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As I was sitting around the dinner table yesterday waiting for everyone to quit talking about their damn kids so I could interject something pithy about the electoral college it occurred to me that switching virtually every oven in America on "High" for four or more hours in an attempt to render the meat of a deviantly mutated bird relatively harmless would inevitably require vast amounts of heat in order to do the job properly. This heat, along with a hefty dollop of CO2 and carbon created as a result, would drift into the atmosphere and eventually contribute to climate change.

As a vegetarian this epiphany is modestly depressing. Squash take much less time to cook and no one fights over who gets the leg.

I guess the saving grace for this mini-conflagration is that each cook didn't toss their turkeys over the intake manifolds of their SUVs and race pointlessly around for several days until the poor creature reached the peak of gustatory perfection.

I also had one other, slightly less cheeky, inspiration about Thanksgiving leftovers... trade them with the neighbors. Seriously. Offer some stuffing for stuffing, vegetables for vegetables, pie for pie. It would be fun and you'd get a taste of what your neighbors call home cooking without actually having to sit at their table, waiting for your chance to bitch about the electoral college.

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