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Last night, Stephen Colbert took his turn after John Oliver did it last week by excoriating Fox News's Neil Cavuto as only Stephen can for making light of how fast food workers and minimum wage workers are being treated, and had on SEIU president Mary Kay Henry to discuss the situation.

Nation, it pains me that in a country with such wealth as ours, there are still so many in poverty.  And it pains me even more when those people won't stop whining about it.  "I want a union!  I want safety regulations!  I need all my fingers!"  And now that whining is coming with a side of fries.
GAYLE KING, CBS (8/1/2013): Walkouts by fast food workers are spreading around the country.  This week thousands of employees have gone on strike for a day.  The movement is about money.

DANA PERINO (7/30/2013): Employees from McDonald's, Wendy's, and other chains want their wages doubled from the federal minimum wage of $7.25 an hour to $15 bucks.

$15 dollars an hour!  What do they think, those arches are made of gold?  I mean, folks, the consequences of a wage increase are horrifying to contemplate.  At last count, there are 3.6 million front-line cashiers, cooks, and crew in America's fast food industry.  A living wage would eliminate 3.6 million poor people!  That's the kind of thing Hitler used to talk about!  If only someone had been around to give him a Happy Meal!

And I'm not the only one with maximum rage over the minimum wage.  So is Fox News anchor and burst-tube of Pillsbury crescent rolls (audience laughter) Neil Cavuto, who made them the subject of his latest Old Fogey Alert.

NEIL CAVUTO (7/30/2013): Did I ever tell you when I was a kid, you'd be grateful for any job you could find?  And now a lot of kids are just the opposite, turning up their noses at fast food jobs that go begging at $11 bucks an hour. ... Only in America, can our politicians bemoan a livable wage, forgetting a lot of folks would be grateful for any wage, any chance, any job, anytime.
Yes, unlike these fast food workers, Neil and I aren't fixated on our hourly wage.  I don't even know what I make in an hour; that many zeros gives me vertigo.  So I want to support my friend Neil in my new segment, Rich White Guys Agreeing With Each Other.

(audience cheering)

Folks, if you're out of work, you get up off your sesame seed buns, and take anything you can get.  Just listen to Neil's inspiring story.

NEIL CAVUTO (7/30/2013): All I know is as soon as I turned 16 and heard that a fast food chain called Arthur Treacher's was opening a store in my town of Danbury, Connecticut ... I stood in a line for a position — any position.  I got the job, and soon rocketed to relief manager, then weekend manager, then by the tender age of 16 1/2 years old: full-time manager!  Yeah, it's true.  It all started at $2 bucks an hour.
You hear that, strikers?  Neil made $2 dollars an hour at age 16, and somehow still paid his rent and fed his kids.

And you know folks, I know where Neil's coming from.  Because when I was young, I had a low-paying job losing teeth for a living.  (audience laughter and applause)  But with hard work, and a little dumpster diving outside a hockey rink, I turned it into a profitable business, and today you may know that tooth-loss business as The Colbert Report.  (audience cheering and applause)  I just wish I knew who that magical tooth fairy was, so I could thank her for making me financially independent from my parents.  But try telling that to the working lazy.

Video below the fold.

Stephen also talked about how his Tuesday night show went viral after Daft Punk cancelled on him, leading to one of the most incredible episodes ever.
Stephen then looked at how the SEC has gone after Goldman Sachs trader Fabrice Tourre for defrauding clients out of at least $1 million dollars.
Meanwhile, John Oliver looked at how the various world leaders of Russia, Egypt, Italy, and Great Britain are faring now.
John then looked at how the Discovery Channel showed a fake documentary about a monster shark in preparation for Shark Week.
Stephen interviewed actor Ashton Kutcher about his new role playing Steve Jobs in the biopic, and John interviewed actress Lake Bell.

Originally posted to BruinKid on Thu Aug 08, 2013 at 05:00 AM PDT.

Also republished by Electronic America: Progressives Film, music & Arts Group.

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