I have never needed or wanted help, or didn’t think I did at any rate. Once when I had hernia surgery I actually took a car service to and from the hospital!
Cancer changed that though. I needed help and wanted it; I just didn’t know what kind. In the beginning friends insisted on helping by taking me to the hospital for surgeries and staying with me. They helped me in a million different ways and I appreciate all of them.
There came a time when I needed a different kind of support, something my friends couldn’t give me. I needed to talk with and be with people who had cancer; people who were currently dealing with it and people who had survived it. People who had chosen my treatment path (I haven’t found that yet) and people following different treatment paths. I wanted people who were ahead of me and behind me in the treatment and recovery process.
I wanted to hear success and failure stories. I wanted tips, suggestions and guides to resources. I wanted support from people who were in the trenches with me.
What will follow may seem an odd explanation of what cancer support means to me but I am nothing if not odd.
In December 2012, twenty children and six teachers were shot in a mass murder in Newtown CT at Sandy Hook Elementary school for no discernable reason. In March of 2013, 26 people, one to represent each victim, rode bikes 400 miles from Newtown to Washington, DC to participate in a rally for gun safety.
Some of the bike riders were first responders. Police, firefighters and medical personnel who had some bike experience. Some professional cyclists with ties to Newtown joined and some of the cyclists were parents of the children who were killed. Team 26 - a team of 26 riders who also had a support crew in place.
Now, I didn’t know a thing about bike riding until I watched this brave team for 4 days.
It seems that cycling truly is a team sport and there are things they do to help each other out.
In this picture what you see is the rider on the right struggling, having a bit of difficulty. The rider next to him gently puts an arm on his low back to give him support. And another rider comes up to shore up the rider giving the support.
In this photo, you see the same rider struggling again, and support comes from both sides this time. It’s support that is given freely, gently, and lovingly with a true sense of fellowship.
I am that rider, who is struggling, my struggle just happens to be cancer. My support groups are my fellow riders providing gentle and loving support and I couldn’t do it without them. Not without those on the cancer journey with me or the support crew that is in place freely backing us all up.
My two main cancer support groups are Gilda’s Club and the Monday Night Cancer Club here at Daily Kos. What are your support groups and what do they mean to you?
Monday Night Cancer Club is a Daily Kos group focused on dealing with cancer, primarily for cancer survivors and caregivers, though clinicians, researchers, and others with a special interest are also welcome. Volunteer diarists post Monday evenings between 7-8 PM ET on topics related to living with cancer, which is very broadly defined to include physical, spiritual, emotional and cognitive aspects. Mindful of the controversies endemic to cancer prevention and treatment, we ask that both diarists and commenters keep an open mind regarding strategies for surviving cancer, whether based in traditional, Eastern, Western, allopathic or other medical practices. This is a club no one wants to join, in truth, and compassion will help us make it through the challenge together.