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Yes, i wrote a call out diary.  It was recent.  It was part of the gun wars.  And it is something that I am neither ashamed of, but will never do again.  Please read below the fold for the details.

I wrote a diary about guns.  I can say it was somewhat snarky (a violation of my own standard of conduct, sorry for that), but far less, I think than a lot of diaries.  Someone took offense, and wrote some things in comments that were pretty objectionable.  

Now please understand, I am not attempting to restart that war. Please read further and you will see why..  Short version, there is no need, even if there would be benefit, which there isn't.

I was warned that I would get banhammered if I did not take it down.  Sure enough, I got the red screen of death warning me that if I didn't delete it, I would get banned.  I thought about it for awhile.  I was inclined to leave it and let the chips fall where they may.  But as the saying goes, that would have been cutting off my nose to spite my face.  

I decided to delete the diary, and thus I am still here.  Besides, I achieved my goal.  I called attention to the incident, and got what I thought was the appropriate response.  Again, I am not trying to re-ignite that flame war, nor will I do it again.  

I thought about doing a TTFN, but decided not to for the same reason as I decided to take down the diary.  I enjoy writing and discussing things, and this site gives me that outlet.

So here is what happened next.  I got a Kosmail.  I read whom it was from and my heart both dropped and quickened.  I almost didn't read it, but I DID.  I am very happy that I did for it was an apology.  I had thought of writing one myself, but pride got in the way.  This other person was bigger than I and did it first.  I responded in kind, and after a couple more Kosmails we let the matter drop.  Peace was between us and back inside myself.  

My situation had a good conclusion in all respect.  I am still here and writing, and I and the other community member are both at peace.  

But that is not the case for many people here.  I understand why the diarist who wrote the TTFN today did it.  Many of us do not have big followings.  That is what it is.  But here is the problem.  If a person has a big following with lots of regular rec's and commentators they are protected by these "community standards" that some hold as so sacrosanct.  If someone jumps there shit in the comments, they are going to get the protection and response that is needed, the HR's, the bannings, the spotlight on bad behavior.

However, the rest of us little people are not afforded such protections.  I have a question for those who wrote the rules, and those who hold them as if they are Moses coming down from the Mt.  What further suggestions do you have to make the site more workable?  Clearly something more should be done.  I do not think a full time moderator is necessary, let Kos build his business,.  He has better things to do.  But think on it, those who will lecture about right and wrong.  Do you want us to remain?  Are we also valuable to DailyKos?  

Maybe it is, as someone wrote, the season and cabin fever.  Or maybe there is bigger issue.  Just saying.

Peace and Love to all.

Originally posted to kaminpdx on Mon Jan 28, 2013 at 10:35 AM PST.

Also republished by Courtesy Kos.

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Comment Preferences

  •  Tip Jar (13+ / 0-)

    When you say it is "common sense" what you are really saying is "I don't have any evidence to back up my argument", because it is quite often neither common nor sense.

    by kaminpdx on Mon Jan 28, 2013 at 10:35:01 AM PST

  •  The first wipe is always the messiest. (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    qofdisks

    I sing praises in the church of nonsense, but in my heart I'm still an atheist, demanding sense of all things.

    by jbou on Mon Jan 28, 2013 at 10:41:25 AM PST

  •  i know how you feel kamin (6+ / 0-)


    I haven't got my cushion of followers either ( I think I have like. 28?) and nobody comes rushing to my rescue if I say something that isn't popular among the Kos Glitterati.  Probably mostly because I don't write many diaries. I've been reclisted once, rarely hide-rated, but comment a lot.  I saw your diary, didn't think it was any big deal, but also didn't notice when it vanished.  Glad you got a resolution - I can't say I've ever gotten an apology on here!  but I've rarely been in a situation where I was waiting for me either.  Hang in! glad to see you're still here!

    "Kossacks are held to a higher standard. Like Hebrew National hot dogs." - blueaardvark

    by louisev on Mon Jan 28, 2013 at 10:45:39 AM PST

    •  thanks, ur cooments make me (0+ / 0-)

      feel like it is worth staying.

      When you say it is "common sense" what you are really saying is "I don't have any evidence to back up my argument", because it is quite often neither common nor sense.

      by kaminpdx on Mon Jan 28, 2013 at 11:11:47 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

      •  oh I think it is (1+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        kaliope


        but not for the 'making friends' part although that can happen.  There is a huge amount of good news and political punditry, that it overcomes the asshat factor by a longshot.  DKos is my favorite daily visit for websites, most of the time!  Oh and I was wrong - I only have 19 followers!

        "Kossacks are held to a higher standard. Like Hebrew National hot dogs." - blueaardvark

        by louisev on Mon Jan 28, 2013 at 11:13:46 AM PST

        [ Parent ]

  •  Well, I suppose I'm different (12+ / 0-)

    I DO have my cushion of followers, but I haven't done anything that required anyone to come to my rescue since my diary on discussing homelessness here, last June. It took a few months, but the person who attacked me apologized and now we're getting along well.

    I'm also the guy who wrote TWO diaries after Aurora since I didn't think the RKBA people had taken my first one seriously (my issue was discussing gun regulations as "liberty-squashing" when gay people can be fired at will in at least 20 states), proving that there might indeed be a right way and a wrong way to address these issues.

    I'm glad yours worked out, kam. Thanks for posting it, and this one is going to Courtesy Kos too.

    -7.75, -8.10; . . . Seneca Falls, Selma and Stonewall (h/t cooper888)

    by Dave in Northridge on Mon Jan 28, 2013 at 10:56:52 AM PST

    •  hey dave (3+ / 0-)

      I remember being really crushed that after Tucson and the horrific attack on Gabby Giffords that there was no movement by the Obama administration.  I would like to think that was Obama being a little too shy of the gun lobby at that time.  And then after Aurora, I was doubly disappointed that the Administration took no initiative.  But when I saw the tears in Obama's eyes that horrible weekend I thought to myself - now, something must change.

      And our site has to be equal to the task of facing these long, long overdue, deadly-serious issues in earnest.

      "Kossacks are held to a higher standard. Like Hebrew National hot dogs." - blueaardvark

      by louisev on Mon Jan 28, 2013 at 12:00:04 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

  •  Don't know why you were warned, I've seen (0+ / 0-)

    similar "call out" diaries. That one didn't cross the line, IMO. You didn't put a name in the title, which is the bulk of the "no call out" rule. There are more "popular" diarists who write them all the time, and they end up on the rec list.

    "Mitt Romney looks like the CEO who fires you, then goes to the Country Club and laughs about it with his friends." ~ Thomas Roberts MSNBC

    by second gen on Mon Jan 28, 2013 at 10:59:12 AM PST

    •  used name in diary, (0+ / 0-)

      and a quote that got hid after I posted it. Just guessing.  I am also one of the little people.

      When you say it is "common sense" what you are really saying is "I don't have any evidence to back up my argument", because it is quite often neither common nor sense.

      by kaminpdx on Mon Jan 28, 2013 at 11:20:21 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

      •  That's often done. And the FAQs specifically (1+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        kaminpdx

        state that there is no rule against quoting a hidden comment, although it's not nice, it's not against the rules.

        I used to be a stickler with the rules. But since they change regularly, and it depends on who breaks them, I rarely say much. I find myself defending alleged rule breakers more than defending the rules, anymore.

        "Mitt Romney looks like the CEO who fires you, then goes to the Country Club and laughs about it with his friends." ~ Thomas Roberts MSNBC

        by second gen on Mon Jan 28, 2013 at 11:39:46 AM PST

        [ Parent ]

  •  In search of a wide open website (0+ / 0-)

    I just asked this question on another thread, but this gives me another chance.  Are there any websites that allow people to publish diaries and make comments, but where there is no moderation policy and no one ever gets banned?  I sure would like to find one.

    •  I know a place where they have that. (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      wasatch

      It's called Somalia.

      "Mitt Romney looks like the CEO who fires you, then goes to the Country Club and laughs about it with his friends." ~ Thomas Roberts MSNBC

      by second gen on Mon Jan 28, 2013 at 11:17:58 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

    •  usenet (2+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      BachFan, Catte Nappe

      totally unmoderated ancient set of discussion groups that existed before there were web browsers
      Not sure if there is still software to acces it, but it lives on as  "Google Groups"

    •  Such exists (3+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      BachFan, Catte Nappe, kaliope

      For a while, I followed a political forum that was adamantly un-monitored.  It was their point of pride.

      The forum was populated almost exclusively by Tea Party conservatives, who were free to express their most abject racist thoughts, which they did by the bucket-full.  They liked the site because the site allowed them their uninhibited racist ranting.  Because many of the regulars were vets, the default lingo on the site resembled that of RL Emrey in Full-Metal Jacket.  If I posted, I was immediately labelled a "n*gg*r-lovin' pole-smoker who should take Obama's c**k out of your mouth".

      I found it vaguely amusing, but it definately required a thick skin and a strong stomach.

      It was certainly not the place for in-depth, considered, reality-based discussions.

      "The fool doth think he is wise: the wise man knows himself to be a fool" - W. Shakespeare

      by Hugh Jim Bissell on Mon Jan 28, 2013 at 11:31:29 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

    •  the Yahoo message boards (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      kaliope

      the Somalia of the internet.  Sometimes I have to venture there in search of financial news but I don't like it.

  •  "I'm sorry"... (4+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    SilentBrook, wasatch, SoCalSal, kaliope

    I've said it many times in my life...feels good...others should try it...when needed.

    my wife taught me a technique to use with my brother...I can acknowledge his concerns...but not agree...it makes for a much more civil conversation.

    I try to use it here...but must admit...I'm not prefect...yet.


    We are not broke, we are being robbed.

    by Glen The Plumber on Mon Jan 28, 2013 at 11:04:16 AM PST

  •  Quibble (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    kaminpdx, wilderness voice, kaliope
    If a person has a big following with lots of regular rec's and commentators they are protected by these "community standards" that some hold as so sacrosanct.  If someone jumps there shit in the comments, they are going to get the protection and response that is needed, the HR's, the bannings, the spotlight on bad behavior.
    I like to think I'm in this boat. But my continually breaching the party line leaves me vulnerable to every insult that can be thrown at me.

    "Til you're so fucking crazy you can't follow their rules" John Lennon - Working Class Hero

    by Horace Boothroyd III on Mon Jan 28, 2013 at 11:19:05 AM PST

  •  There is the (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    SoCalSal, Catte Nappe, kaliope

    Talk Me Down service here...

    All knowledge is worth having. Check out OctopodiCon to support steampunk learning and fun. Also, on DKos, check out the Itzl Alert Network.

    by Noddy on Mon Jan 28, 2013 at 11:26:22 AM PST

    •  That is good to know about (0+ / 0-)

      It will be interesting to see if it helps some. There are folks who don't want to be talked down, of course.

      "No one life is more important than another. No one voice is more valid than another. Each life is a treasure. Each voice deserves to be heard." Patriot Daily News Clearinghouse & Onomastic

      by Catte Nappe on Mon Jan 28, 2013 at 01:51:01 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

      •  Well, no cookies for them, then. (3+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        Catte Nappe, Melanie in IA, kaliope

        But those who are new to DKos and feel like they are being attacked can go there for some good advice.  It may mitigate some of the issues the diarist mentioned, especially for those with few followers and who aren't well known.

        I try to pay attention to the new diarists and the people with low followers, but I get busy...

        All knowledge is worth having. Check out OctopodiCon to support steampunk learning and fun. Also, on DKos, check out the Itzl Alert Network.

        by Noddy on Mon Jan 28, 2013 at 02:08:26 PM PST

        [ Parent ]

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