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You know, it must be very hard to be a female conservative these days. Not only must Republican women strive their best to ignore the same things Republican men strenuously ignore (the droughts, the weather, climate change, George W. Bush, the death of Osama Bin Laden, the fact that Bush mysteriously flew the Bin Laden family out of the US immediately after 9/11 while American citizens were grounded, the fact that the economy crashed under George W. Bush, the fact that the economy has improved under Obama, the fact that the debt has been shrinking under Obama,, the fact that people are still blaming the Republicans for everything- and for good reason, the fact that, well, things are just going from bad to worse for the GOP)..... these are all things that female conservatives must ignore as strenuously as their male colleagues. On top of aaaaall that, female conservatives also must ignore rape statistics, domestic violence statistics, women's health statistics, the failure of abstinence-only sexual education programs, the cutting of funding for programs aimed at helping poor women, the extent to which pro-life policies hurt women across the globe, the extent to which the pro-life movement is hypocritical. Period. There is just SO MUCH to ignore when you're a female conservative. It's enough to turn Sarah Palin anorexic. And Ann Coulter! Geez, have you seen the woman? She clearly hasn't had a bite to eat since Obama won the 2008 election.

 Frankly, if we want to get the tone of political discourse in this country back on track we should start by feeding Ann Coulter. One sandwich and this woman might actually stop using slurs in her everyday conversation. Hell, give her a milkshake and she may even vote Democratic in 2016!

Click on the link below to help defeat world hunger. Who knows? Some of it may splash back on Ann!

Defeat world hunger!

Nevertheless there is one female conservative who still manages to pull on her panties and slap on her lipstick with renewed vigor every day. Michelle Malkin, aka Little Miss Malkin, continues to blithely write column after column with a sort of freedom of mind that comes to people naturally able to ignore the facts. Unfettered by the realities of the world Little Miss Malkin puts dainty fingers to keyboard on a daily basis in order to fight the monsters of our times: climate change, war profiteering, deliberate congressional gridl- sorry, no. UNIONS!!!!! UNIONS! UNIONS! UNIONS! Plus jihadists. No, not Osama Bin Laden (don't want to draw too much attention to the fact that Obama killed him and not George W. Bush), but the fourteen-year-old impoverished boys captured without due cause in Afganistan and slowly growing into bitter, middle-aged men behind bars... yeah, those guys are apparently the new threat to our shores.

Read on below the Garfield poop.

Earlier this month Little Miss Malkin took a moment away from painting unions as terrorist organizations to talk about a shocking new development: Obama was starting to take concrete steps to close Guantanamo Bay and bring the prisoners to America.

The 9/11 Families for a Safe and Strong America, which spearheaded the movement against shipping jihadi detainees to the mainland, exposed the fine print of the Obama DOJ’s deal with the state of Illinois. The purpose of the Thomson facility acquisition, according to the DOJ notice filed in the D.C. courts, included this clause:

“… as well as to provide humane and secure confinement of individuals held under authority of any Act of Congress, and such other persons as in the opinion of the Attorney General of the United States are proper subjects for confinement in such institutions.”

Guess whom that covers? Yup: Gitmo detainees, who are being held under the 2001 congressional act known as the Authorization for Use of Military Force.

And let me tell ya, if there's anything that puts Little Miss Malkin's pantyhose in a knot, it's the suggestion of "humane" treatment towards.... well, anyone really. There are a few exceptions however, such as the fact that our tender rapists and murderers currently inhabiting American's maximum security facilities could be exposed to the Guantanamo Bay prisoners, often adolescents who are seeing their youth and young adulthood drain away year after year as they are denied access to lawyers or basic human rights. Many Guantanamo prisoners even commit suicide rather than face more decades behind bars for crimes they did not commit. While Little Miss Malkin may show great concern for the hurt feelings of the current inhabitants of maximum security prisons over the fact that they might have to share cells with some fellow with an accent, the deep frustration, despair, and suicide of innocent men held captive indefinitely by the American government concerns her pretty little head not so much. As she said to Bill O'Reilly in regards to the suicides of three Guantanamo detainees: "Boo freakin' hoo." And let me tell ya, when you're being interviewed by Bill O'Reilly and YOU'RE the biggest dick in the room.... that's a damn accomplishment.

But while the deaths of innocent men left to waste away without legal representation is really just a bit of light nothing that can be dusted away from a nation's political conscience without leaving even a smudge... the fact that Obama might be engaged in the perfectly legal purchase of an Illinois correctional center is just absolutely beyond the pale. The federal government has bought the fully equipped and state-of-the-art Thomson Correctional Facility in western Illinois and, in the process, infused the cash-strapped Illinois state budget with a much-needed 165 million dollars. So Guantanamo prisoners will be held in better conditions and the state government of Illinois can pay its teachers and policemen for another year. Basically, everybody comes out ahead.... and NOTHING makes a girl's mascara bristle like people handling their budget problems in a responsible way.

Durbin told a local Illinois paper that "the decision to move ahead came directly from President Barack Obama" and that he had secured the green light during a discussion on Air Force One earlier in the spring. But this gift to Obama's Illinois homeboys wasn't just a run-of-the-mill campaign favor.
Obama's "homeboys??" Seriously? You're going to go that route? Well, if we're going to throw racist turns of phrase into the pot then I'll be happy to play along. Perhaps a "Michelle Malkin no loves Obama long time" joke? But seriously, what is it about this deal that so burns Little Miss Malkin's pert little tush?
The message was clear: Taxpayers don’t want manipulative Gitmo detainees or their three-ring circuses of transnationalist sympathizers and left-wing lawyers on American soil. Period.
Yeah, that's why American taxpayers elected the guy who pledged to close Guantanamo Bay. Twice. Now that Obama is planning to get his butt in gear and actually close the damn place, all that can really be said to those who object is boo freakin' hoo.  

In all sincerity though, it really is too bad when columnists like Michelle Malkin represent the brain trust of what was once a real Grand Old Party. Back during the Reagan era when conservatives actually had a few good ideas female Republicans were stentorian figures. Florence King thundered from the pages of the National Review. She was a woman. She was gay. She was an atheist. She was an unapologetic misanthropic libertarian feminist who had little patience for the more whispy versions of Earth Mother/ Wiccan/Iwuvyou New Age movements that were in vogue during the eighties and nineties. Sigh. Yes... I am old enough to remember those days.

During these days of the War on Women where anybody registered with the GOP must be anti-birth control, anti-evolution, anti- women's health and anti-math Ms. King has now been relegated to the occasional book review at the back of the print edition of the National Review. Unfortunately Ms. King's dismissal of this year's GOP candidates as "Nitt Gomney" and "Sanctus Santorum" may have ruffled more than a few feathers over at the new, improved, no-dissent-tolerated National Review. Meanwhile morons like Moaning Charen and Colleen Carroll Campbell make up the vast wasteland of women writers at that publication. That really is too bad. Frankly, Professor Michael Mann is wasting his time suing the National Review. The whole damn magazine is worth only two cents.

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