After numerous warnings from practically every media outlet on the planet, including many, many articles on HuffingtonPost warning you that FaceBook will destroy your life/privacy/sex drive/ability to cook bacon properly/and whatever reproductive skill you might still enjoy if you are a member of their target demographic, Arianna Huffingtonpost, has decided to merge her once, luminous and THRIVING personage with the devil. And this time, it's not AOL, although that was a disturbing foreshadowing of things to come.
This time, it's with her previous arch-nemesis, FaceBook.
Now, you might argue that she has already made that soul killing deal with Satan once when she sold out all her liberal friends who kindly contributed their time, talent and writing for absolutely free, to AOL for her personal benefit to the tune of hundreds of millions of dollars, but you would be wrong.
Apparently, Ms. Huffington has that rare gift that grants her excess souls to Satan, much like a cat has nine lives. You can drop her off a high building, but she'll land on her feet with 6 or 7 souls to spare.
We now have documented proof of at least two of her souls burning in the fires of hell for all eternity, but wait! There's more.
Don't say you weren't warned.
Because you were.
Here are 11 reasons you should abandon Facebook in 2014, courtesy of HP.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/...
2. Facebook makes it impossible for you to stay "private."
Oh, that sounds really bad and it's only one of 11 reasons you should quit FB right now! Sage advice leading me to think that I should probably erase my FaceBook account immediately and I CERTAINLY wouldn't want it linked to anything I deemed private.
Thanks Arianna HuffingtonPost!! You are AWESOME!
And then there is the meta-data warning, which we've all become acutely aware of recently.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/...
Digital Shadow doesn't stop there. It breaks down when users are most active on Facebook and where in the world they're most likely to be found. It also provides a potential salary based on educational level and job title, as well as a breakdown of possible passwords that could be used to hack their accounts.
This is in reference to a new video game that accesses your FB page and demonstrably knows pretty much everything about you, like it or not.
OMG! Now you REALLY need to worry. In this HP exclusive, it is reported that contrary to what FaceBook wants you to believe, your entire LIFE is an open book if you use FB. Once again, we are all in TOTAL agreement. FaceBook is an evil, privacy stealing, free speech suppressing, dystopic virus just waiting to rob you of your freedom and privacy if you're dumb enough to use it.
Thanks Arianna HuffingtonPost!!
Here is the Huffington Post once again letting you know that if you use FB, you are probably a pathetic loser with no friends:
In a recent study, Yeslam Al-Saggaf and Sharon Nielsen of Charles Sturt University in Australia argued Facebook users who felt lonely were more likely to post personal information, like their relationship status and hobbies, than users who felt connected.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/...
So if you are a lonely loser who doesn't value your privacy and are just a schmuck waiting to be fleeced, Facebook is for YOU, at least according to the Huffington Post. All signs point to avoiding this malignant social tool at all costs.
Thanks Arianna HuffingtonPost!!
Except:
As many of you have noticed, we've been experimenting with the Facebook comments platform on many of our verticals over the past few weeks. On Monday, our entire U.S. site, including our mobile web and our mobile apps, will move exclusively to Facebook comments, allowing our readers to engage with content on the site and connect with other users outside of the native Huffington Post platform. This is far from an an end to conversation; it's the start of conversation where you want to have it -- and where you've been having it already. It's bringing the discussions and debates to the places where you engage with them the most and introducing so much of what makes the HuffPost community great to the broader Facebook audience.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/...
And sure enough, what do you know, HP has now merged their comment section with FaceBook. No more comment sections, just quotes and links to your FB page.
So I just had to write this diary to say:
Fuck you, Arianna Huffington and your articles about how aging actresses don't look like they did ten years ago and your misogynistic exclusive photos of Goldie Hawn without make up and your shameless hawking of your trite self-help book, Thrive and your fake liberalism that just happens to end up with you being a multi-millionaire.
Just fuck you.