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Walking through this empty house,
Tears in my eyes.
This is how the story ends,
This is goodbye.

I have spent a frantic time since my brother died on getting everything settled. I cleaned up his finances the best I could. I went through a ten room house with attic and basement and got it cleaned up. All the furniture is out of the house. The “for sale” signs go up today. I have a couple of appointments scattered through the day so I can’t leave until tomorrow morning. There is nothing left for me to do.  Now the tears are flowing.

This was the perfect house for my Dad. It needed so much work and he was a handyman.  He rewired the whole house. He built in the side porch. He painted and wallpapered and stripped floors to show the beautiful hardwood.  He loved this old house.

Mom loved the house the minute she saw it. She had no idea how much work needed to be done. Mom and Dad made this place a home for close to 30 years. It is an old fashioned house for two very old fashioned people. It was the perfect place to spend the rest of their lives. They both died here. Dad was planting a bush and keeled over from a heart attack and was dead before he hit the ground. Mom died in her sleep in her bed.

As I walk around this empty house I keep seeing it as it was. I see the furnishings and decorations. I see Mom and Dad and Mike. I see Dad at his computer as we sat and talked on one of my many visits. I see Mom at the stove making endless bowls of pudding. I see Dad on his John Deere riding mover. I see Mom and Mike in front of the Christmas tree the last time it was put up. I see Dad in his Lazy Boy chair holding his great grandchild. I see Mike listening to his expensive stereo system that he love so much.

It is all gone now. There is only emptiness here. All of the furniture and decorations loving picked out are at the auction house. Mike’s beloved stereo system is there. All the books and records are there. Dad’s John Deere mower is there. The dining set they loved so much is going to their only grandchild. I’m taking a rocking chair.

What hurts most is knowing that Mike should have been here to help out and that a lot of the things should have been moved down to North Carolina with him. I know Mom and Dad wanted us to sell the house and split the proceeds among the five children. I know it had to be done. It is just that it hurts so much to have to sell off my parent’s and brother’s things. It feels like I am selling part of their lives. I did what I had to do and now it is time for the tears.




Dad and Kayla

Mom, Mike & Eric Christmas

Originally posted to michelewln on Fri Nov 09, 2012 at 06:23 AM PST.

Also republished by Street Prophets , CareGiving Kos, Pink Clubhouse, and Community Spotlight.

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