From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
Late Night…[Urrrrp!!!]…Snark
"It's that special time of year when your whole family gathers together in one place to look at their cellphones."
---Jimmy Kimmel
Dear God: This would be your
cue to unleash a plague of
locusts on the Walton family.
"These bins are for Wal-Mart employees to donate [food] to other employees. And where can Wal-Mart's low-wage workers find cheap food to donate? Wal-Mart. Anyone can afford food there…except people who work at Wal-Mart."
---Stephen Colbert
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"Freshman Congressman Trey Radel of Florida has been arrested for possession of cocaine in Washington, D.C. He admitted he is an alcoholic and pled guilty to possession of cocaine. The judge sentenced him to four years as mayor of Toronto."
---Jay Leno
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"Just as some people are dog people and others are cat people, some have a chip in their brain to be Democrats and others to be Republicans. We have Kennedy, you have Reagan. We have marijuana, you have Metamucil. We want gays in the military, you want them in the airport restroom."
---Bill Maher
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"The Oxford Dictionary has named 'selfie' the word of the year, narrowly beating out 'twerk.' In a related story, the funeral for the English language is this Saturday.
---Conan O'Brien
And one year ago:
"You've been warned, Harry Reid! Take away Mitch McConnell's filibuster and he will strike back by obstructing everything you do! Or let him keep the filibuster so he can obstruct everything you do!"
---Stephen Colbert
This is an abbreviated C&J, but I've cleared it with DK, Inc.---aka the industry known as Big Kos---to make this an unofficial "Ask Me Anything" post. I'm highly unprepared to unleash a mighty trickle of knowledge and wisdom upon you by answering any questions you might have about anything. Home repair, food, relationships, going Galt, mutant creatures living under your house, blogger etiquette, molecular biology...I know most everything about making shit up about anything, and tonight I'm willing to prove it. One small caveat: I don't know a thing about what the hell's going on at this web site.
Keep in mind that the longer the evening wears on, the less coherent my answers will be. So please allow those with urgent medical needs to go first.
Oh, and as a total trainwreck segue: don’t forget to round up some goodies---edibles, knittables, readables, playables, wearables, HoHoHoables, collectibles, etceterables---this weekend and put 'em on the auction block at the 5th annual Netroots Nation Online Holiday Bazaar, which starts Thursday. If you have any questions, e-mail Karen Kolber at Karen[at]netrootsnation.org. My donation is already boxed up and ready to go. And this time I remembered air holes.
Your west coast-friendly edition of Cheers and Jeers, um, has no fold to start under... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]