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Last night, Stephen Colbert really ripped into Tennessee state senator Stacey Campfield (R), previously known for his "Don't Say Gay" bill, for his latest round of bigoted nuttery.

Sadly, the Don't Say Gay bill was defeated last spring.  But Campfield is back with something completely new.
ABC 10 (2/1/2013): Tennessee state senator Stacey Campfield has filed a classroom protection act.  It would require counselors to report students' conversations about sexuality to parents.

GOOD DAY L.A. (2/1/2013): State senator Stacey Campfield says it's ridiculous to say we should shield parents from the information about their kid's homosexual activity.

See?  Totally different.  It's gone from Don't Say Gay, to "GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!"

(audience applause)

No evidence.

Now, I'm sure they'll work out some system to inform parents of their child's homosexuality, maybe the report card.  "Look mom, I got 3 B's and a GAY+!"

....

Now naturally, this idea was not too popular with the same-sex huggers out there.  Campfield's had some angry e-mail exchanges with his constituents, which he addressed on the least gay of all news programs, TMZ.  Jim?

2/4/2013:

HARVEY LEVIN: What about the response to the constituent?

ST. SEN. STACEY CAMPFIELD, R-TN: Yeah, that person's a well-known homosexual advocate, and the biggest bullies in the world out there is really the homosexual community.

Oh yeah, it's well known.  Homosexuals, notorious bullies.  Many of them spend their teenage years mercilessly ramming their face into the football team's fists.  The important thing about this, folks, it's not about ostracizing gay students into a life of loneliness, it's all about education.  We are teaching these children, isolated by their identity, that there is absolutely no adult that they can trust.

....

FOX 29 (1/30/2013): A Tennessee state senator wants to cut welfare funding for parents whose children perform poorly in school.

ST. SEN. STACEY CAMPFIELD, R-TN (1/30/2013): Listen, if your did is failing every single class because who knows what reason, we're going to stop or cut back on the amount of straight cash payment. ... If you want to talk motivation, nothing motivates like cash.

And nobody knows that better than a politician.  (audience applause)

....

And folks, these welfare kids, they're rolling in the dough!  Did you know that in Tennessee, "the maximum benefit for a mother with two children is $185 a month"?  And February only has 28 days.  Cha-ching!  Somebody's turning some sweet coin on Black History Month.

And I am not the only one who loves Campfield's idea.  Over on the Fox & Friends, the brown-haired guy who's not Steve Doocy wishes that this plan had been in place when he was in school.

BRIAN KILMEADE (1/29/2013): I remember what happened to me in kindergarten.  I used to fake illness because I couldn't recognize my name. ... I had to hang up my coat in my cubbyhole with my name on it, but since I couldn't recognize my name, I just kept faking illness.  And if my parents had been cracked down on, and money had been taken from them, they would've found out the real reason why I was faking.
Sadly, to this day, he still does not recognize his name.  (audience applause)  He is forced to sign his checks with a cartoon penis.

Video and full transcript below the fold.

And that brings me to another installment of our sometimes running series, Mr. Smith Goes to the State Legislature, and Then Later Possibly to Washington.  First up tonight, Tennessee state senator and lost Weasley brother Stacey Campfield.  Now, I first noted Campfield when he demonstrated his deep knowledge of immunology by declaring that AIDS was caused by:
ST. SEN. STACEY CAMPFIELD, R-TN (1/26/2012): ... one guy screwing a monkey, if I recall correctly, and then having sex with men.  It was an airline pilot, if I recall.
(shocked audience laughter and applause)

And if I recall, it was shortly after that, that airlines stopped serving free cocktails to monkeys in first class.  Pilots couldn't resist.

Now I have long admired Campfield's heroic work protecting our students' morals with his "Don't Say Gay" bill, which proposed banning teachers from discussing homosexuality in school.  Yes, if you don't talk about something, it goes away.  For instance, Sarah Palin.  (wild audience applause)  We miss you.

Sadly, the Don't Say Gay bill was defeated last spring.  But Campfield is back with something completely new.

ABC 10 (2/1/2013): Tennessee state senator Stacey Campfield has filed a classroom protection act.  It would require counselors to report students' conversations about sexuality to parents.

GOOD DAY L.A. (2/1/2013): State senator Stacey Campfield says it's ridiculous to say we should shield parents from the information about their kid's homosexual activity.

See?  Totally different.  It's gone from Don't Say Gay, to "GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!"

(audience applause)

No evidence.

Now, I'm sure they'll work out some system to inform parents of their child's homosexuality, maybe the report card.  "Look mom, I got 3 B's and a GAY+!"

And teachers, of course, will have a foolproof way to determine a student's sexual preference.  If any of the other students call him a gaywad, or a gaybo.  Cuz those are not terms children throw around casually.  They are based on hard evidence only, like someone having the wrong color backpack, or being the new kid.

Now naturally, this idea was not too popular with the same-sex huggers out there.  Campfield's had some angry e-mail exchanges with his constituents, which he addressed on the least gay of all news programs, TMZ.  Jim?

2/4/2013:

HARVEY LEVIN: What about the response to the constituent?

ST. SEN. STACEY CAMPFIELD, R-TN: Yeah, that person's a well-known homosexual advocate, and the biggest bullies in the world out there is really the homosexual community.

Oh yeah, it's well known.  Homosexuals, notorious bullies.  Many of them spend their teenage years mercilessly ramming their face into the football team's fists.  The important thing about this, folks, it's not about ostracizing gay students into a life of loneliness, it's all about education.  We are teaching these children, isolated by their identity, that there is absolutely no adult that they can trust.

Next up on the MSGTTLTLP-dubs, Nation, I'm sick of moochers who get paid to sit around all day.  And so are these experts, who are paid to sit around all day to complain about the moochers.

REP. PAUL RYAN, R-WI (1/27/2013): More and more able-bodied people are becoming dependent upon the government than upon themselves and their livelihoods.

BILL O'REILLY (11/20/2012): In '91, individuals in 41 million American households were receiving some kind of entitlement.  Now the number is an astounding 107 million Americans, an increase of 161%.  Can you believe it?

CHARLES KRAUTHAMMER (1/22/2013): The country has become more dependent, more people receiving the benefits of government, that there's a lot more people who want to suck on the teat of the state.

It's true.  Even worse, it forces us to hear Charles Krauthammer say "suck on the teat".  (Stephen retches)

Well thankfully, another GOP state senator/potential presidential hopeful has a bold solution to this problem.  And surprise, it's Stacey Campfield!  Because once again, he has set his sights on the freeloadiest of all American freeloaders, children.

FOX 29 (1/30/2013): A Tennessee state senator wants to cut welfare funding for parents whose children perform poorly in school.

ST. SEN. STACEY CAMPFIELD, R-TN (1/30/2013): Listen, if your did is failing every single class because who knows what reason, we're going to stop or cut back on the amount of straight cash payment. ... If you want to talk motivation, nothing motivates like cash.

And nobody knows that better than a politician.  (audience applause)

And folks, these welfare kids, they're rolling in the dough!  Did you know that in Tennessee, "the maximum benefit for a mother with two children is $185 a month"?  And February only has 28 days.  Cha-ching!  Somebody's turning some sweet coin on Black History Month.

And I am not the only one who loves Campfield's idea.  Over on the Fox & Friends, the brown-haired guy who's not Steve Doocy wishes that this plan had been in place when he was in school.

BRIAN KILMEADE (1/29/2013): I remember what happened to me in kindergarten.  I used to fake illness because I couldn't recognize my name. ... I had to hang up my coat in my cubbyhole with my name on it, but since I couldn't recognize my name, I just kept faking illness.  And if my parents had been cracked down on, and money had been taken from them, they would've found out the real reason why I was faking.
Sadly, to this day, he still does not recognize his name.  (audience applause)  He is forced to sign his checks with a cartoon penis.

(audience laughter)

So I say bravo, state senator!  Or should I say, future President Campfield?  There is no way your educational ideas can fail.  And if they do fail, we'll take away your government check, you gaywad!  (wild audience applause)  We'll be right back.

And after warning people of the coming winter storm, Stephen then looked at the new Bang With Friends app and its consequences.
Meanwhile, after Obama pre-empted his drone coverage by giving the Senate his administration's legal rationale for drone strikes, Jon turned to looking at the sequester's defense cuts, and Al Madrigal focused specifically on the tanks that the military says they don't need.
Jon then looked at the recent change to Monopoly.
Stephen interviewed director Benh Zeitlin, and Jon talked with TARP's former Inspector General Neil Barofsky, which went long.  Here's the unedited interview in two parts.
Part 1
Part 2

Originally posted to BruinKid on Fri Feb 08, 2013 at 05:00 AM PST.

Also republished by Three Star Kossacks and Electronic America: Progressives Film, music & Arts Group.

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Comment Preferences

  •  I am one of those people (6+ / 0-)

    who most trust the news I get from the Comedy Channel.  Thank you, Stephen.

    If the Republicans ever find out that Barack Obama favors respiration, we'll be a one-party system inside two minutes. - Alan Lewis

    by MadRuth on Fri Feb 08, 2013 at 05:22:33 AM PST

  •  And I am forced, as a taxpayer, to subsidize these (8+ / 0-)

    politician-assholes, their families, and benefits for their families.  

    There oughtta be a law..... oh that's right, the one law these creeps would never think to pass is a law outlawing the paying of salaries to sex-obsessed puritanical idiot goons who happen to have been elected to higher office expressly for the purpose of inventing sex-obsessed puritanical idiot laws.

    That's one more thing to add to my long list of small problems. --my son, age 10

    by concernedamerican on Fri Feb 08, 2013 at 05:23:13 AM PST

    •  You know, there's a pretty simple fix for that: (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      concernedamerican

      ====================
      Stop voting for them.
      ====================

      Ok, now that's fixed, we can move onto some other pressing problems...

      - This one made a huge splash when it appeared. In 2006 more Americans were able to name two of the “seven dwarves” than two of the Supreme Court justices. And that was before Kagan and Sotomayor showed up. To be fair, Happy and Sleepy are easy to remember.

      - More Americans can identify the Three Stooges than the three branches of government--you know, the ones who are jockeying over our welfare.

      (those are just the last two of the list!)

      ...continued...

      Blaming Americans for being ignorant unwashed masses--or taking potshots at an education system that doesn’t teach critical thinking-- would be the easy answer to this conundrum.

      But the reality is that if messaging has such a big effect on Americans, then messaging matters. Folks on our end have to counter the lies with well-told, unabashed unironic, truth-telling. And we have to demand that our media, and our politicians, call out the other side. As Perlstein notes, “When one side breaks the social contract, and the other side makes a virtue of never calling them out on it, the liar always wins. When it becomes 'uncivil' to call out liars, lying becomes free.”

      Even worse, once lies begin to spread, they become more than rumors--they become permanent beliefs.

      Ok, so the solution is a little more complicated than I suggested. Your elected reps are a product of your education system - which is failing - and then your elected reps fail your education system and you.

      I can't wait to see Christine O'Donnell (or her ilk) run again. If nothing is fixed, she'll win and 'eye of newt' and bat wing' futures will go through the roof.

      'If you want to be a hero, well just follow me.' - J. Lennon

      by Clive all hat no horse Rodeo on Fri Feb 08, 2013 at 03:30:09 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

  •  wonder when the guy is going to come up with (6+ / 0-)

    the idea of tying school "outing" of students with vouchers for the "Gay Therapy" clinics so beloved of wingers everywhere?  After all it makes sense that a state that does not fund women's health clinics would fund "gay therapy" clinics in a perverse sort of reverse logic, perhaps finding a way to funnel public funds to "pray away teh gay programs"

    •  I waiting for him to get caught (0+ / 0-)

      in some sort of compromising situation.  It always seems that the biggest anti gay politicians end up being gay themselves.  They are such big hypocrites!

      “It is the job of the artist to think outside the boundaries of permissible thought and dare say things that no one else will say."—Howard Zinn

      by musiclady on Fri Feb 08, 2013 at 08:17:43 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

  •  Informers in the best tradition of... (0+ / 0-)

    ...East Germany's Stasi!

    And these people call Obama "tyrannical"? Nazi and communist? For what, providing health care to more people AND stopping the deadly proliferation of assault weapons? Really?

    Is this once again the small government Republicans want? Can't wait for them to want to start reading our e-mails and listening to our phone conversations. Oh, wait...

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