I hope everyone is having a relaxing evening numbing the memories of the work day away so you have room for new horrors tomorrow.
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I tried to buy an AR-15 assault rifle but the nice man at the gun store said I wasn't insane enough.
So guys are trying to make WhiteMan Thursday a thing now? Just a heads up, it's been WhiteMan Thursday since there's been Thursday.
When I quit my job my going out move will be putting fish in one microwave and popcorn in the other and setting the timer at 20 minutes.
Having a hard time breaking up with your girlfriend? Buy her a Hitachi Magic Wand & just slip away into the night.
Not sure how this happened but somehow my life's ambition is to flank Floyd Mayweather as he walks to the ring.
I don't care what chorizo is made out of. I just want to thank it.