Just curious. The last couple of days here have been completely enlightening and I now feel safe to say that I am 100% terrified of police. Almost borderline phobia of them.
That is not to say that I hate the police or have never used their services. I will be the first to admit that I do call police when I see violence. I don't want to be one of the people who never called and someone ends up getting killed. I live right next to a bar, and there have been a few occasions where I was forced to call 911 and have police at the bar in a flash. I have also called cops on a couple of drunk drivers who almost smashed into my car. And, honestly, I have to say that my local police force at least seems competent and unbiased.
What terrifies me is not calling police, it is unwanted encounters with them. They are aggressive, mean, down right nasty sometimes. I am a person who does not like direct confrontation, I don't like being yelled at, I don't like guns or weapons. So when a cop pulls me over and swaggers his way over to my car, I am usually a bundle of nerves, dripping with sweat, and stammering like a crazy person. Of course, this doesn't help my case...at all.
In one memorable moment, my fiancee and I were driving our old beat up Olds Toronado at about 10:30pm to go buy some snacks at a local smoker friendly...about 5 minutes into our trip a Keizer, Oregon cop gets behind us, puts some distance between us and their car, as if they were checking my plates. I just paid my insurance, my tags are good, I've got my license, I thought, I am good. There will be no problems.
As we pull into the Smoker Friendly, and stop at a pump to get gas, the cop follows, gets out of his car and comes up to our window and says that our insurance cancelled and that he wanted proof of insurance. I whip out my insurance card, and OMG its expired by a day. He then tells us that he suspects us of driving without insurance, so I get on my esurance app and show him our digital ID cards, updated, of course, to show the new billing period. He still isn't satisfied -- in fact, there is now a marked escalation in his tone -- ie "I don't know what the fuck these are but if you don't prove to me you have insurance you will go to jail tonight" -- his exact words. At this point, my fiancee (who has been on the straight-and-narrow her entire life) starts bawling her eyes out. I am scrambling to call esurance to get a CSR on the phone to explain to this dick cop that we have insurance, and the whole time this ass is just staring at us like were fucking crack heads.
So I tell him "Look, we're not drug dealers, we're college students. We both go to Western, we were just out here to get snacks, cigs and gas". He was treating us like we were selling drugs to teenagers or something.
Finally, a CSR from esurance finally gets on the line and explains to this power tripping cop that we did indeed update our insurance earlier and that Esurance forgot to send something to DMV to update our records with them. Then the cop starts in on HER, being a complete and total arrogant fuckbag. They were on the phone for a couple minutes, after the convo the cop hands me back my phone and says "Okay, now I am gonna have to search your car"
Uh. Fuck no. Not after what you just put us through. Luckily, criminology and sociology of law are two concentrations of my degree, so I know my rights. I told him he had no probable cause and no warrant, and unless he had those two things he cannot search my car. He seemed a bit taken aback at the fact that I knew my rights...like he didn't know what to say. After a couple of seconds of flummoxing around he said "Alright, but if I catch you out here again tonight, you are off to jail". At this point, I didn't give a fuck what he was saying to me. I just wanted to escape 1) with my life, 2) without getting beat up/peppersprayed/tazered, and 3) without going to jail. I said alright officer and that was the end of it.
This incident sums up my fear of police perfectly. They, quite literally, hold your life in their hands. One move, and the meager existence I have built slowly and methodically over 10 years of being out on my own could go straight into the toilet. One wrong word and you could be eating pavement.
But that isn't even what scares me. What scares me is the type of people they hire on to the police force. I am perfectly okay with a police officer having the ability to be aggressive and take down criminals...but it seems like the type of person that police departments often hire are hair trigger, emotionally unstable, lack judgement and foresight and have a particularly violent and brutal streak. I could sense that in this guy -- not only was he judging us as criminals or deviants (young people out past 10:30pm, must be selling dope amirite?), but you could tell from this guys gaze that if we made ONE mistake -- got spooked, had a fight or flight reaction etc, that he would not hesitate to use force. He wouldn't try to de-escalate the situation, he wouldn't use calmed, reasoned judgement. He would use pure brute force. And it scares the day lights out of me.
Here is the kicker -- I am white. Had I been black that night, there is no doubt in my mind that he would have slammed me to the curb arrested me, had me booked and in jail that night. No doubt. That cop was bored and looking for "action", had I been a tad darker than "snow" I would have been this cops chew toy.
So, I ask this of you dkos...how many of you are scared of police? How many of you have had experiences like this one that have made you wary of police, terrified of them, even to the point of a phobia? I am sure you all have stories like mine. Ours may not seem that bad, but it made me extremely cautious around police, even when I know I am innocent. Nothing will stop me from calling police if I see violence or some other crime go down, but it has given me pause, if only for a moment, to ask myself "Is this really something I want to get myself tangled in?" And that is bad news for law enforcement. Once citizens start rethinking reporting crime, the bond of trust between community and the force that polices it is broken. I am not saying that it is like that here in Salem, but in communities all around the country (especially in communities of poverty and color) this is exactly what happens, because of little incidents like mine repeated millions of times a year in communities of poverty and color. Start treating the citizenry like they are criminals, don't be surprised the next time a crime is committed and no one says shit.
Edit: anyone remember this?
I will never understand this woman's fear entirely. After all, I have never had kids, and will never be black and/or female. I bring this up because that night I got a glimpse of what she felt. Not even a whole look, just a glimpse.