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What bugs me the most about gay marriage is that we are calling it "gay marriage".  

It isn't gay marriage.  Its the right to marry, not gay-marry.


Our language about this subject needs to catch up.  

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Comment Preferences

  •  We have perfectly good term... (8+ / 0-)

    ...for this: marriage equality.

    Don't tell me what you believe, show me what you do and I will tell you what you believe.

    by Meteor Blades on Wed Mar 27, 2013 at 08:12:37 PM PDT

    •  And we ought to insist on calling it that. (0+ / 0-)

      What good all-American isn't for equality?

      •  People who are convinced that it is necessary for (0+ / 0-)

        there to be a social hierarchy in which people on top tell every one else what to do, rightly, perceive equality as a threat to the rule of an elite. But, since it wouldn't be PC to admit it, they focus on particular populations whose behavior supposedly justifies their authoritarian attitude.
        Marriage is an individual, self-directed enterprise undertaken for mutual support. So, it is both individual and social and a challenge to persons who are reluctant to engage in the obligations implicit in mutual support. There's a reason 51% of the U.S. adult population is single. At least 20% of the population is refusing to be mated. They are a minority. And, if the institution expands to more people, then the isolates will be even more exposed. If everybody who wants to gets married, then those who don't will look foolish, rather than self-reliant.
        It's not about the gays; it's about the misfits.

        We organize governments to deliver services and prevent abuse.

        by hannah on Thu Mar 28, 2013 at 12:31:39 AM PDT

        [ Parent ]

  •  We have perfectly good term... (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Horace Boothroyd III, sunbro

    ...for this: marriage equality.

    Don't tell me what you believe, show me what you do and I will tell you what you believe.

    by Meteor Blades on Wed Mar 27, 2013 at 08:13:25 PM PDT

    •  It's not a good term because, just as the (0+ / 0-)

      participants, each marriage is different. The issue is whether or not agents of government provide equal treatment to permit applicants.
      "The issuance of a permit is not a matter of grace," as Justice Kennedy is wont to say. When the applicant for a permit meets appropriate criteria, the permit must be issued. The problem this creates is that "permit" in the case of intrinsically good behaviors (people pledging to take care of each other) is an inappropriate term because permits are usually issued for activities that might well cause harm, if not properly carried out. So, for example, we have permits to drive and permits to emit hazardous wastes in prescribed quantities. There is nothing inherently harmful about marriage. Getting it registered with a public agency serves no public purpose. Which is why registered marriages are accorded special "benefits" or "privileges" to encourage registration. Public agencies find it useful to know who has taken responsibility for whom, including the rearing of the next generation.
      In other words, there is a misunderstanding about the nature of permits on the part of those opposed to their issuance. They think, because they have a preference for dictating the behavior of other people, that the permit is not just a record, but an authorization -- that people can't get married without it. They also fail to understand that marriage in a voluntary commitment to obligations, mostly because they themselves reject obligation out of hand.
      Defining an action in terms of some unrelated characteristic of the person engaged in the action is logically inappropriate. Think of "blond driving." Blondness has nothing to do with driving, just as gender has nothing to do with marriage.
      "Ah but," you answer, "we have driving while black." Exactly. It happens, but it is wrong for law enforcement to suspect misbehavior on the basis of skin color. It has nothing to do with driving well or badly. Moreover, suspicion wastes time, of which we never have more of.

      We organize governments to deliver services and prevent abuse.

      by hannah on Thu Mar 28, 2013 at 12:59:16 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  •  "We" don't call it "Gay marriage" (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    HappyinNM, gramofsam1

    Those of us fighting for recognition call it "marriage equality". "Gay marriage" is a dog whistle, used to imply that gays and lesbians are demanding "special rights".

    "Given the choice between a Republican and someone who acts like a Republican, people will vote for a real Republican every time." Harry Truman

    by MargaretPOA on Wed Mar 27, 2013 at 08:53:31 PM PDT

  •  I don't know the degree to which... (0+ / 0-)

    the advent of the term "marriage equality" coincided with the shift in public opinion, or the extent to which it mattered in that shift.

    But, apart from the logic and nonprejudicial nature of the term, semantics do matter. Framing it as an equality issue, I suspect has helped the cause among those who were late to the party.

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