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On "Blue Monday," millions of Americans—chief among them, former POW John McCain—watched the second inauguration of President Barack Hussein Obama, and hoped/prayed that he would apologize for decisively winning the past two elections.

Much to their dismay, however, instead of surrendering to some bullshit fantasy of theirs, Obama forcefully made the case for progressive values.

His words proved to be too much for top Republicans; some went into hiding, while others went off the deep end—all but accusing him of lip-syncing to an audiobook of The Communist Manifesto and/or Mein Kampf.

Now, I'm not a psychiatrist, but if I were one, I'd say that the GOP's problems are rooted in stupidity, psychopathy, vaginaphilia, racism, objectivism, misogyny, xenophobia, homophobia, and stuff.

Also, too.

Morning lineup:

Meet the Press: Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI); Roundtable: Heritage Foundation President Jim DeMint, NAACP CEO/President Ben Jealous, Bob Woodward and Andrea Mitchell (NBC News).

Face the Nation: Sen. Diane Feinstein (D-CA); NYC Police Commissioner Ray Kelly; Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich (R-GA); Rep. Marsha Blackburn (R-TN); Roundtable: Obama Deputy Campaign Manager Stephanie Cutter, Romney Campaign Senior Adviser Kevin Madden, David Sanger (New York Times) and David Ignatius (Washington Post).

This Week: Sen. John McCain (R-AZ); Sen. Robert Menendez (D-NJ); Screenwriter Mark Boal; Author Mark Bowden; Roundtable: George Will (Washington Post), Rep. David Schweikert (R-AZ), Democratic Strategist Donna Brazile, Steve Inskeep (NPR) and Chris Hughes (The New Republic)

Fox News Sunday: Retired Col. Martha McSally; Retired Gen. Jerry Boykin; Sen. Bob Corker (R-TN); Sen. Dick Durbin (D-IL); Roundtable: Brit Hume (Fox News), Jeff Zeleny (New York Times), Kimberley Strassel (Wall Street Journal) and Juan Williams (Fox News).

State of the Union: Retired Gen. Stanley McChrystal; Former CIA Director Michael C. Hayden;  Sen. Dianne Feinstein (D-CA); Virginia Gov. Bob McDonnell (R); Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker (R)l Saratoga Springs, Utah Mayor Mia Love (R); Former Commerce Secretary Carlos Gutierrez; Reliable Sources: Bob Costas (NBC Sports); David Frum (Newsweek/Daily Beast); Clarence Page (Chicago Tribune); Amy Argetsinger (Washington Post).

The Chris Matthews Show: Chuck Todd (NBC News); Kathleen Parker (Washington Post); Radhika Jones (TIME); Chris Frates (National Journal).

Fareed Zakaria GPS: King Abdullah II of Jordan; Russian Prime Minister Dmitry Medvedev.

Up with Chris Hayes: Former US Ambassador to Austria Swanee Hunt; Author Robin Wright; Syracuse University Prof. Horace Campbell; Joshua Trevino (Texas Public Policy Foundation); Vince Warren (Center for Constitutional Rights); Phyllis Bennis (Institute for Policy Studies); Adam Serwer (Mother Jones).

Evening lineup:
60 Minutes will feature: a joint interview with President Barack Obama and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton (preview); and, a report on the fall of Lance Armstrong (preview).

On Comedy Central...

Jon Stewart raised some questions about the competence of the Congressional Republicans who grilled a clearly unimpressed Secretary of State Hillary Clinton about Benghazi.

The Daily Show

Monday: Bob Costas (NBC Sports)

Tuesday: Actress Melissa McCarthy

Wednesday: Former Vice President Al Gore

Thursday: Actor Jason Bateman

And Stephen Colbert examined the GOP's new electoral vote-rigging scheme.

The Colbert Report

Monday: Michael Shellenberger (The Breakthrough Institute)

Tuesday: Author George Saunders

Wednesday: Microsoft Co-Founder Bill Gates

Thursday: Author Matthew Guerrieri

Elsewhere...

Rep. Steve King (R-IA) joined NRA President Wayne LaPierre in expressing concern about what effect background checks would have on his Christmas gift-giving.

"And I look at the President's argument on background checks. That would mean that every transaction on guns in America would have to be approved by a federally licensed firearms dealer," King explained. "And that would mean that Christmas at the Kings would be outlawed unless one of us got a federal firearms license. If we want to trade guns or buy one for each other, it can’t change hands without having the universal registration component of that. So I'm concerned about that from a constitutional perspective."

Meanwhile...

Washed-up rocker/pedophile Ted Nugent exhorted his fellow gun nuts to prepare for a second Revolutionary War.

Speaking to fans during an NBC-sponsored gun show, Nugent said that Obama "is attempting to re-implement the tyranny of King George that we escaped from in 1776," adding: "If you want another Concord bridge, I've got some buddies."

The comment was a reference to the Battle of Concord, in which a British soldier broke a standoff and fired upon assembled American militiamen, in what later became known as "the shot heard around the world" that helped launch the Revolutionary War.

He added that Obama "hires, appoints and associates with communists," and that he's "an evil, dangerous man who hates America and hates freedom. And we need to fix this as soon as possible."

And, speaking of communists...

Rep. Paul Broun (R-GA) worried that President Obama learned everything he knows about the Constitution back in the USSR.

"I think my role is to uphold support and defend our Constitution," he said. "The Constitution I uphold and defend is the one I carry in my pocket all the time, the U.S. Constitution. I don't know what Constitution that other members of Congress uphold, but it's not this one. I think the only Constitution that Barack Obama upholds is the Soviet constitution, not this one. He has no concept of this one, though he claimed to be a constitutional lawyer."

Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit drinking.

- Trix

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