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Remember last week when I wrote about milestones? Apparently I was getting ahead of myself and didn't want to think about the concept too much.
Yesterday was not only this year's Mother's Day, it was also the day my older daughter graduated from law school.
My cancer was diagnosed during my daughter's second semester as a law student. I scheduled my surgery in part so that (rather selfishly) I could ask her to help me out during her spring break. She stayed with me in the hospital all night after my surgery, because I had a semi-private room with a female roommate and my husband could not stay with me himself. That summer, when I was undergoing chemotherapy, my daughter had a summer job close to home so that she could continue to offer support to me and to her little sister. Her choice, and yet....
For a while, when my chemo had failed and the cancer had metastasized to my lungs, I was not sure I'd live to see her graduate. But I have. Oh, glorious day!
I did not consciously think about this particular milestone until Thursday this week. I cried only a little bit at the ceremony. But my heart is still full of gratitude and relief, as well as joy and pride in her accomplishment. Lucky mom I am in both my daughters. Yesterday it was my oldest's turn to shine.  

Monday Night Cancer Club is a Daily Kos group focused on dealing with cancer, primarily for cancer survivors and caregivers, though clinicians, researchers, and others with a special interest are also welcome. Volunteer diarists post Monday evenings between 7-8 PM ET on topics related to living with cancer, which is very broadly defined to include physical, spiritual, emotional and cognitive aspects. Mindful of the controversies endemic to cancer prevention and treatment, we ask that both diarists and commenters keep an open mind regarding strategies for surviving cancer, whether based in traditional, Eastern, Western, allopathic or other medical practices. This is a club no one wants to join, in truth, and compassion will help us make it through the challenge together.

This diary might wind up being a placeholder for another tonight, which may yet make its appearance; we'll see. (My spaciness is the problem re: scheduling.) If it winds up being the diary of record, though, that's fine. I do admit to a little bit of chagrin that I was aware on one level, but not on all, when I wrote last week's diary. These things happen, I guess. Good reason to cultivate humility where self-awareness is concerned.

Please do feel free to treat this diary as an open thread in any case.

 

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Comment Preferences

  •  Sorry to post this late. Distracted day, (14+ / 0-)

    recuperating. Hope this week finds everyone well, however.
    (I might be able to edit the diary with a photo. We'll see what transpires soon in that regard.)
    Thanks for stopping by.

    Some DKos series & groups worth your while: Black Kos, Native American Netroots, KosAbility, Monday Night Cancer Club. If you'd like to join the Motor City Kossacks, send me a Kosmail.

    by peregrine kate on Mon May 13, 2013 at 05:54:23 PM PDT

  •  I have up days and down days in terms of energy. (8+ / 0-)

    After yesterday's busyness and excitement, I am really tired out. It's a good thing that we worked hard the week before to get the house orderly; now I don't feel quite as compelled to do something TODAY.
    On the other hand, we are planning to have a yard sale this coming weekend. Our back porch is completely full of stuff we're hoping to get rid of, one way or another. That's the project for every day this week, to organize and price (and clean, if necessary). It does feel good to lighten the load around here.

    Some DKos series & groups worth your while: Black Kos, Native American Netroots, KosAbility, Monday Night Cancer Club. If you'd like to join the Motor City Kossacks, send me a Kosmail.

    by peregrine kate on Mon May 13, 2013 at 06:20:12 PM PDT

  •  I had a milestone this weekend. (5+ / 0-)

    Not cancer related but related to my last 3 to 4 weeks of dizziness and not working.

    At some point I felt like watching a movie. And thats when I realized how sick I had really been. I had been off work but was sleeping only. I still don't feel that great but feel well enough to read or watch a movie.

    I watched a wonderful one called Under the Bombs about Lebanon and why I picked How to Die in Oregon, I don't know (yes, I do) but it was very, very good.

    Tracy B Ann - technically that is my signature.

    by ZenTrainer on Mon May 13, 2013 at 06:28:01 PM PDT

    •  Oh, I am so glad that you are better. (5+ / 0-)

      Any ideas what's been going on? Displaced inner-ear crystals or something like that? What seems to have helped?
      Isn't it funny (peculiar) how easy it is to get detached from our own sense of normalcy?

      Some DKos series & groups worth your while: Black Kos, Native American Netroots, KosAbility, Monday Night Cancer Club. If you'd like to join the Motor City Kossacks, send me a Kosmail.

      by peregrine kate on Mon May 13, 2013 at 06:31:29 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  Sinus infection plus an ear infection and (3+ / 0-)

        allergies. I am on my second round of antibiotics.

        And I believe all of that was brought about by taking a drug that had a side effect of lowering my immune system which already sucks now as it is.

        Now I am just dealing with side effects of antibiotics. I don't do well on them at all!

        But there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

        And I am at that grumpy "you kids get off my lawn" stage of recovery.

        Only for me it's "You kids stay the fuck away from my house". And when they came back a few days later (to taunt my dog) I said "What part of stay the fuck away didn't you understand?"

        I was actually quite delighted to do this. Only later it struck me that it might be illegal to yell at 11 years olds even if they are little shits who taunt my dog.

        Tracy B Ann - technically that is my signature.

        by ZenTrainer on Mon May 13, 2013 at 06:48:28 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

  •  All clear at my oncologist appointment this AM (8+ / 0-)

    Every 6 months a little fear.

    Every 6 months a big relief.

    Phew.

  •  Hi Kate and Zen (3+ / 0-)

    Such an interesting topic.  Congratulations on your daughters graduation.  What a wonderful milestone for both of you.

    I had my lumpectomy surgery last Tuesday and will be meeting with the surgeon tomorrow for the final, if anything is ever final, report and plan my way forward into radiation and hormone therapy.

    So I'm thinking that my diagnosis of breast cancer is a milestone but for what I don't know yet.

    This has been such an interesting experience, one I never expected to have.  Thanks Kate for your support earlier.  It is a journey.  This is a very early stage breast cancer so I don't find myself seriously concerned, more just plain surprised still.

    Happy Mother's Day Kate and Zen.

    The 'shift' is hitting the fan.

    by sydneyluv on Mon May 13, 2013 at 06:47:11 PM PDT

    •  How are you feeling? (3+ / 0-)

      Have you got your drains in still? Was it in lymph nodes?

      Are you asking for help? I am very bad at that but a lot of my friends are co-dependent and they are great at helping out.

      Really co-dependents make the best friends I think.

      Tracy B Ann - technically that is my signature.

      by ZenTrainer on Mon May 13, 2013 at 06:51:30 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  I hope sydneyluv will answer your questions... (3+ / 0-)

        but I think I'm going to steal your last sentence for my next sig line. LOL. (With attribution of course)

        Some DKos series & groups worth your while: Black Kos, Native American Netroots, KosAbility, Monday Night Cancer Club. If you'd like to join the Motor City Kossacks, send me a Kosmail.

        by peregrine kate on Mon May 13, 2013 at 06:59:00 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

      •  I'm doing surprising well post lumpectomy (1+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        peregrine kate

        Will be returning to work 1/2 time today after one week off.  No drains and from preliminary frozen section during surgery, no positive nodes.  I'm seeing the surgeon this morning for the official path report.

        I've had plenty of help, as much as I could want.  I'm with you on the co-dependent friends.  Unfortunately ;-) most of my friends have had a lot of therapy and have moved beyond that particular neurosis and we're older.  My daughters and son came up with their plan of taking care of me during this which included my friends bringing in meals.  I laughed and said, "honey, my friends no longer cook, if they ever did.  They're all career women."  Catering is my friend.

        Thanks for the inquiry and your thoughts. I have found breast cancer.org.  It's a great site.  Anything I've wanted to know I can find there.

        The 'shift' is hitting the fan.

        by sydneyluv on Tue May 14, 2013 at 06:19:34 AM PDT

        [ Parent ]

        •  Do you have a Gilda's Club near you? (1+ / 0-)
          Recommended by:
          peregrine kate

          That's been great support for me and they have free food and snacks!

          Tracy B Ann - technically that is my signature.

          by ZenTrainer on Tue May 14, 2013 at 07:41:37 AM PDT

          [ Parent ]

        •  So funny re the friends. (0+ / 0-)

          I know what you mean about cooking, though, and I'm on disability (so really "ought" to have time to cook).

          Lovely of your children to think about ways people can help all the same.

          Some DKos series & groups worth your while: Black Kos, Native American Netroots, KosAbility, Monday Night Cancer Club. If you'd like to join the Motor City Kossacks, send me a Kosmail.

          by peregrine kate on Tue May 14, 2013 at 08:36:28 AM PDT

          [ Parent ]

    •  Yeah, your curiosity about "ever final" (4+ / 0-)

      is a good point. Hard to tell.
      I hope you get very, very good news from your surgeon tomorrow. If it's a DCIS then your treatment regimen and your long-term prospects should both be very bearable. Fingers crossed.

      Some DKos series & groups worth your while: Black Kos, Native American Netroots, KosAbility, Monday Night Cancer Club. If you'd like to join the Motor City Kossacks, send me a Kosmail.

      by peregrine kate on Mon May 13, 2013 at 07:00:58 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  •  I received my incredibly wonderful quilt!!! (3+ / 0-)

    Which is so lovely and full of love and hope and inspiration!  Many many thanks to Sara and Ann and all of you who gave me messages!  Especially ZuZu and Zen and PK.  Sara also got messages from some of my real life friends and relatives...  it's so very special.  Every time I pick it up I concentrate on whatever message is uppermost and meditate on it.  

    I'm home in New Mexico with my mom.  Dad got sick last month and we all went home and got to see him and he passed peacefully at home two days after we got him home from the hospital.  Helping mom settle his estate; hope to sell her house and move her home with me soon.  Will be none too soon.   I do have my dogs here with me but I really don't like my hometown; I left when I was 18 and will never return if I can ever get mom out of here (!).  At least I have my pups and my QUILT!!!

    Congrats on your daughter's milestone, PK.  What an accomplishment!

    Look deep into nature, and you will understand everything better. Albert Einstein

    by Carol in San Antonio on Mon May 13, 2013 at 07:27:54 PM PDT

    •  {{{{{CiSA}}}}} (2+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      Carol in San Antonio, ZenTrainer

      My sincere condolences on the passing of your father. I am glad to read that his death was peaceful and at home.
      It is a big job to take care of all of that business afterwards; good luck to you and your mother for a smooth and rapid resolution to the whole process.
      Hooray for you that you have your quilt (and your dogs) to keep you company! From the photos it looks beautiful, really special.
      Thanks for the good wishes. Yes, the graduates all (well, almost all) looked so young and full of energy. It was a wonderful day. Now for a successful bar exam, and then on to the next challenge....

      Some DKos series & groups worth your while: Black Kos, Native American Netroots, KosAbility, Monday Night Cancer Club. If you'd like to join the Motor City Kossacks, send me a Kosmail.

      by peregrine kate on Mon May 13, 2013 at 07:36:16 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

    •  I'm sorry to hear about your dad! (2+ / 0-)

      I'm thrilled that you got your quilt and that Sara drew a picture of my dog on it! He appreciates all the support you've given me.

      Tracy B Ann - technically that is my signature.

      by ZenTrainer on Mon May 13, 2013 at 08:33:07 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  •  All right, MNCCers--Time to post the diary call (3+ / 0-)

    once again.

    Cancer and PTSD
    Cancer and Depression
    Cancer and Anxiety
    Race and Class Disparities in Cancer Survival
    Clinical Trials (murasaki)
    Cancer and Genetic Testing
    Cancer and Environmental "Hot Spots" (DWG)
    Cancer and Patient Advocates (Avila)
    Politics of Cancer (ZenTrainer)
    Cancer and Survivor's Guilt

    I'm thinking about doing a diary on breathing sometime soon. Betty Pinson is going to do a diary soon on her experiences at a BC lobbying event last week. ZT has a diary in the works about support.
    But these are so very far from exhausting the possibilities. Please feel free to make your own suggestions to me or ZenTrainer via Kosmail.

    I'll be here for a little while longer, but it's getting to be that time for me tonight.

    Some DKos series & groups worth your while: Black Kos, Native American Netroots, KosAbility, Monday Night Cancer Club. If you'd like to join the Motor City Kossacks, send me a Kosmail.

    by peregrine kate on Mon May 13, 2013 at 08:40:55 PM PDT

  •  And in a couple more minutes I'll really sign off. (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Carol in San Antonio, ZenTrainer

    The stamina just isn't there.
    Nice to hear from those of you who came by tonight. The light will still be on for everyone who is on the later shift. Hope everyone has a healthy and peaceful week--see you next Monday.

    Some DKos series & groups worth your while: Black Kos, Native American Netroots, KosAbility, Monday Night Cancer Club. If you'd like to join the Motor City Kossacks, send me a Kosmail.

    by peregrine kate on Mon May 13, 2013 at 08:51:00 PM PDT

  •  PK! (3+ / 0-)

    Congrats to you and your family on your daughters milestone.  Now she just has to "pass the bar" and no I don't not mean walk about Bernies Tavern on the corner. LOL

    Life is not a problem to be solved but an adventure to be experienced.

    by DarkHawk98 on Mon May 13, 2013 at 08:55:11 PM PDT

    •  Thanks, DH98. It'll be a challenge (0+ / 0-)

      but I think she'll be up to it. We'll see.
      Some attorneys I know passed the first time, and others needed a couple of tries. In the long run it doesn't matter much.

      Some DKos series & groups worth your while: Black Kos, Native American Netroots, KosAbility, Monday Night Cancer Club. If you'd like to join the Motor City Kossacks, send me a Kosmail.

      by peregrine kate on Tue May 14, 2013 at 08:37:53 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  You are right PK (1+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        peregrine kate

        my brother needed to take the test twice and he has had a very successful and long career in Law.  

        More importantly, you are welcome!

        Life is not a problem to be solved but an adventure to be experienced.

        by DarkHawk98 on Tue May 14, 2013 at 06:10:36 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

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