I'm feeling so blessed that I don't live in a place like Hong Kong where cops attack and tear gas peaceful protesters.
The worst thing is now I can't walk into the White House like a sit-com neighbor without knocking anymore.
The iPhone emoji keyboard has lots more female emojis than male ones.
So, I guess that settles the whole glass ceiling thing.
The CIA once spent $20 million to train a cat to spy on the Soviets, but it was hit by a car.
History repeats itself. History is elderly, probably has dementia. Be kind to history, and pretend not to be bored.
I read that the first wave of US missile strikes in Syria cost more than building and sending an orbiter to Mars. Yay mankind.
A survey of Fox News viewers has found that 82% of them think that Palestinians spend more on weapons than Israel.
It's ridiculous that weed is illegal while actually harmful shit like alcohol, tobacco and dubstep music aren't.
Don't worry about Ebola, or enterovirus, or ISIS. You could die from a sudden infection of Super Poisonous Ass Spiders tonight, so fuck it.
My cynicism began the day I learned that the Dukes of Hazard logo on my favorite t shirt was really just the Confederate flag.