This is Part LIII of My Stupid State where I document what happens when a state full of Democrats elect a veto-proof, right-wing legislature along with a teabag, CRIMINAL governor to lead us. (Once again, yes--an actual bona-fide criminal who literally stole from seniors, who subsequently elected him.) This is my documentation of my beloved but idiotic state's slow descent into chaos.
I've said this before, I'll say it again.
Rick Scott is a fucking ASS-HOLE!
Asked last week what had happened to [Rick Scott's adopted rescue dog], Scott's current and former communications director refused to answer...
But he wouldn't say where the dog was and accused reporters of "surfing some old Facebook or website pages.'' At one point an exasperated reporter asked Burgess if he had killed the dog, and Burgess denied ever killing a dog, but still wouldn't say where Reagan was.
Right after Rick Scott defeated perennial loser Bill McCollum to win the GOP nomination for governor in 2010, apparently some highly-paid consultant said he needed to look a lot less like the evil man that he truly is and adopt a rescue pet.
So it came to be. Rick Scott made a HUGE deal on his candidate Facebook page that he had rescued a puppy Labrador Retriever. Bastard even scarred it by naming it Reagan (after holding a "fun" contest): "The Scott family is proud to announce that the name (chosen by you) for their newly adopted pup is Reagan! Thanks to everyone who participated in the fun contest".
YAY! What fun!
Florida teabag wingnuts took to the comments page praising him for naming him after their conserva-demigod. Others took the mandatory practice of slamming Obama for some crap like Bo being an elitist puppy. (Yeah! That fucking Obama and his dog that everyone still knows is alive, safe and cared for!)
The puppy was in the newspapers up till the day before Scott's swearing-in ceremony.
That was the last time people saw him.
He then disappeared.
When the Tampa Bay Times dared to ask where the dog was, they got dodge after dodge. Burgess first said he was desperately "working on an answer". OH...not because they gave a shit about what happened to the dog but because of the "potential PR nightmare if the Tampa Bay Times doesn't receive a photo of Reagan next to the today's copy of the Tampa Bay Times."
Yes. He wrote that. I don't know what's worse. That he expects us to believe he had to "research" that he was missing? Or that he was less worried about the poor dog being gone than he was about this turning into "Seamus II". (Or Pam Bondi's "puppygate" all over again. Our rightwing AG was in hot water for stealing a dog from a Katrina family.)
Burgess tried and tried but just couldn't determine if the dog was really missing or just playing a 2 year-long game of hide and seek or had somehow buried himself after accidentally murdering himself. Failing any good spin, he referred all questions to a new comm director, Melissa Sellers.
She brilliantly answered that she was "far too busy" to answer any questions about some dumb dog. (After which she assuredly must have said something like "And that's the end of that chapter!").
Then another spokesman took the prize by pretending Rick Scott had only ever had the one dog, Tallee.
Fed up with the embarrassing fiasco that is Scott's communications team, the Tampa Bay Times bypassed them all and just decided to ask the fucking governor himself, whom none of these redstate geniuses ever bothered to brief with their spin.
Essentially, Rick Scott said the dog was a terror (he liked to bark a lot) and that he just had to get rid of him.
Another GOP politician treating a dog the same way he treats people.
SO to sum up, Scott needed a campaign prop. He didn't need it after the election. Almost immediately after he was elected, he got rid of him. And everyone on his team thought everyone was too dumb to notice. (They have a point... we did elect this asshat to our highest office.)
It's a sad story in many ways, but don't feel too bad. At least the poor thing isn't with Rick Scott anymore.
2:56 PM PT: So where is the dog now? Depends on who you believe. According to Fox News, Rick Scott gave the dog to back to his former owner. The Raw Story says he went back to the rescue shelter. The Times article reports he went to a private business in Naples called All Pets Grooming and Boarding. And the Jacksonville paper just admitted they don't
know where the hell the dog is. No one does. I just hope he's okay.
3:26 PM PT: Finally, a happy ending to a Scott ordeal. According to BuzzFeed, a Florida TV station managed to locate the dog just today. He is living on a ranch and has been renamed Pluto. Not surprisingly he is apparently doing very well now that he is with a loving family.