From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
The Affordable Care Act is socialized medicine!But nice try.
(Except it's not. Though I wish it was.)
The public was notified quickly after that 800,000-gallon oil spill in North Dakota.
(Except it wasn't.)The earth is cooling.This front page was not a myth.
(Except it's not.)
John Boehner has made good on his promise to focus like a laser on jobs, jobs, jobs.
(Except he hasn't, hasn't, hasn't.)
Social Security is going broke, it adds to the deficit, and we have to raise the retirement age because people are living longer.
(Except it's not, it doesn't and we don't.)
We can't try terrorist suspects on American soil!
(Except we can.)
The Affordable Care Act is a "job killer."
(Except "it's not.")
Repealing the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy in 2011 caused a drop in enlistments, hurt unit cohesion, compromised national security and lowered troop morale.
(Except No, No, No and No.)
Free birth control leads to more abortions and higher health care costs.
(Except it doesn't.)
Sarah Palin has become smart enough that she doesn't need to write crib notes on her hand during public functions anymore.
(Except, yeah…she does.)
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Wednesday, October 16, 2013
Note: Today is Dictionary Day. Look it up.
Days 'til we hit the debt ceiling: 1
Days 'til the Collinsville Main Street Fall Festival in Illinois: 10
Percent of Americans in the "political center" who support or strongly support the legalization of marijuana: 52%
Percent of the center who feel religion should have no role in politics: 59%
(Source: Esquire-NBC News poll)
Estimated year by which the whole world will regularly experience "off-the-charts" hot temperatures: 2047
(Source: University of Hawaii study published in Nature)
Number of haunted houses that charge admission in the U.S.: 1,200
Number of times a year's worth of candy corn production would circle the moon if laid end to end: 21
MLB Championship Playoffs
Boston Red Sox lead Detroit Tigers 2 games to 1
St. Louis Cardinals lead L.A. Dodgers 3 games to 1
Puppy Pic of the Day: I bet after Wyatt eats he goes "Urp!"
CHEERS to a green green green green world. Pardon me for not leaping straight into the Congressional freak show, but there's something exciting going on in the world of clean energy R&D. Or, to be more accurate, somethings exciting:
New research released Monday found there has been an explosion in renewable energy patents in the past decade. In the U.S., renewable energy patents surpassed 1,000 annually in 2009. During the period between 1975-2000, in contrast, the number was below 200 per year. … The study, released in the journal PLoS One, said the recent data revealed a "marked departure from historical trends."Of course, if the shutdown continues for much longer the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office will have to close its doors. Which totally spoils the moment, so let's just move on to….
Worldwide, solar and wind patents are among the fastest growing, with average annual growth rates of 13 percent and 19 percent, respectively.
JEERS to living in hell's hand basket. Good untethered-mooring, America! We are now mere hours from earning our official certification as a banana republic! Please panic and loot responsibly, and no eating people unless absolutely necessary (and certainly not as a between-meal snack). But if you must, please use this handy tutorial as a guide:
CHEERS to the next senator from New Jersey. It's an oddball Wednesday special election day in the Springsteen State (smooth move, Christie), but there's a big prize sitting at the end of it. Pollsters predict Cory Booker will be elevated from Newark mayor to United States Senator. His challenger is a Republican, and therefore the beneficiary of sleazy tactics like this:
The official Twitter account of the Republican National Committee on Monday published a tweet encouraging New Jersey voters to go out and vote in the special Senate election on Tuesday. Thing is, the election is Wednesday. …Tooootally. Republicans never tell voters to vote on the wrong day. Never never ever. Oh, well. I just hope the guy she's workin' for gives an eloquent, low-key concession speech tonight. Whining makes our dog pee on the rug.
Kirsten Kukowski, press secretary for the Republican National Committee, sent the following to TPM in an email on Monday. "We deleted and corrected it. Put this into perspective---the RNC is trying to get people to vote – civic duty, and you are clowning us online because we were a day off. Not to mention this particular election is a Wednesday and not a Tuesday. This is extremely ridiculous."
CHEERS to battling to a backbeat. Can't let today go by without looking back a year to the night Mitt Romney got pummeled by both President Obama and his own clumsy self. Who can forget "binders full of women," "Please proceed, Governor" and "Can you say that a little louder, Candy?" Enjoy what even George Will called "immeasurably the best debate in 50 years"…songified:
That was the moment when Republicans got up from their chairs, opened their windows, and quietly switched places with Democrats on building ledges across America. Somewhere overhead, a pigeon's bowels rumbled.
CHEERS to a beautiful batch of broads. Nancy Pelosi and the late Betty Ford are among the nine worthy women inducted recently into the Women's Hall of Fame:
Founded in 1969, the National Women’s Hall of Fame is the nation’s oldest membership organization recognizing the achievements of great American women. Inductees are selected every other year based on their lasting contributions to society through the arts, athletics, business, education, government, humanities, philanthropy and science. From a group of over 100 completed nominations, an independent national panel of judges conducted a rigorous scoring process and selected nine women for Induction.As usual, the inductees will receive 77 percent of what the new inductees in the Men's Hall of Fame are getting.
JEERS to Dubya as usual. The 43rd president said the invasion would be a cakewalk…that it would be quick and easy and he'd be greeted as liberator. Instead it turned into a quagmire resulting in a grueling slog that cost a lot more than expected and was much worse than he originally predicted. No, not in Iraq. In his own cardiovascular system. And as he was recuperating in a private hospital recovery suite all I could think was: it took him a decade, but by god Bush finally found a way to get people to greet him with sweets and flowers.
Five years ago in C&J: October 16, 2008
CHEERS to "fundamental disagreements." If that was your drinking-game phrase, you're probably still passed out on your living room floor this morning. If, however, your drinking-game phrase was "Joe the Plumber," I'll send flowers to your funeral. Here are some of my blow-by-blow thoughts on last night's debate at Hofstra University:
Barack Obama wore a flag pin. John McCain did not. According to my Republican Handbook, that means the white-haired guy is a terrorist.The Portland Press Herald's headline sums it up: "McCain Goes On Attack, Obama Fires Right Back." But the real winner of the night was the wisdom of Bob Schieffer's mom: "Go vote now. It'll make ya feel big and strong." Especially in your deltoids.
I think it's safe to say that Joe is the most famous plumber in America this morning, having burst on the national scene last night like a supernova. I expect to see Joe the Plumber mugs, shirts and doggie kerchiefs on Café Press, and a reality series on Bravo by noon.
John McCain wants to take either a hatchet or a scalpel to everything. Does he really know what job he's auditioning for?
And just one more… [DOODY WORDS! NOT SAFE FOR WORK!]
CHEERS to rhetorical justice. Of all the cast members who ever set foot on the Whose Line Is It Anyway? stage, Greg Proops was always my favorite. So I was happy to see him weigh in on the recent crazier-than-usual ramblings of Antonin Scalia. It's gavel-pounding good. You can read snippets of Greg's rant here. But if you want to see it in all its NOT SAFE FOR WORK glory, here ya go…
Oh, the devil exists, alright. And he's dressed in black with alfredo sauce running down his chin.
Have a nice Wednesday. Watch Michigan---a judge may approve marriage equality there today. (Cummerbunds crossed!) Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:-
"Depending on where snark formed in the protoplanetary disk, its carbon-to-oxygen ratio could differ from that of the host blog. It could be higher or lower. But based on what we know at this point, Cheers and Jeers is more of a 'diamond in the rough.'"
---Johanna Teske, University of Arizona