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I have the inside dope on the Fox War on Christmas story about my little town kicking a nativity scene out of a public park -- and what a surprise -- Fox News got it wrong.

I've lived in Santa Monica for 30 years, and from the first couldn't believe those tacky hot mess "dioramas" were kept up for decades, or erected in the first place.

First of all, ban any thoughts of tasteful creches you might have seen: these were giant plywood boxes faced with chicken wire, containing department store dummies draped in sheets, .

Classy.

And there were fucking 14 of 'em blocking an otherwise beautiful view of the ocean, supposedly telling the whole Christmas story, annunciation, nativity, etc. (No, I can't for the life of me recall why that story might need 14 plywood chapters.)

Which were sponsored by local churches and the effing police department, for Christ's sake.

A year or so ago, the city council set up a lottery for those wishing to desecrate this city park at holiday time, and a local atheist group joined in, so the Christianists only snagged three spaces.

Let the Chistianist Holiday Hissy Fit commence! And then the Atheists took only a space or two to erect signs about "myths."

Christianist Hissy Fit revved up to 11, and somebody vandalized the Atheists' display.

At which point, the city council washed their hands of the whole mishegas, banning all holiday displays on public land -- separation of church and state, ya know.

(A block away, the local malls have geared up with Christmas trees and every other holiday thingamabob decoration you could wish for, plus the city has strung Christmas lights through all the trees for blocks.)

But...Death Con-Level Christianist Hissy Fit! They sued! They lost their suit!

The Christianists found private land further into the city on which to erect their ugly kitsch dioramas!

Fox news covered it as a War on Christmas story.

When in actuality, it was a Christianist Hissy Fit/Vandalism story.

Now we have an unobstructed view of the ocean, except for the Christianists forming a "living" Christmas display every evening, so I'll be forced to suffer through the 500,000th version of "The Little Drummer Boy" I'll have been subjected to in this particular lifetime.

It's raining tonight, I hope they all get soaked.

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