As New Englanders grimly contemplate a month or more of Gronklessness*, an even more horrific prospect appears on the horizon: that president Obama might remove John Kerry from the Senate to the Cabinet, whereupon Scott Brown will rise from the grave, compelled yet again to devour human brains. The nightmare scenario appears beneath the rete mirabile.
Massachusetts law requires a special election to fill a Senate vacancy. That's how Scott Brown became a senator in the first place. Massachusetts Democrats don't have any compelling candidates to fill a new vacancy. Just witness the ragtag band of Whotheheckareyous? who ran against Elizabeth Warren in the primary.
Did I say well-financed? A zombie Scott Brown candidacy will be the opportunity for the wounded and enraged financiers of the Romney debacle to recover a shred of their dignity, and there will be no competition for their money. Massachusetts will be carpeted a foot deep in cash. Blimps advertising Scott Brown will hover over every city square and village green. They won't just buy every commercial slot on radio and TV. They'll buy the TV stations and run 24 hour Scott Brown infomercials. They'll buy the Boston Globe, Worcester Telegraph and Gazette, and Berkshire Eagle, and rename them respectively the Boston, Worcester and Berkshire ScottBrownforSenate.
Brown has already proved he can win a bye-election, he already has an organization and enthusiastic, experienced volunteers. The Democrats had the candidate they wanted on November 6 and pretty even finances, and Brown still outpolled Obama by something like ten points and made it close until near the end. He'll get a sympathy vote this time around as well.
Mr. President, please, in the name of all that is good and decent, don't do it! Sen. Kerry, think of the children!
*For those who don't follow the game where steroid abusers in plastic armor beat the crap out of each other, that's New England Patriots superhuman tight end Rob Gronkowski, out of action with a broken arm.