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You can get further by crawling in the right direction than by sprinting nowhere special. Whatever, you're gonna look nuts doing either.

The answer is likely "no, you have a sedentary job, drink too much and hate your life," but go ahead, ask your doctor if you have "low T."

The old sayings are sometimes best. That's why I say yes, FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS right into grinding poverty and self-loathing.

Today's Affirmation: "AAAAAAAAGGGHHHHGRBLFUCKSHITDAMNgrumblegrumble..." Say aloud in public spaces. Namaste


In a laboratory under Area 51, the greatest scientists gather to create mankind’s most important machine: The Back to the Future hoverboard.

I like how the Planters peanut wears a monocle. Like some wizard was all “I can bring peanuts to life but nearsightedness is beyond me”

travels back in time
“What’s the future like?”
There’s a black President and white girls have destroyed acronyms.

“Why did he find me guilty?”
Lawyer: You kept calling him Thor.
“He had a hammer”
Lawyer: Mallet
“Don’t let Thor hear you say that”

So psyched to start complaining about how hot it is.



I'm too fragile to hear what you really think. Say something pretty instead.

20%8 votes
15%6 votes
28%11 votes
35%14 votes

| 39 votes | Vote | Results

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