"My name is David, and I'm here to save your beer."
Dude, why are you always being
so harsh on the Koch brothers? You act like they are selfish thugs trying to single-handedly swing an election with their enormous wallets when all they really want to do is help save your favorite craft brew. In
the words of one their strategists:
We actually did an experiment where we use technology on Twitter. We wanted to — overall we wanted to know what do young people care about? How do they form their communities online? And so we did a really intense analysis of their Twitter streams. We found out that craft breweries and craft beer were actually the largest cultural segment in North Carolina. So we set about to talk about craft breweries because it’s what they care about, so we care about it.
See? The largest cultural segment in North Carolina cares about craft brewing, so the Kochs care about craft brewing. Because they are totally awesome dudes. And if they shove a metric ton of petrochemicals down your throat while you're downing one of those craft brews in a desperate attempt to forget about the fact they just bought a company that
eliminated your job, well, then that's just a side benefit. For them, of course. But you'll still have your beer, which is good, because that's the only thing you really care about—or so they hope.