More than 400,000 Californians will have their weekly federal unemployment benefits reduced by about 17.7 percent starting April 28 as a result of the federal budget cuts known as sequestration... The cuts will affect only federal benefits, which start after someone has exhausted their regular state benefits, which typically last up to 26 weeks.Suckers.
You thought could hang out for seventy-three weeks, didn't you, living high off the government tit. But now that you've been unemployed for more than twenty-six weeks and it's virtually impossible for you to get a job, the government has wised up! No longer will you be able to
pay the rent live it up, buy groceries eat out at fancy steakhouses, or pay the utilities bask in your heated pool. No, from now on you and your family are going to live on $244 dollars a week in a state where you'd be lucky to find a one-bedroom apartment for $700/montheven in the FSM-forsaken town of Bakersfield you can live on the street for free and not worry about freezing to death - most of the year.
Yes, thanks to a government who thinks if it has to tighten its belt (because... austerity) then you should have to strangle your esophagus (because... austerity), you might well become a prime candidate for
two thumbs up by a death panel eviction or foreclosure. Which would mean you wouldn't have to pay any rent or mortgage at all!
All is for the best in the best of all possible worlds.