From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
"Calling All Netroots Elves…"
Starts December 5.
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Thank you, Netroots Nation Holiday Bazaar Online Auction! Thank you for giving us something to think about besides all the shitty shit dominating the news cycle these days. Oh, thank you.
Yes, it's that holly jolly time of year again. The legendary holiday bazaar auction to help offset costs associated with the annual Netroots Nation conference (Detroit this year July 17-20) starts in a couple weeks, and they're now accepting your items to put on the block. To give you an idea of what they're looking for, past bazaar items have included:
Yes, Virginia, there is bacon toffee
made with a whole pound of bacon.
• Quilted pillows and throws
• Woodwork
• Books, DVDs
• War on Christmas fruitcake catapults
• Prints and posters and artwork, oh my
• Holiday ornaments, stockings and decorations
• Hand-dipped candles
• A signed work of plagiarism by Rand Paul
• Embossed note cards
• Custom made jewelry
• Pootie pads and other petccesories
• Knitted hats and scarves
• Hand-crocheted afghans
• Autographs and political collectibles
• Ted Cruz's fake birth certificate dunked in glitter
• Holiday cookies, truffles, fudge & other bakedliciousness
Say co-chairs Beth Becker, Joan McCarter and Linda Lee in angelic unison: "Donating to our holiday auction catalog is a great way to support our Netroots Nation fundraising effort. To submit an item, you'll be asked to provide some basic information about the item you would like to donate, preferably with a pic. We'll contact you via e-mail after the item has been reviewed."
To post info about your donation, click here to go to the auction web site. If you have any questions, e-mail Karen Kolber at Karen[at]netrootsnation.org.
Auction opens for bids on December 5th. Many thanks and Ho Ho Ho.
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, November 19, 2013
Note: BRE KI G! Somebody broke our neon "Breaking" sign. F lm at 11.
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Xmas for the 1 Percent.
By the Numbers:
Days 'til a whole bunch of retail employees don’t get Thanksgiving off like they have for the past 2 million years:
9
Days 'til the start of
Christmas at the Newport Mansions in Rhode Island:
4
Number of black/white marriages in the U.S. according to the 2010 census:
558,000
Percent of 23-29 year-olds who moved to another town in the 12 months ending last March:
23.3%
The last year that so few young adults moved:
1963
(Source: Census Bureau via AP)
Percent by which New York City's homeless shelter population increased during the Bloomberg administration:
65%
(Source:
Harper's Index)
Cost of an
"American Gothikkah" print from moderntribe.com commemorating the union this year of Thanksgiving and Hanukkah:
$18
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Tuesday Words of Wisdom from the Right-wing Blogosphere:
You can keep laughing at me if you want. That is your prerogative. This stuff is in black and white for everyone to see yet some just don’t want to take it seriously. What I would kindly suggest is that you take a serious look at your self-defense capabilities. So here is my take. Guns and ammo are the most important thing by far. If you have firepower then you can hunt for food. But good luck fighting off the bad guys with that freeze dried lasagna.
---Dean Garrison at Free Republic
All together now: 1…2…3…
Ha Ha Ha Ha!
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Puppy Pic of the Day: I clicked on this thinking it was about a dog and a beer. Oh well. I was only off by one letter...
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CHEERS to things I can cross off my bucket list this morning:
I keep my list
in this bucket.
Witness the Cheney empire implode as an inter-family brawl over the gays leaves a swath of destruction from Wyoming to Virginia.
Live to see former Pakistan dictator Perves Musharraf tried for treason.
See the fully-staffed National Labor Relations Board go after Walmart for "widespread violations of its workers’ rights."
Check, check and…check! Next item on my list: "Take a spin in the hadron collider." Have crash helmet, will travel!
CHEERS to the good old days, when Republicans made some sense. This is a big day in the annals of bigdayery. On November 19, 1863---150 years ago---President Lincoln delivered the Gettysburg Address as he dedicated a national cemetery at the Pennsylvania battlefield. I read these words every year and their simple elegance makes me appreciate them a little more each time:
This is either Lincoln or Daniel Day-Lewis.
I can never tell them apart.
Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.
Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.
But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate -- we can not consecrate -- we can not hallow -- this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us -- that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion -- that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain -- that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom -- and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.
If only today's politicians could be that brilliantly brief. But if you still don’t have time to read it all, here's the Dilbert-approved
Power Point Presentation of the speech. 150 years later we haven't perished, but Lincoln would probably be mighty pissed at all the secession talk flying around. I'd pay good money to see him turn Rick Perry over his knee and give him a good old-fashioned spankin'.
JEERS to a city gone Loonie. My god, what's happening to you gentle souls up there in Canada, eh? One day you're the planet's role models of Molson-fueled civility, and the next you're electing a thick-necked, foul-mouthed, crack-smoking stick of dynamite as mayor of your largest city. And your solution? Why, light the fuse, of course…
And what the fuck
is THIS, you guys?
Toronto's City Council voted Monday to strip embattled Mayor Rob Ford of most of his powers after a tumultuous meeting in which Ford vowed "outright war" in response. … "If you think American-style politics is nasty, you guys have just attacked Kuwait," he said to groans and laughter in the council chambers. "And you will never see something---mark my words, my friends, this is going to be outright war in the next election, and I am going to do everything in my power to beat you guys."
Then Ford grabbed a council woman, scaled CN Tower and started swatting at planes. Off in the distance, Ted Cruz watched it all through his binoculars. And took notes. Lots and lots of notes.
CHEERS to good advice. As the Republicans and the traditional media pile on the rollout of the Affordable Care Act (aided and abetted by the below-the-radar shenanigans of the Koch brothers), Zerlina Maxwell at the Feministing blog says: Forget the headlines…
The GOP offers the attractive "Red" plan.
Here are 5 fundamental facts about Obamacare
1) [F]or people who are uninsured who want to avoid the $95 penalty, you have until March 31st to sign up. Only the people who want coverage beginning on January 1st, have to sign up by December 15th.
2) People didn’t sign up for Romneycare in the first month either.
3) Having health insurance is life changing.
4) Republican critics of the Obamacare rollout are full of it.
5) Democrats shouldn’t forget why we fought so hard to get Obamacare passed.
I would add a #6. It would read: See #4.
We hear President
Garfield loved lasagna.
CHEERS to President Blinkandyoullmisshim. Happy birthday to "#20"
James Garfield, born 182 years ago today in a log cabin---the last president to have that distinction. He only got to enjoy his status as the first left-handed Commander-in-Chief for 200 days before he died of lead poisoning from an assassin's bullet that doctors could never find. He might've actually been a decent president, who knows? But I do know this:
shaaaame on him and running mate Chester Arthur for using $400,000 in campaign money to bribe Indiana voters with two-dollar bills. Why, that could've eroded the public's trust in politicians.
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Five years ago in C&J: November 19, 2008
CHEERS to a small gathering of friends in an intimate setting. Barack Obama's inauguration is expected to draw 4,000,000 (yes, that's billion with an m) people. The Park Service assured organizers that they'll be ready for the unprecedented crush of people by setting up at least ten Port-O-Potties.
I would've gone
with Judge Judy.
CHEERS to the new [
oo-wacka-ooh-wacka-ooh... SOCK! POW!] Supercop! Barack Obama has picked nominee for Attorney General, and I'm perusing the choice now:
Not named Ashcroft.
Not named Gonzales.
Not named Mukasey.
Jerome Corsi, author of Obama Nation can't stand him.
Okay, then. He's perfect. Whoever he is.
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And just one more…
DOUBLE JEERS to redundant redundancy. The late-night joke writers are slipping into groupthink, I think I think. Examples from just last week last week:
Jimmy Fallon: A lot of couples are planning on getting married tomorrow because the date will be 11/12/13. … Of course, their wedding guests will always remember it, mainly because the couple made them come to a wedding on a Tuesday.
Craig Ferguson: People wanted to be married on 11/12/13. Because who doesn't love getting invited to a wedding on a Tuesday?
Craig Ferguson: It's a big day if you're into numerology: 11/12/13. You know what that means? Nothing.
Jimmy Kimmel: It is a special date today. Today is November 12, 2013, or 11/12/13. You realize what that means, right? It means nothing.
Conan O'Brien: It is Veterans Day. A 107-year-old veteran met with President Obama this morning. It was good to see the president finally getting along so well with John McCain.
Jay Leno: Happy Veterans Day. President Obama today honored our oldest living veteran, who is 107 years old. So congratulations to Senator John McCain.
Tsk Tsk.
Have a nice Twosday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
Cheers and Jeers is good for you, a new study says. Wait, no, Cheers and Jeers is actually not that good for you, a newer study says. It is simultaneously the cause of and the cure to everything.
---Melissa Dahl, TodayHealth.
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