As we age, a funny thing happens on our journey -- we regress to our youth, and that's not all bad.
As I look back over the pattern of my life, I have just now come to the realization that…I am a kid again! Now, at the age of 80, I see life as a kind of bell shaped curve. Born… youngster…teen…mature…middle aged (top of the curve)…senior…and then back down the curve to teen again (I’ll call it the “regression phenomena”). Let me explain.
When I was a youngster and teen, life was simple. Minimal worries about money (probably just some loose change in your pocket). Plenty of time on our hands, and very little structure. Just like now. Summers were endless. You could sleep in. Just as we can do now. A kid again. Then with not much to do, off to schmooze (“shoot the bull”) with my other pals who also had too much time on their hands. If you do not think the seniors like us have too much time on their hands, just roam around a senior community and you will see elderly residents rearranging the rocks in their yard.
However, the schmoozing is a bit different today. Then we talked about batting averages, sports heroes or maybe bitching about teachers. Later, the subject usually turned to girls (with apocryphal stories of which ones “put out”). Today? Well, first a caution, never start a conversation with “how are you feeling?” Better have a good half hour for the answer, and it helps to have a Medical Dictionary handy.
Speaking of girls, in the teen years most guys at one time or another had a “girl friend.” Well, I did, and I have one now too -- although I have been chastised that at my age the term “girl friend” is socially improper. “Lady friend” or maybe "significant other" is more acceptable? Not for me. I have a girl friend, and a pretty sexy one to boot. That’s just the way I want it because in my mind, am a kid again!
Which brings me to the subject of what activity we might have done next? Well, for me, I usually got on my bike and rode down to the baseball field at the school, and there after some waiting, we got together a pickup game of softball. So, what do us as seniors have now? Guys get on their bikes and ride to the ball field. Sure, more organized, but no different really than when they were kids. Same game, same rules, same activity, but a little slower on the bases, and that’s about it.
As for the bikes, I had a beauty as a kid; and I have one now. Nice way to get around and good exercise as well. But my girl friend wanted something a bit different. She wanted a tricycle (so she may be a bit farther down the “regression phenomena” than me)? At any rate, that’s what she got for Christmas this year. She wanted a Schwinn, but I told here I was able to get a cheap knockoff of the Schwinn called a Schwine (just one letter difference for lots less money, and told her she would love riding on a Schwine), but she didn’t buy that story – so she really did get a Schwinn.
Now, if baseball in your “regression phenomena” is not your shtick, golf might be. And it is for me. When I was young, I was fortunate that my parents belonged to a Country Club. So, I and friends would take a bus to the club at our leisure and play a quick 18 holes, charge a burger and giant Black Cow soda to the parents, and bum a ride home with one of the members who might live near us. Not much different than today. Golf here in the Palm Springs area is available and affordable, so I play whenever I choose to. Except for substituting a beer for the Black Cow, I am a kid again.
Anyway, back to life in the day when we were kids. TV was just starting in my youth, but arriving home without a care in the world, I looked forward to having someone prepare a nice meal for me, and catching a little TV. Life was easy, life was good! Mom was a great cook and always had something wonderful for dinner – as does my girl friend now. Just like when I was a kid. Then to the TV; and today my favorites are still the oldies. TVLand is always fun, but Turner Classic Movies (TCM) is even better. And that is my channel of choice. “Here’s looking at you kid.” Trite but true, they don’t make them like they used to. But that is not my larger concern.
If, my theory is correct, and as we age we then begin a “regression phenomena”, at my current age, I seem to be in the teen/youngster region. Having said that, if I continue to slide down the curve as I get older, I will next be …?
Well, I will worry about that if and when it happens. As for now: I am just happy to be a kid again.