Skip to main content

We have learned from John Roberts and the conservative members of the Supreme Court that money and speech are interchangeable.  They are the same thing.

And further, any amount of money, even unlimited amounts of money, do not corrupt.

Therefore, it's only logical that jurors will now be able to "voice" their votes with money.

How would this work? Well, it's very straightforward.  Lawyers conducting voir dire will ask each prospective juror how much cash they've got on them.  How much cash are you willing to pay to the court to get your way on the jury?

And if they don't have cash, conveniently the court will now accept checks and credit cards.  So they'll be some questions during voir dire on credit limits for your various credit cards.

So if you're a bigot and you'd like to see a black defendant go to jail, innocent or guilty, all you need to do is win the "justice auction" on the jury.  Each dollar equals a vote.  The more dollars you kick in, the more votes you have.  

In fact, during deliberations you can also give money to fellow jurors to persuade them to the correctness of your own conclusion. Passing money is just like talking! And money doesn't corrupt, it's just more "information" for your fellow jurors!  It's really nothing more than putting an exclamation point on your argument.

This is truly a justice system revolution for which we can thank John Roberts.  Who knew we'd been doing it wrong all along by excluding money -- oops I mean "speech" --- from the justice system?

Too bad if you don't have any extra money on jury service day!  But don't fret.  John Roberts tells you that, no matter the obvious real world result, the important thing is you have the right to buy the system just like a rich person does.  Can't argue with that!

EMAIL TO A FRIEND X
Your Email has been sent.
You must add at least one tag to this diary before publishing it.

Add keywords that describe this diary. Separate multiple keywords with commas.
Tagging tips - Search For Tags - Browse For Tags

?

More Tagging tips:

A tag is a way to search for this diary. If someone is searching for "Barack Obama," is this a diary they'd be trying to find?

Use a person's full name, without any title. Senator Obama may become President Obama, and Michelle Obama might run for office.

If your diary covers an election or elected official, use election tags, which are generally the state abbreviation followed by the office. CA-01 is the first district House seat. CA-Sen covers both senate races. NY-GOV covers the New York governor's race.

Tags do not compound: that is, "education reform" is a completely different tag from "education". A tag like "reform" alone is probably not meaningful.

Consider if one or more of these tags fits your diary: Civil Rights, Community, Congress, Culture, Economy, Education, Elections, Energy, Environment, Health Care, International, Labor, Law, Media, Meta, National Security, Science, Transportation, or White House. If your diary is specific to a state, consider adding the state (California, Texas, etc). Keep in mind, though, that there are many wonderful and important diaries that don't fit in any of these tags. Don't worry if yours doesn't.

You can add a private note to this diary when hotlisting it:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary from your hotlist?
Are you sure you want to remove your recommendation? You can only recommend a diary once, so you will not be able to re-recommend it afterwards.
Rescue this diary, and add a note:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary from Rescue?
Choose where to republish this diary. The diary will be added to the queue for that group. Publish it from the queue to make it appear.

You must be a member of a group to use this feature.

Add a quick update to your diary without changing the diary itself:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary?
(The diary will be removed from the site and returned to your drafts for further editing.)
(The diary will be removed.)
Are you sure you want to save these changes to the published diary?

Comment Preferences

Subscribe or Donate to support Daily Kos.

Click here for the mobile view of the site