From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
A Brief and Timely Rebuttal
After President Obama's speech on August 28 to commemorate the 50th anniversary of the 1963 March for Jobs and Freedom in Washington, MSNBC's Chris Matthews said it was "great," but he was waiting for "a proposal, something concrete" from the president that would help create American jobs. You mean like this one, Chris? From September, 2011…
He even gave a speech
about it, remember?
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American Jobs Act
To create jobs, the President unveiled the American Jobs Act---nearly all of which is made up of ideas that have been supported by both Democrats and Republicans, and that Congress should pass right away to get the economy moving now. The purpose of the American Jobs Act is simple: put more people back to work and put more money in the pockets of working Americans. And it would do so without adding a dime to the deficit.
You mean
that kind of "proposal," Chris? The kind of jobs proposal that the Congressional Budget Office says
is okeley dokeley with them? The jobs proposal that looked so promising that House Republicans dropped everything (including their golf clubs) so they could toss it in the shredder ASAP, lest Obama get a smidgen of credit on jobs? You mean that kind of proposal
…CHRIS??!!!!
There. Better. It's good to get these things out before they fester and cause a massive surge of high-frequency blogger brain waves that disrupt our power grid and telecommunications systems. My threshold is 14 days. Catastrophe averted.
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Wednesday, September 11, 2013
Note: Tonight Mama June gets civil-unioned to Sugar Bear, followed by pasketti with ketchup. If you know what that means, I feel sorry for you. But if you know that I know what that means---and that I'll have a box of hankies nearby when it happens---you know that's your cue to drop a giant anvil on my house at your earliest convenience. I'm officially a lost cause.
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4 days!!!
By the Numbers:
Days 'til Daylight Saving Time ends:
53
Days 'til the
CSBarks Dog Festival---now with dock diving!---in Carol Stream Illinois:
4
Number of sea turtles that arrived on Nicaragua's pacific coast in July/August of 2012 and 2013, respectively:
21,350 / 2,000
(Source:
The Portland Press Herald)
Birthrate for teens 15-19 in 2012, the lowest since 1940:
29.4 per 1,000 teen girls
(Source: National Center for Health Statistics)
Percent of Americans who thought in 2001 that the Afghanistan war was the right thing to do:
92%
Percent who think the war was worth it today:
28%
(Source: Washington Post-ABC News poll)
Number of legal pot stores that will open by June, 2014 in Washington state:
334
(Source: McClatchy)
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Mid-week Rapture Index: 187 (including 3 Food Supplies and 1 impatient gopher). Soul Protection Factor 24 lotion is recommended if you’ll be walking amongst the heathen today.
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Memo to the owner: she's not "dumb as a stump." She's just a puppy.
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JEERS to the 9/11 of 9/11s. And here we are once again. That day. That date. Ugh. But at least the guy who made it such a horrible moment in our national consciousness (Saddam Hussein, right?) finally met his fate in the raid of the century. A few questions I still ask myself from time to time:
Rising like a middle-finger
salute to al Qaeda.
When Glenn Beck---one of the most respected figures in the Republican party---said, "When I see a 9/11 victim family on television, or whatever, I'm just like, 'Oh shut up!' I'm so sick of them because they're always complaining," why wasn't he banished into obscurity?
When Ann Coulter---one of the most respected figures in the Republican party---said, "These broads are millionaires, lionized on TV and in articles about them, reveling in their status as celebrities and stalked by grief-arazzis. I've never seen people enjoying their husbands' deaths so much," why wasn't she banished into obscurity?
When Jerry Falwell got on TV with Pat Robertson and said, "I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People For the American Way, all of them who have tried to secularize America. I point the finger in their face and say 'you helped this happen'," why weren't they defrocked and shunned for the rest of their lives?
Do Republicans today remember anything about 9/11 except "Benghazi?"
And: I wonder how the 9/11 hijackers reacted when they found out the 72 virgins they met in the afterlife had orders from Mohammed to beat them with shoes for eternity? We'll never know. But I bet it was a Kodak moment.
CHEERS to a happy 9/11 remembrance. Five years ago, on September 11, 2008, presidential candidate John McCain praised his living, breathing millstone around his neck running mate in terms that launched a thousand "WTFs":
"[Sarah Palin] knows more about energy than probably anyone else in the United States of America. ... And, uh, she also happens to represent, be governor of a state that's right next to Russia."
It was a carefully crafted dog whistle message to the masses: vote for me and we're toast.
My latest self-portrait
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[Cautious] CHEERS to a way forward. I'm thinking that maybe I can let out a tentative sigh of relief this morning, thanks to President Obama's
address to the nation last night that kinda sorta spelled out a possible solution to punishing Syria's leadership for using WMDs on its own citizens, while also theoretically making the world a safer place overall. It partially makes sense, partially doesn't make sense, but in the end I sorta see what Obama's trying to do, so I think I actually endorse his plan on a provisional basis unless new information comes in that might cause me to reconsider my position.
And that's final!!!
CHEERS to de primary outcome. I was tempted to do de obvious thing and blurt out de name of de candidate who won de Democratic primary for de mayor's race in de city of New York. But then I got to thinkin', "Hey, why don't I have a little fun and make de C&J crowd guess who de victor is in de Big Apple on de east coast? It could be just de thing to get de cobwebs out of de brain first thing in de morning. Yeah---that's de ticket! So de ball's in your court. No fair Googling de answer, but I'll give you a hint: it's Bill [blank] Blasio. Good luck finding de answer!
JEERS to The Three Stooges starring in "I Want My Mummy!" True fact: Republican Congressdolts Michele Bachmann, Louie Gohmert and Steve King are banned from traveling to 80 percent of the world's countries because of their ability to dumb down huge swaths of population before the damage can be contained. Unfortunately, Egypt is not one of those countries (a clerical error that is being rectified), so that's where the terrible trio decided to make their own version of Movietone News:
President Bachmann, VP Gohmert
and Sec. of State King. Ha Ha Ha!
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Gohmert compared the man now running Egypt, Gen. Abdel Fattah al-Sisi, to George Washington and said the “bloodthirsty Muslim Brothers” want to “destabilize things” and seek “that large caliphate.”
The video is largely being panned by the American media. Fisher calls the video a "doozy," Business Insider's Brett Logiurato calls the video "bizarre, to say the least," and the New York Times quotes political scientists who "called the lawmakers’ statements 'utterly absurd' and compared the conference to 'a ‘Saturday Night Live’ skit---unbelievable, ludicrous, almost comic if it wasn’t so painful.'"
Their return trip was delayed by several hours when emergency crews were called to Gohmert's hotel bathroom, where they used the
Jaws of Life to pry him out of a bidet.
CHEERS to great moments in music. On September 11, 1962, The Beatles recorded their first singles for EMI, including the ditty "Love Me Do." Or as it's called today, the hairdressers' national anthem.
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Five years ago in C&J: September 11, 2008
JEERS to my little tiny pea brain. I'm just a simple caveman, so please help me understand the bombshell that dropped yesterday afternoon. If I'm reading this correctly (and I'm probably not because cavemen typically only understand crude cave drawings), government officials exchanged oil for sex. Here's where I'm confused: was it canola or olive? (We can probably rule out extra-virgin, that's for sure...)
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And just one more…
Kos with Colbert. If benevolent dictator
is happy, everybody's happy.
CHEERS to a bright spot on an otherwise somber day. Be sure to take a moment to face Berkeley, California and shout, "Lordy, Lordy, look who's forty...something!" Yes indeed, our malevolent kingmaker and current troll slayer, Markos Moulitsas Zuniga, turns another year wiser, and we wish him many blessings on his camels. On behalf of the C&J community, I got him the usual gifts: new star pin for his Che beret, new pair of jackboots, and a renewal of his subscription to
Popular Hispanic Hippie Commie Pinko Socialist Libtard Moonbat Vegetarian Cyclists Monthly. It's the least we could do. So that's what we did.
Have a Wednesday that treats you with respect, intelligence and kindness. Or as I like to call it, a liberal day. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
More than 120 years after Vincent van Gogh's death, a new painting by the Dutch master has come to light. The Van Gogh Museum in Amsterdam, which holds the largest collection of the artist's work, announced Monday the discovery of the newly identified painting, a landscape titled "Sunset in Cheers and Jeers."
---CNN
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