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There are a great many things that the conservative brain just can't seem to wrap itself around.

First and foremost is the presidency of Barack Obama.

How this foreign born, Sharia-loving, rodeo clown-hating Marxist ever got elected once (let alone twice) is well beyond the grasp of your average Republican town hall attendee (Hint: it involves the use of a green screen and Photoshop).

Besides this concrete example, there are various abstract concepts that tend to confound GOPers, among them: crime; economics; moderation; science; fair elections; compromise; media bias; hypocrisy; polling; racism; and irony.

And don't even get them started on impeachment.

Morning lineup:

Meet the Press: NYC Police Commissioner Ray Kelly; Sen. Jack Reed (D-RI); Sen. Kelly Ayotte (R-NH); Politics Roundtable: Former White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs, Rich Lowry (National Review), Rep. Donna Edwards (D-MD) and Chuck Todd (NBC News); Race Roundtable=: Trayvon Martin’s Mother Sybrina Fulton, Martin Family Lawyer Benjamin Crump and Ben Jealous (NAACP).

Face the Nation: Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC); Rep. Jackie Speier (D-CA); NYC Police Commissioner Ray Kelly; Rep. Bob Goodlatte (R-VA); Rep. Bobby Scott (D-VA); Roundtable: Amy Walter (Cook Political Report), Bobby Ghosh (TIME) and Republican Strategist Kevin Madden.

This Week: NYC Police Commissioner Ray Kelly; Sen. Bob Corker (R-TN); Rep. Eliot Engel (D-NY); RNC Chairman Reince Priebus; Roundtable: Rep. Keith Ellison (D-MN), Former White House Senior Adviser David Plouffe, Former Hewlett-Packard CEO Carly Fiorina and Bill Kristol (Weekly Standard).

Fox News Sunday: Sen. Rand Paul (R-KY); Rep. Pete King (R-NY); Sen. Richard Blumenthal (D-CT); Roundtable: Republican Strategist Karl Rove, Former Sen. Evan Bayh (D-IN), Kimberly Strassel (Wall Street Journal) and Former Rep. Dennis Kucinich (D-OH).

State of the Union: Sen. John McCain (R-AZ); Former US Ambassador to Egypt Ned Walker; Middle East Analyst Jon Alterman; Rep. Justin Amash (R-MI); Rep. Chris Van Hollen (D-MD); Roundtable: Grover Norquist (American for Tax Reform), Democratic Strategist Donna Brazile, Democratic Strategist Mo Elleithee and Conservative Radio Host Cheri Jacobus

Evening lineup:
60 Minutes will feature: a report on documents leaked by Alex Rodriguez implicating fellow NY Yankees Ryan Braun and Francisco Cervelli (preview); a report on the Robin Hood Foundation, which has given more than $1.25 billion dollars to New York's neediest over the years (preview); and, an interview with a former Danish spy who claims to have played a crucial role in the controversial CIA drone strike that killed Anwar Al Awlaki (preview).

On Comedy Central...

During his last week as guest host, John Oliver examined the "facts of urban life" in the wake of the ruling that "stop and frisk" is unconstitutional.

And in what some are calling one of his best segments ever, Stephen Colbert examined how Vicco, Kentucky's "simple hillfolk" are reacting to their Mayor's pro-gay policies.

Note: The Daily Show  and The Colbert Report will be airing reruns this week.

Elsewhere...

Missouri state legislator Paul Wieland filed suit in federal court over his daughters' right to pay a lot for that muffler.

The St. Louis Post-Dispatch reports:
Wieland said they were seeking a personal exemption from the contraception requirement, not a blanket ruling against the law. But he said a victory would give the same right to other, like-minded people.

"I see abortion-inducing drugs as intrinsically evil, and I cannot in good conscience preach one thing to my kids and then just go with the flow on our insurance," said Rep. Wieland, who has three daughters. "This is a moral conundrum for me. Do I just cancel the coverage and put my family at risk? I don’t believe in what the government is doing."

To be clear, the HHS mandate does not cover "abortion-inducing" drugs—only contraception—so Wieland doesn't need to worry that he or the women in his family will be tempted into aborting pregnancies like they're kids playing Space Invaders. Of course, it is common in anti-choice circles now to call drugs that suppress ovulation "abortion-inducing" (which is like saying you're "quitting" a job you didn't even apply to), so this is likely what he's discussing. However he wishes to contextualize it, however, the fact remains: Wieland is suing the federal government so that he and his family members personally get charged more for birth control than everyone else.

Meanwhile...

In a legal brief defending its new voting laws, the state of Texas argued that charges of racism are without merit... because the '60s!

You see, Republicans in the state of Texas are trying to keep the Department of Justice from overseeing their new voting laws by claiming that yes, the GOP gerrymandering within the state in 2011 did seek to disenfranchise Democrats. However, they're claiming it did so only along partisan party lines—not racial. They freely admit their redistricting plans were meant to weaken the voting power of a political party, they just insist those redistricting maps had nothing to do with race. So that's evidence that their strict new voting laws can’t possibly be about keeping minorities from voting—just Democrats.

Yes, believe it or not, that argument is actually a large part of their defense. They admit that they blatantly redrew districts to weaken the Democratic vote in Texas, but it was done so along partisan lines—not racial.

Oh, but it gets even more ridiculous.

Another part of Texas' argument seems to be that even if their new voting laws do happen to disenfranchise minorities—it's really not that big of a deal. Because the events of the 1960′s were much worse.

And, finally...

Former Washington Post ombudsman Patrick Pexton urged new owner Jeff Bezos to flush Jennifer Rubin down the crapper.

Her columns, at best, are political pornography; they get a quick but sure rise out of the right, but you feel bad afterward.

And she is often wrong, and rarely acknowledges it. She was oh-so-wrong about Mitt Romney, week after week writing embarrassing flattery about his 2012 campaign, calling almost every move he made brilliant, and guaranteeing that he would trounce Barack Obama. When he lost, the next day she savaged him and his campaign with treachery, saying he was the worst candidate with the worst staff, ever.

And so it goes.

- Trix

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