital....
MEGYN KELLY: ... that he was a vulture, vampire, vulture capitalist.
It was so unfair! I mean, where did that stuff come from anyway?
RICK PERRY (1/11/2012): There's a real difference between venture capitalism and vulture capitalism.
NEWT GINGRICH (1/10/2012): Pretty hard to justify rich people figuring out clever legal ways to loot a company.
RICK SANTORUM (3/19/2012): You really believe this country wants to elect a Wall Street financier?
RICK PERRY (1/8/2012): It was a steel mill that Bain swept in, they picked that company over.
NEWT GINGRICH (1/8/2012): Bain, at times, engaged in behavior where they looted a company, leaving behind 1,700 unemployed people.
Damn you Obama!!! The call was coming from inside your own house!
And even the right's beloved super PACs — designed to do to Obama what the right can't believe Obama would do to Romney — misfired. Remember Shelly Adelson? (in Jerry Lewis voice) Adelson, Shelly Adelson, Las Vegas billionaire.
Said he'd give up to $100 million dollars to defeat the socialist Obama. Why did he have to give so much money? 'Cause he'd already given millions to Gingrich in the primaries to defeat the vulture capitalist Romney! The half-hour "King of Bain" attack ad was produced and distributed by Romney's sugar daddy Sheldon Adelson. This election wasn't murder. It was auto-unerotic asphyxiation.
The highlight of Fox's total meltdown for me — and there were a lot of highlights, I'm a bit of a connoisseur — was to see where they ultimately landed, the place they could go to in their own minds to rationalize the utter destruction of Bullshit Mountain.
11/7/2012:
PETER JOHNSON, JR.: It was almost four years of division and class warfare. We need to hope and pray that the President understand now that that policy is divisive, and that policy is destructive to the future of the United States.
STEVE DOOCY: Let's hope that a lesson has been learned and he surprises us with some moderation.
PETER JOHNSON, JR.: Hope is important.
Yes, let this resounding victory by Barack Obama be a lesson to the President! If you don't moderate your positions, you may not win that third term. We'll be right back.
To open the show, Jon covered the
election result with Karl Rove's legendary freakout over the numbers.
Jon then had on 538's
Nate Silver.
Meanwhile, after Stephen climbed out of his stupor, he also noted Bill O'Reilly's comments about non-white America wanting "stuff" and some of the voter suppression tactics.
He then looked at a new report about people who think
wind turbines are causing their health problems. He then talked with historian
Doris Kearns Goodwin.
And on Election Night, Jon opened with coverage from correspondents John Oliver reporting on real-time social media analysis, Jessica Williams and Aasif Mandvi at campaign headquarters, Al Madrigal and Wyatt Cenac looking ahead to potential 2016 matchups, and Sam Bee talking with some undecided voters. Jon even talked with hologram George Washington. He then handed it off to Stephen, who had to grudgingly report the results. He then talked with a joyful Andrew Sullivan before looking at some Senate races and state measures.