Insert stirring music here.
Our latest installment of trivia involving Republican Virginia Lt. Governor nominee and undisputed new head of the Republican insanity caucus E.W. Jackson
is brought to us from National Review's Betsy Woodruff, who appears to have gone to
great lengths to avoid saying Mr. Jackson is a loon while giving him as little actual praise as possible. This, of course, is why we love people who are contractually obligated to love E.W. Jackson—their dedication to the bit in the face of the obvious adversity of, well, having to prop up a loon. (Perhaps tellingly, Woodruff refers to him early on as "increasingly, an Internet celebrity", which puts him squarely in the company of Kai the hatchet wielding hitchhiker and that lady who does not have time for things.)
E. W. Jackson is the pastor of Exodus Faith Ministries (not to be confused with Exodus International, a controversial group that promotes “freedom from homosexuality through the power of Jesus Christ”).
So stipulated, yer honor. A church bulletin at the Ministries might remind the congregation that:
“Bishop’s weekly messages are full of meat that cannot be digested in one sitting. Therefore, it is important to listen to the recorded sermons over and over again so you can internalize what is being taught.”
Which is not at all where I thought that sentence would be going, after the undigestible meat bit. Much of the church's fundraising efforts appear to go to making sure the church can continue to reap the benefits of having the awesomeness of E.W. Jackson around:
An envelope inserted in the bulletin listed a number of different causes to which attendees could designate their offerings, including “Bishop’s Birthday,” “Bishop & 1st Lady Wedding Anniversary,” “Founder’s Week (& Too Much Blessing Seed)” and “Bishop’s Vacation,” as well as a few ministries, “General Pastoral Support,” and the building fund.
Gawd, I hope
Too Much Blessing Seed is not a euphemism for som—you know what, never mind, let's just drop it. Even his own 2008 religious book included a direct money ask:
For example, as you read this book, you may feel a deep spiritual affinity for the things I am teaching and therefore a profound spiritual kinship with me. We may never meet in person, but you can draw on the anointing which God has placed on my life by sowing into my ministry. That opens a spiritual door for you to partake at a deeper level and for me to impart to you as one in Covenant with me.
So, you know, partake of him and stuff. Just stay away from the
Too Much Blessing Seed.
He also hates America, which is something we had a whole little tizzy over in 2008 because everybody knows it's not OK for a black preacher to criticize America, but he puts caveats in there so leave him alone:
After criticizing American culture, which he described as degenerate, […]
“I hear people talk about karma all the time,” he said. “If you make it New Age, it’s okay! So if you want to call it God’s karma, go right ahead!” Another caveat: Jackson said he isn’t actually calling for God’s judgment on America.
At the same time, God only reserves his karma for very particular things, like Americans not hating gay people enough. If you want to, say, destroy the atmosphere of the entire planet taking the kids to soccer practice, don't worry about
that, God's got you covered:
“As if God’s gonna let mankind destroy the planet with SUV’s!” he cried. “It’s silly, when you think about it.”
He also reveals that he came to his current preaching career after waking up one morning, a change in his personality so sudden that it led his family to think he'd had a "nervous breakdown." Let the record show the family was almost certainly on to something.
Read the whole thing, as the kids say. You got time for that. If nothing else, do it just so you you can engage in a lively comment thread below as to whether Woodruff was tasked with painting a flattering portrait of the guy and just couldn't do it because she secretly hates him, or if this just is just the best anyone could do when tasked with writing about Sir E.W. Von Crazypants, now actual Republican candidate for something.