From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
From now on, any time I see one of those obnoxiously gauzy Big Pharma, Big Oil, Big Frack, Big Ag, Big Insurance, Big Auto or Big SuperPac ads, I'll hit the mute button as usual, but then I'll imagine this is what the announcer is saying (note---contains one doody word):
And then, as usual, I'll make a note to not buy what they're sellin'.
(Hat tip to Joe.My.God.)
Your west coast-friendly edition of Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Friday, March 28, 2014
Note: Due to a forseen accident involving a sweater, a blender and a Kardashian, there will be no C&J on Monday. Back Tuesday to defer all questions about the incident to my lawyer.-
Days 'til "Play ball!": 3
Days 'til Hancock Shaker Village's opening day with baby animals in Pittsfield, Massachusetts: 15
Number of big banks, including Citigroup, now prevented from increasing dividends or buying back stock because they failed their annual "stress test" for weathering a severe recdession: 5
(Source: Federal Reserve)
Average number of jobs adults born in the early 1980s held from age 18-26: 6
(Source: Bureau of Labor Statistics)
Number of U.S. companies informed by the federal government last year that their computer systems had been hacked: 3,000
(Source: The White House)
Cost to buy a cupcake from a Cupcake ATM on the streets of New York: $4.25
Time it would take to listen to all of the Beatles singles and albums released between 1962 and 1970: 10 hrs., 33 mins.
(Source: The internet)
NEW! Michele Bachmann Departure Countdown
Michele Bachmann and her googly eyes leave Congress in 281 days. Please adjust your life schedules accordingly.
Puppy Pic of the Day: New arrival
CHEERS to a helluva good start. The deadline for the historic first round of Affordable Care Act health insurance sign-ups is Monday, and as clichéd as it is to say this, future generations are going to look back at 2014 and say, "That was the year BHO's signature program changed everything on the health care front." And even the traditional media is a little exuberant:
More than 6 million people have signed up for health insurance on the new exchanges, a number that signals a tremendous last-minute surge, the White House said Thursday. President Barack Obama told volunteers and navigators helping sign people up that 1.5 million people visited HealthCare.gov on Wednesday---the highest-traffic day yet. Officials have said they logged more than a million visits each day so far this week.Now, about that "death panel" of pundits that's already started reading the last rites for Democrats in November: I think I want a second opinion on that. I'm detecting a pulse.
"Yesterday alone, we had 1.5 million visits to HealthCare.gov and took more than 430,000 calls at our 24/7 call center," said Marilyn Tavenner, head of the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services, which operated the website.
CHEERS to pretty pictures. Check out this graph showing the cost of ACA premiums going down as more young people sign up:
Commence Republicans ignoring this graph in 5...4...3now.
JEERS to both sides of John McCain's yap. I don’t know why I bother pointing out the fact that Republicans will flip-flop before the sound of the original flip has left their lips. Yes I do---it's FUN! Here's John McCain before President Obama helped throw Russia out of the G-8:
"Obviously, I would look at other areas. You know, throw them out of the G-8, of course. It should be the G-7.”And here's John McCain after Obama helped throw Russia out of the G-8:
Ha ha ha ha ha ha he's not president.“I’m sure that that has got to reduce Vladimir to tears…that he’s not going to be able to be in the G-8. Take over part of a country and you don’t get to go to the next meeting in some wonderful European capitol.”
CHEERS to the Ikey we likey. We're surprised that Dwight Eisenhower hasn't been branded a traitor yet by the right-wingers because he had the audacity to expand Social Security and raise the minimum wage. His crap crapped bigger ones than the current crop of GOPretenders, but his heart finally gave out and he died on this date in 1969. Pay your respects here. These days a good Republican is damn near impossible to find.
JEERS to PR stuck in first gear. I'm as happy as anyone to see General Motors back from the dead and with its first woman CEO at the helm, no less. And when I read that Mary Barra was leaping to action to "reach out to consumers" over a faulty ignition-switch problem affecting nearly two million cars that had been covered up for a decade and resulted in a dozen deaths, I was expecting a bit more than this:
GM posted five videos of Barra on its website Wednesday answering questions about the recall of 1.6 million compact cars to fix the ignition switches. The company also said Barra listened in on customer calls for about a half hour last Thursday at the automaker's suburban Detroit call center, although none of the callers spoke about the recall.Although, in fairness, she does plan to expand her customer outreach by renting a Sopwith Camel this weekend and skywriting DON'T DANGLE ANYTHING FROM YOUR KEY RING BUT YOUR CAR KEY KTHXBAI. Plus, of course, a smiley face for the kids.
CHEERS to the United States Senate. Wow...they finally stood up and nailed the President for overstepping his authority, and he was pissed. Sure, the move is a symbolic "slap on the wrist," but he needed it. So mark this date in your history books: March 28, 1834. The day Andrew Jackson got his old hickory ass censured, baby! Maybe we can do it again some day soon for old time's sake. Bend over, Senator Cruz.
Meet the Press: Dunno. Their web updaters must be out in the parking lot passing around a doobie. Pisses me off. I'm never invited to join 'em.Happy snoozing!
This Week: Lazy, lazy booking with yawn-worthy roundtable featuring Donna Brazile, Matt Dowd, Bill Kristol and David Plouffe; but at least Keith Olbermann shows up to talk about…oh, just sports. [sigh]Sunday on 'This Week':
Face the Nation: Creepy Gen. Michael Hayden; former CIA deputy director Michael Morrell; NCAA president Mark Emmert on the NLRB ruling that Northwestern football players are employees of the University and thus eligible for unionizing; roundtable with Gwen Ifill, Carolyn Ryan (NYT), David Ignatius (WaPo) and David Gergen.
CNN's State of the Union: Dunno. Their web updaters must be out in the parking lot with the Meet the Press web updaters.
Fox GOP Talking Points Sunday: This week it's Chris Wallace's turn to babysit retiring Rep. Mike Rogers (R-MI) while Kristi goes shopping; Sens. Patrick leahy (D-VT) and John Barasso (R-WY); roundtable with world's worth mathematician Karl Rove, Kimberly Strassel, Ron Fournier and Charles Lane.
Ten years ago in C&J: March 28, 2004
JEERS to Bush humor. Knee-slapper at Radio & Television Correspondents Association dinner: "Those Weapons of Mass destruction have got to be somewhere." Bet that's just crackin' `em up at Dover AFB.
JEERS to Homeland "Security." After blowing the dust---cough, cough---off the Osamamometer®, I see that the terror alert is STILL at pee-stain yellow. Does Tom Ridge know this thing still exists? [3/28/14 Update: The answer, of course, was yes. But only when his boss told him to raise it for truly horrifying threats…like Democrats winning an election.]
And just one more…
CHEERS to embracing the dark side. Don’t forget to turn off your lights (yes, including your lava lamp) tomorrow night at 8:30 and join the world in going dark for Earth Hour:
earth: turn that light out!
Earth Hour is a worldwide grassroots movement uniting people to protect the planet, and is organised by WWF. Engaging a massive mainstream community on a broad range of environmental issues, … The first Earth Hour event was on March 31 2007. WWF-Australia inspired Sydney-siders to show their support for climate change action. More than 2.2 million individuals and 2,000 businesses turned their lights out for one hour in the first Earth Hour event.Give it a try! You'll save a little juice, save a little scratch, join the rest of the planet in a good cause, and as a special bonus you'll experience what happens inside a Republican's head when someone asks them to come up with a good idea.
Earth Hour 2013 took place in more than 7001 cities and towns in 154 countries and territories across all seven continents. Hundreds of millions of people switched their lights off for an hour, and the campaign experienced its biggest growth since 2009. There were around 3,395 landmarks that participated.
Go ahead…stretch out on the couch and don't move for 48 hours. Have a great weekend! Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?