The following is a shameless cribbing from part of an email I sent my good friend Ekaterin today after she emailed me to say hi following my Lunch Lady II diary from yesterday.
For this diary to make sense, you probably have to read the Lunch Lady II diary.
http://www.dailykos.com/...
The rest was just personal stuff between good friends - pootie talk, catchup, etc. It is always a pleasure to talk to such a wonderful person.
Just in case any of you were wondering what happened when I visited my parents today. :):):)
So I went over there today and told them I would be over every day for a few hours just to visit and help out. It's really not a burden for me, I literally don't have another thing to do, except get bored in my house, Rosie (lovely Rosebuddear the cat for those of you who don't know) is very self sufficient, as long as she gets a half hour or so of "me" time from me each day she's happy. She sleeps a lot haha, Miss Elderly and Slow.
My Dad isn't saying much (he never does) but I can just kind of see the weight coming off his shoulders - you can practically see his inward sigh of relief. I'm just thinking of it as going to a job every day, albeit a far less hard and more rewarding job than most.
I am a friggin genius. No, really haha. I was looking around for recipes last night, and I suddenly remembered something. I have this little blue diary-type book that my Mom gave me back in 1985 (1985!) for my birthday. It's dated July 27, 1985. In it she had written down a bunch of favorite family recipes - her Mom's five hour oven beef stew, Leone's Chili (this is from my Dad's sister in law, who used to cook for a resort up north - it's the blandest chili EVER, but these are Minnesotans. I made it to take to a pot luck one time and the feeding frenzy was insane), and some other recipes. She also wrote in there some of our favorite family funny stories from over the years. All in beautiful long-hand script. I consider that book an heirloom - it has been with me through half a dozen moves and almost 30 years. I took that book over with me this morning and showed them - "remember this"?. My Mom did - she and my Dad were fascinated, looking through it at all this stuff she wrote down so long ago. They both got very excited - "I remember that!". Looking at good stuff you've written oh so long ago is a thrill for anybody. I felt much the same when my Mom showed me some poetry I wrote as a teenager which she saved - some of which is still really cool, I think. There was one in particular which still cracks me up and I intend to make a copy of for posterity.
Anyways - I said maybe I should make some of this stuff, since we know everybody likes it. So my Dad, who was leaving to go pick up her prescription for the pain relieving gel at Target, said "ok give me a grocery list for one of them and I'll get stuff and you can make it tomorrow". Ok. So I picked the five hour beef stew (I had to explain to him that you can get beef stew meat already cut up at Cub, which is in the beef section and labelled "beef stew meat". He did not know that. I can see how trying to cook for the two of them must have been very difficult all this time, as clueless as he is in some aspects of domestic science haha. )
Then he says "we might already have some meat in the freezer downstairs". Well. Dad is just like his own father - he hates to waste anything and will never throw ANYTHING away, and will cook with spoiled food if you don't keep an eye on him. (I cleaned out their fridge today and threw out a ton of stuff - old mystery meat, mold riddled veggies, etc. - he grumbled some at the waste. I said to him "if either one of you gets food poisoning, it will kill you in your condition. A little waste is not a big deal."
He grumped a bit, but listened to me.) Anyways - he comes up with this big horrible freezer burned slab of meat, frost bitten and with ice crystals all over it and a horrid brown color, sitting unwrapped in the freezer for God knows how long. I looked at him and said "seriously? you would actually contemplate eating that?" He said "what? it's a little freezer burned, but you won't notice in a stew". I assured him you most definitely WOULD notice, and said if you're going to the trouble of making a nice meal, it doesn't have to be elaborate, but it's MOST important that everything is fresh. I made him throw it away. More grumbling haha. I said Dad having a basement freezer doesn't mean you should throw stuff in there and expect it to last five years. That way lies madness (also really bad meals and food poisoning haha).
Anyways. Mom's therapist at the rehab center called today for a followup and she told her about her awful weekend and how much pain she was in and what the new doctor said. The therapist got very upset, and said we'll give it a few days and see how this pain gel works, and if it doesn't give results, she wants to call and have a little CHAT with the doctor. I was inwardly cheering but outwardly remained very low key. There are still Dad's feelings to consider, since he has his MANLY PRIDE somewhat invested in this guy. I just told them I didn't think any of us should let our preconceived opinions interfere with treatment, and it's no skin off our noses if the professionals duke it out amongst themselves. Amazingly, this approach seems to work well with both of them.
I am learning how to be a caregiver and a diplomat all at the same time haha. And I think they need a low key approach. Between my Mom, my Dad, and my Mom's sister, they all just seem to reinforce each other's shrillness. I think I am a calming influence haha. So I am feeling pretty good about myself and things in general today.
I also did my Mom's hair for her. I am no hairdresser, but I curled it with her brush curling iron, and gave her a little style touchup for her visit to the PT person today. Another thing that I alone can do for her. I know she feels better when she looks nice. Dad bathes her and washes her hair and does it very well, but he would NOT know how to use a curling iron haha.
So tomorrow I will go over there, and he is going skeet shooting with my cousin. He loves to do that, and he has been worried about leaving her alone when he does it. So...........he will get a much needed break. I am glad I figured this out, just wish they would have told me sooner. But the whole family has a problem with actually asking for help, as so many families do.