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Just when you thought that the fundamentalist God-botherers couldn't scrape any deeper in the crazy-barrel, along comes disgraced ex-Navy chaplain, Dr. Gordon Klingenschmitt. According to the not-at-all-deranged and totally sane chaplain:

...a shooting at a FedEx facility in Georgia earlier this month could have been avoided if the company had not violated biblical teachings by making the area a gun-free zone.
'Biblical teachings'? What Bible has the good doctor been reading? The totally balanced and rational chaplain went on to say:
“The only time the Bible talks about disarming the population were when the people were vulnerable to invasion!” the former Navy chaplain explained. “That’s why the Founding Fathers gave us the Second Amendment, because they recognized that the people ought to be safe and secure from invasion.”

“At least from without,” he opined. “That’s why Japan never invaded California because the Californians carried guns. But not anymore. They might be vulnerable to that."

Which would explain why the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor: because there were no guns on Hawaii.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that (in addition to being dumber than a sack full of rocks) Dr.Klingenschmitt is a fan of Louis Gohmert. Call it a hunch.

Originally posted to Retroactive Genius on Mon May 12, 2014 at 03:27 PM PDT.

Also republished by Street Prophets , Repeal or Amend the Second Amendment (RASA), and Shut Down the NRA.

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Comment Preferences

  •  Hey (10+ / 0-)

    There could even be Nazi subs around here who were never told the war was over.  One of the few really old guys left just sneaks out to pick up stuff at Costco once a month.

    Best Scientist Ever Predicts Bacon Will Be Element 119 On The Periodic Table

    by dov12348 on Mon May 12, 2014 at 03:33:26 PM PDT

  •  Guy is a Kubrick character, I swear (13+ / 0-)

    He is a few sparking neurons shy of shitting in his own hand.

    Almost everything you do will seem insignificant, but it is most important that you do it.

    by The Termite on Mon May 12, 2014 at 03:34:11 PM PDT

  •  all he forgot the mention is that FDR so trusted (13+ / 0-)

    the safety of the West Coast as defended by these gunowners that he felt no reason to round up and hold thousands of people of Japanese descent in camps.
    Chaplin "Chap" is almost comical as the CTs reach the stratosphere. (I could not choose just one string of stupid comments by this guy; every time I think he has finally reached the apex of stupid, I find an even more inchoate statement)

    However this is about par for the course if you are looking for intellectuals among the radical Christian Right, like this guy:  

    •  I'll be interested to see what happens... (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:

      With the Virginia guy....Roanoke is fairly red but not that crazy red.

      •  well he is on a collision course with the (1+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:

        Constitution and an appearance by his attorneys at SCOTUS as he has signaled his willingness to go to trial over this (on taxpayers' dime)  All of these super Christians are all too willing to be dragged in front of a judge so long as it is on someone else's dime

        •  On a dime (0+ / 0-)

          And I suppose taking every ones money to pay for welfare for those that come here illegally... those that live off the dole because they Medicare to people who are not citizens....Yeah I suppose that is okay. Isn't it.  I suppose you will defend that some how and justify it.

           It's a matter of perception....Like guns.  More people die from drunk drivers than guns ever kill in this country... Going to take our cars?

          So the cause is what.?. Tax payer  dollars paying for a trial.  All of the Super Liberals especially the rich want clean air... Ah yup... But they own jets & gas guzzling Bentleys.  Yet they rant how Americans are wasteful and need to be guided and if a Compant is even remotely close to a perceived no no line ...a liberal is taking it to court.  On YOUR DIME...Please.

          •  Bizarre response; I take it you dislike immigrants (0+ / 0-)

            OK explain to me how undocumented workers are drawing welfare (also please identify the programs you are referencing).  Also explain to me how an undocumented worker would qualify for Medicare.  I am really interested as it seems most undocumented workers never draw a penny from public programs and end up abandoning funds they did pay in

            Here is information on undocumented workers and Medicare

            That only leaves me one question: Erick is that you?

            •  On your Dime. (0+ / 0-)

              U.S. Census:

              Surprise, surprise; Census Bureau  Most U.S. families headed by illegal immigrants use taxpayer-funded welfare programs on behalf of their American-born anchor babies.  Immigrant households with children use welfare programs at consistently higher rates than natives, according to the census data collected
              Basically, the majority of households across the country benefitting from publicly-funded welfare programs are headed by immigrants, both legal and illegal. States where immigrant households with children have the highest welfare use rates are Arizona (62%), Texas, California and New York with 61% each and Pennsylvania(59%).The study focused on eight major welfare programs that cost the government $517 billion the year they were examined. They include Supplemental Security Income (SSI) for the disabled, Temporary Assistance to Needy Families (TANF), a nutritional program known as Women, Infants and Children (WIC), food stamps, free/reduced school lunch, public housing and health insurance for the poor (Medicaid).Food assistance and Medicaid are the programs most commonly used by illegal immigrants, mainly on behalf of their American-born children who get automatic citizenship. On the other hand, legal immigrant households take advantage of every available welfare program, according to the study, which attributes it to low education level and resulting low income. The highest rate of welfare recipients come from the Dominican Republic (82 %), Mexico and Guatemala (75%) and Ecuador (70%), according to the report.

              SO if you wanted specifics there it is. Taking advantage of the system via having babies. And we pay for it.  Thanks for bolstering my comment about those living on welfare.. U.S Citizens which prefer not to work.................. by avoiding that fact.

              •  since you just joined today, perhaps you wandered (0+ / 0-)

                in here by mistake.

                As far as your complaints about children born in the US being eligible for various government programs, I would point out to you that they are American citizens or were the last time I checked.  To be sure you have no objection to American citizens availing themselves of public resources funded by US taxpayers?

                However, you have piqued my curiosity.  Since you have such strenuous objection to the taxpayer's dime being spent, how much do you pay each year in federal taxes in relation to the number of services you receive and the value of said services?  I tend to find tax hypocrisy among those who complain the most about "welfare queens" to borrow Reagan's term

                •  My Dime (0+ / 0-)

                  This past tax season we paid just a tad over 14 K in Federal Income Tax.  The point?

                  Affordable Healthcare Act.  Raised my Insurance by nearly 2K a year....And we have less coverage.

                  As far as those children being American citizens. Yes they are however they are the product of uncontrolled immigration policies.  Their parents (most unwed) live of us via their U.S born Child and KNOW ALL TOO WELL how to rake the system.  Have a babie in the U.S!

                  Again...please spare me the availing myself of depriving American citizens..... As you well know half this country collects something from the Federal Government. I am not talking about retirement SS.. I am not speaking of Disability where it is due.  I am talking about the millions that rake it in and don't work.  I have worked since I was 13.  I am 56 now.  Yes I have an issue with anyone that lives off of my money. And so should you

                  Services: none

                  •  $14k, not too shabby but hardly places you in (0+ / 0-)

                    the 1%.  I can match your claims of work and probably successes though I have had my share of failures also and have no objection to sharing what largess this country has provided me with its opportunities.

                    At the same time I recognize that my success is not only my own but is also due to the structure of our society to reward certain sections regardless of merit.  As far as to who is the parasite in our society today, I present this morsel for thought from Jason Read:

                    After all you cannot exhort a man to pull himself up by his bootstraps when he is barefooted.

                    •  Your Dime. (0+ / 0-)

                      We have also had failures.  The most that I have ever had to depend on was un-employment yet.... my mission was not to live on it. We had bad times. We both worked at one point 5 jobs. Got off un-employment. It was and never would be satisfactory.  We suffered to succeed.  That does not mean that some one I don't know has the luxury of not being self sufficient.  You either have drive or you don't.  I will never subscribe to share the wealth.  We are charitable people.... but It's my money.  They want money... they want to survive?    Work... and work more until you can take a break. then work more....  Let me ask this.

                      What happens when us tax payers no longer can pay for those that don't pay?

                      What happens when that money runs out and it will.... History has proven that time and again.

                      What.. they will take our assets?  Homes they can pay for the takers?  Ponder that

                      •  you are stuck on RW talking points and I am (0+ / 0-)

                        afraid you will not fare well here.  I would suggest sticking around and picking up some of the information here.  Things are not as they appear to you.
                        However, many who come here with a certain POV cannot take the slings and arrows of those who have been here a decade or so.  I would suggest taking those hits and staying here.  It is well worth the trouble.

                        I have never taken UEI but I have dug ditches and repaired septic tanks and patched interstates and worked the line in a furniture plant.  I have taught and I have also served as CFO for my family's corporation which grossed $1M at its peak and I almost tripled the size of the family farm and I don't mind paying taxes because I recognize that I received government services in excess of the taxes I paid.

                        For example, take Medicaid.  Walmart and McD's pay their workers so little that they qualify for Medicaid and so relieve those 2 mega corporations of having to provide health insurance.  Would you cut the working poor from Medicaid?  Or maybe mothers for whom working makes no sense because private child care costs more than they would make on the minimum wage?

                        You say let them not have so many children but at the same time public school funds are cut and we tell them abstinence is the only birth control needed.  We are telling 13 year olds that birth control is immoral and then expect them to control themselves better than we do ourselves (check out the divorce rate; I don't think anyone has an adultery register)

                        So if you wish to do away with the government "giveaways" then stay here at Kos and learn the root causes of the symptoms you cite.  You cannot cure a disease by merely treating the symptoms; you have to cure the cause.  My wife was a community physician for 30 years and she would have told you that much.  So stay at Kos and enjoy the ride.  It is a rollercoaster  

                        •  My Dime (0+ / 0-)


                          You cited several points here.  Very well first I will address "Not fare well here"

                          My single comment to that is this.  It is evident that each Liberal/Progressive forum I have encountered has this genre'  ..  ..   I have always welcomed discussion and views at all levels.  Why is it such that as you say... I will not fare well here....Is an objective voice something you fear?  In the same voice you say stay as if to put fear in me to become challenged by your offer?

                          Schools and children... Correct they are pulling money from them. Now common core, a Governmental take over of American Education.  Since when is the Federal Government dictating educational standards when this has been the realm of the States.   Back in the day just about everyone could read and write... now you have fantasy plagues children being taught that Government is your Mom and it will care for you if you fail.  Yes common core is about stealthy take over of young minds.

                          When it comes to birth control perhaps its the last vestige of sanity trying to re-grasp the young. Attempting to convince them that it's immoral ...yet within that whole subject lay the giant thing that over powers their thoughts..... "Oh the Government says it's ok."  Really...It's ok to allow a 13 yo to get birth control without consent of parents but its not ok for a 13 yo to go on a school trip without their parents ok. Such a contradiction. By the way... the by example thing.. the Divorce rate? Well if we cannot manage our marriages then what the devil are we doing trying to mold young minds? Another contradiction.  

                          My position on all things has never been nor will it ever be partisan. The whole system is a failure.  Politicians run for the gravy train job and are not accountable for anything.

                          I could go on so let me close with this.  This Country is approaching a critical moment in History. May happen tomorrow... may not happen 5 years from now however it will happen.  It will be a Major shift in ideology.  The reality is that even if the progressive Liberal/Progressive mindset has made huge strides in their position there are many markers that will prove catastrophic for this agenda.... Post the last financial crisis have you noticed that Banks etc etc ie: wall Street ..those entities that this administration vowed not to sleep with have had record returns...Home equity which is the prominent cache of savings for Americans fell.. and has remained stagnant. This in un-precedented. The bailout insured Wall Street a guarantee ... Executives were not prosecuted 401s lost near half their values and the Banks get to borrow money at 0% and charge us 16-30%.  Do not misunderstand my position here.... I am not against Anyone making money but people and institutions must be accountable... as Recent History has provided us... They were exempt fro this.

                          This administration has fully embraced the Elite... giving them more power and ripping those same rights and protections from everyone else..

                          If we want to blame something or someone that would be in error.  We must blame ourselves for allowing it.  The world of Utopia and Nirvana will never exist.. it's a fantasy.

                          Yes... to somehow "repair" this failure of policy...will only happen one way. Shut it down and re-start.  Sounds immoral.. unethical.. even cruel because many will just fall off and become victims.. but they will become victims of their own doing.  There are survivors and losers in all life... Take a lesson from our wild friends.  They can live and survive on their own unless they become dependent upon a hand that feeds them... Once they become comfortable and demand we feed them..... the "State" views them as pests and if they cant re-locate them they will eliminate them.  But I wouldn't worry about shutting it all down. No one will have to make that choice.. it will happen on it's own

                          •  I repeat that you may not fare well here (0+ / 0-)

                            just as a warning as passionate people come here and sometimes passion overwhelms them.  Check out any Israeli/Palestinian thread or gun control thread and you will find passionate arguments and even extreme arguments such as an immediate ban on all handguns or deporting all Palestinians to Jordan or whatever (which are extreme positions)

                            I just invite you to hang around here as you will find a great deal of information and maybe find help in formulating your opinions.  I have altered various opinions over the years.

                            The only problem is that passionate people are frequently not polite people and you will learn to live with that quirk I hope.  Matter of fact, there is even a group here at Kos dedicated to promoting civility among posters.

                            I make a general observation about educational opportunity and public schools.  My grandfather did not finish the tenth grade.  He was an orphan and when he grew up, he was a sharecropper until he saved enough to buy his first farm.  His son went to college and got one year of education.  I went to college and finished undergrad and several grad degrees.  I believe literacy in increasing in this country; it is just in my grandfather's day, the 1890s, no one was measuring this

                            You will also note we may be entering a "post-literacy" age where information is no longer limited to print but there are many other venues that provide information that require little or no literacy  

                          •  Observation (0+ / 0-)

                            Passion is a far stretch from the reality of facts.  You mention politeness ...something I have always strived to be is polite for I desire to be treated as such.

                            You will also find I am not abrasive, I do not and never have fallen into the name calling mindset that I frequently encounter.  

                            And post literacy.  This is a sad thing. Being dependent upon electronic venues is hardly a road to success for those that are well read,  will dictate what the rest will believe.

                            The world is much smaller,  in fact ...a Bridge too Far doesn't exist anymore yet... That very fact is what causes a lot of dissent in this country.  Isolated snippets of things that happen get blown into infinite disproportional meaning and attention.  They become clouded with too much information given to everyone instead of them researching it.

                            You mention gun control.  Well this is a perfect example of disproportional information.  The media and POTUS and the left swarmed on this horrible thing.  However they wont talk about Chicago where as many people lose their lives every 2 weeks.  We wont talk about that, especially since they have the Strictest gun control policies and laws in the country.  Somehow though the powers that be convince half of America that somehow this is rampant across the States and that the Government needs more control

                            Of course. Americans live in a lie.  

                            Obviously educated or not you have a lifetime of wisdom and your words reflect that. You will easily find that my basis of all comment or opinion is based on common sense and wisdom....Not an agenda

                          •  P.S. Swarm (0+ / 0-)

                            I was referring to Sandy Hook

                          •  I think you will find these topics covered in (0+ / 0-)

                            the daily diaries by people who have more experience, education, or wisdom than I possess.
                            I hope you can find some truth in your sojourn here  

                          •  Sojourn (0+ / 0-)

                            I see.  the truth is you don't have any objectivity, you will refrain from interaction and in your words are merely an attempt to incite passionate reaction.

                            The reality, you don't want me here.  Not because you believe that my positions are not warranted, rather that they hold weight and progressive ideology doesn't want resistance.  I believe Hitler, Stalin, Mao Zedong, Idi Amin and so on all had that same position.  

                          •  Also. Your comment about immigrants (0+ / 0-)

                            That comment Sir was a left handed remark suggesting I am racist.... Let me educate you.

                            My family most... are all immigrants.  They came to this Country with what they had and WORKED. Worked to cut a piece of the American dream.

                            It was not given to them.  They were not looking for hand outs...Of course there were none.

                            I do not require clarification on what being an immigrant means.  What we have in this Country now insults those that came here legally.  Then and now.

                          •  It appears you feel you have been insulted (0+ / 0-)

                            when I merely undertook to let you know you were in for a rough ride.  Comparing me to Amin, Stalin, Hitler, and Mao flatters me.  I have not even invaded a neighboring county, let alone country (BTW you left out Pol Pot)

                            Also you are aware that immigration limits are a fairly modern invention.

                            Prior to 1900 or so there were no limits on immigrants except for Chinese and Japanese.  I think 1924 is the first legislation actually limiting European immigration, and that was aimed at Jews and Southern Europeans.

                            Your being here or not is your business.  It really doesn't necessarily concern me one way or the other.  Just giving you a heads-up.

                            However if I have insulted you, then I sincerely apologize.

                          •  Immigration (0+ / 0-)

                            Clarification.  Where did I compare you to those Dictators?  I referenced the general consensus of progress thought.  Not you

                            My ancestors came here beginning in early 1900s and continued thru 1955.

                            There still at that time was no federal assistance to illegals nor legal immigrants. They were on their own

                            Your apology accepted and I do have a request....referring to my comments, position or POV as you put it as right wing may suit most here yet the truth is I have one position.

                            I am a Constutionalist.  I have no partisan agenda as I have mentioned.....

                            If I could fire them all I would.

              •  Correction...Your Dime (0+ / 0-)

                You are correct.. I made an error.  It's not Medicare.  It's Medicaid.  

  •  1941 was actually a better film than most (6+ / 0-)


    “At least from without,” he opined. “That’s why Japan never invaded California because the Californians carried guns. But not anymore. They might be vulnerable to that."

    Warning - some snark may be above‽ (-9.50; -7.03)‽ eState4Column5©2013 "If we appear to seek the unattainable, then let it be known that we do so to avoid the unimaginable." (@eState4Column5)

    by annieli on Mon May 12, 2014 at 03:45:38 PM PDT

  •  Say 'FedEx' slowly backwards and it sounds like (7+ / 0-)

    'SATAN'!!    And THAT is why FASCIST Italy got the mail to arrive on time!

    "Trust me... I've been right before." ~ Tea party patriot

    by Calvino Partigiani on Mon May 12, 2014 at 03:56:33 PM PDT

  •  oh it could be that ... (4+ / 0-)

    it could be something else.

    but it's definitely not garbanzo beans.

    TRAILHEAD of accountability for Bush-2 Crimes? -- Addington's Perpwalk.

    by greenbird on Mon May 12, 2014 at 04:05:19 PM PDT

  •  Good grief! (4+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Ahianne, Glen The Plumber, anon004, kurt

    And he's a serious candidate for state office.

    Gordon “Dr. Chaps” Klingenschmitt announced that he was running for a seat in the Colorado state legislature and his campaign took a step forward last weekend when he dominated a Colorado GOP caucus,

    Doesn't this poor man have a family who can step in and protect him from himself?

    “Texas is a so-called red state, but you’ve got 10 million Democrats here in Texas. And …, there are a whole lot of people here in Texas who need us, and who need us to fight for them.” President Obama

    by Catte Nappe on Mon May 12, 2014 at 05:37:57 PM PDT

  •  And here I thought (9+ / 0-)

    the Japanese never invaded the west coast because the US Navy stopped them at Coral Sea and Midway.

    Shows how much I know.

    If the pilot's good, see, I mean if he's reeeally sharp, he can barrel that baby in so low... oh you oughta see it sometime. It's a sight. A big plane like a '52... varrrooom! Its jet exhaust... frying chickens in the barnyard!

    by Major Kong on Mon May 12, 2014 at 05:42:47 PM PDT

  •  Another religious person (9+ / 0-)

    Going on and on about what they think the Bible says about things.

    On another note, here's a Bunny eating rasberries.

    First they came for the farm workers, and I said nothing.

    by Hannibal on Mon May 12, 2014 at 05:57:21 PM PDT

  •  Great point! (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Glen The Plumber, avsp
    Which would explain why the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor: because there were no guns on Hawaii.
    But you have to realize that if the Hawaiians had assault rifles they could all point them at the Japanese airplanes and brought down the bad guys.

    A million Arcosantis.

    by Villabolo on Mon May 12, 2014 at 07:00:27 PM PDT

  •  Well that and the fact (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Glen The Plumber

    That even if they'd invaded Pearl and captured the Aleutians, they still didn't have enough fuel to actually mount an invasion of the west coast.  (the Pearl Harbor raid force was very much at the extreme range of their operations and took a hell of a lot of stockpiled fuel).

    It was physically impossible.  Had they captured Pearl AND the fuel supplies intact they could possibly have managed a raid or two on west coast shipyards but not much more.

    Whether or not Californians had guns was really not something anybody thought about, except for the homefront folks worried about saboteurs, 5th columnists, etc, who would presumably find the fact that Americans are heavily armed to be of concern.

  •  ? (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    winglion, avsp, kurt

    How could gun laws be 'unbiblical' as guns are never mentioned in the bible.  Not even once.  Unicorns, homicidal bears, a talking donkey, fire balls from the sky, giant monsters of all sorts - sure, all those things get mentioned at least once.  But guns?  Nope.

    Maybe he should be talking about, I dunno, anti-unicorn laws instead or something.  Would make more sense than the usual stuff he spouts.

  •  Sounds like he and Louie were separated at birth (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    Ted Cruz president? Pardon my Vietnamese, but Ngo Pho King Way.

    by ZedMont on Mon May 12, 2014 at 09:22:48 PM PDT

  •  California has a good set of gun laws (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    winglion, a2nite

    That's why I feel safer here than in gun nut states.

    Guns must be transported in locked boxes from your home to your shooting site.  A car trunk counts as a locked box; a glove box does not.

    So if you see someone carrying a gun in the open, feel free to call the cops.

    We still have the problem of neighbors who could get out their guns and accidentally fire them, going into your home and you.  But it's a start.

  •  dear Dr. Clingstoshit (0+ / 0-)

    do you talk to the "Founding Fathers" regularly?

  •  Japs Attack Pearl (0+ / 0-)

    The Japanese attacked from the air..They weren't concerned at that moment about guns per say.   It wasn't a ground assault.  Also... Admiral Isoroku Yamamoto who headed up that attack commented that his victory would be swift and he would in fact have victory after victory for months... commenting that "It will turn"  the United States would succeed.  As far as the gun thing...His position was stated in a stretched quote.  There would be a gun behind every blade of grass... That is in the U.S. As to the factual wording it is not known however... his position was that Japan could never invade the MAIN LAND U.S for it's people are well armed.  

  •  I misread "unbiblical" as "umbilical." (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    i saw an old tree today

    Didn't make any more sense that way.

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