We went to court.
We were not arrested.
The attorney, Salsbury, lied when he said his secretary said K would go to prison if he didn't pay the "bill" in full. The judge said that would have been illegal if she had done that. The attorney THEN said, hand to Goddess, "Oh, we sometimes encourage our staff to threaten people like that to scare them into paying us."
Which, in my opinion? Is a stone cold admission of "yes, she said it, it's illegal, please don't sue us."
We were on time, went into the courtroom and I immediately turned around and went out: someone in there was wearing a gallon of "Eau de what the fuck IS that smell?" and it could have triggered my asthma. K stayed inside, until a few moments later when the courtroom emptied, and I, who had been leaning on the wall, across from the little desk, saw K come out, and tell me "Just like last time. We talk to Salsbury out here."
(Now recall: I had handwritten a letter to the judge about this whole mess, along with income statements showing we DON'T have an income, K's disability #, his being easily tired, and so on, and mailed it so the judge got it in plenty of time. It helped. A lot.)
We waited in the hallway. The rest of the cattle from the courtroom had stampeded out along with K, who he joined me at my side. Salsbury appeared, and talked to the two people who had been there when we arrived, Salsbury called "Next, please" and we started to move, but the cattle from the courtroom seemed to think that a queue didn't apply to them, and tried to cut us off. But I had my lariat ready; I walked forward, cut THEM off and said, "WE are next." The cattle stopped stampeding and looked for something to cud.
However, when Lawyer Salsbury saw it was us, he immediately jumped up and said, "The judge wants to see you, Mr. Muston, INSIDE the courtroom."
Whoa. Cool AND scary.
He ushered us into the now completely empty courtroom, said "I'll be right back" and vanished. We waited another few minutes. Then, the judge appeared and took his seat, along with his steno. Salsbury popped back in, looking... a tad nervous.
Judge Persin swore Kimit in, and when I tried to correct K's answer to one of the questions Salsbury asked, I was chided by the judge, who said "You are not his guardian and you have not been sworn in, so please be quiet." I was pissed but I shut my yap. Kimit, who had been sworn and could speak, said to the judge, "She's just trying to protect me."
I swear the judge glared at Salsbury. But, I had no idea which turn the judge was gonna take from there.
Until he asked Kimit to explain, "As well as you can for a gentleman who is in such OBVIOUS DISCOMFORT (this is when he definitely glared at Salsbury, who looked at his fingernails and said nothing) your side of this, what, six and a half year story?"
Kimit, who was utterly exhausted, in pain, and let's face it, frightened, said that nothing had changed since the last time we'd been there. We live on SSI and Food Stamps. The judge looked quite taken aback, and asked "But... how do you live on such a small amount?" Kimit said, "Furgalilly." The judge looked at me; NOW he wanted my cooperation. For the first time in my life (I think) I didn't poke the sleeping bear, and just said, "He means 'frugally'."
Judge Persin looked askance, but Kimit said, "Yes, that's right. She understands me."
Now Judge Persin was visibly disturbed, that this attorney and collection agency had been driving us INSANE for six years. He said to Salsbury, in a stern, judgey voice, "We will re-visit this situation in one year. BY PHONE, Mr. Salsbury, you are to CALL Mr. Muston and ask if anything has changed, because it is obviously very difficult for Mr. Muston to come all this way."
Salsbury looked like a smacked 5 year old. Good.
The judge set the phone-date and THEN he said, ON the record "So we all understand this, next year, if this case isn't dropped ENTIRELY (his emphasis, and he was looking at the lawyer) either call Mr. Muston or send a letter asking if anything has changed. DO NOT drag him downtown again for this... reason."
I'm pretty sure Judge Persin was thinking "fucked up reason" but he didn't say it (I believe saying stuff like that can get you kicked out of The Judge Club. Poof: "the tribe has spoken, and you're a potty mouth. Bye bye.")
I couldn't stop myself: at the last minute, I raised my hand. The judge nodded at me and said "Yes?" I said, "Judge, excuse me, but isn't it a violation of the code for an attorney's secretary to threaten my husband with prison if he didn't come here?"
Salsbury was on his feet, and said, "She did not say that!"
That popped it: "I HEARD her say it to him, so don't even go there!"
And then he said what I wrote in the intro to this: "Oh, we sometimes encourage our staff to threaten people like that to scare them into paying us."
Can anyone say, "perjury"??? Salsbury burbled on about how it would be "illegal" for her to have made such a statement, but I saw the writing on the judge:
He just wanted us to shut up and go home and I don't blame him, (but you don't call me a liar in open court and get a lolly for it).
The judge (who's name really is "Persin") saw what had been going on and was very uncomfortable with the fact that he let Salsbury fudge the truth about the secretary threatening K with prison, and we had our awkward moment, but then we beat feet.
So, we're still here. Chas v'chalilah. I will write more of our action-packed adventures (you know, for an ex-athlete and a gimp, we get into an awful lot of action packed adventures) on Tuesday.
Tomorrow, right? Or not. I am extremely pooped, it's after 11 and my bones ache.
(Okay, it's Tuesday night now, and I am mooooooooooey tired, but I will start back with K and the skeery adventures at The Asylum on Thursday.)
But: Thanks, thanks, thanks, for listening and supporting, and letting me vent about this kinda tangential topic. It really did scare me.
I am going to take a nap now.
See ya Thursday! I hope!).