From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
VOTE
The midterms are in nineteen days
In eye terms just a blink
The candidates are throwing mud
And some the kitchen sink
(Early, if you can.)
The TV set is filled with ads
From every super PAC
With fear and sleaze and bogus claims
It's enough to make you crack
The pollsters fight amongst themselves
Each day another feud
Sam says X and Nate says Y
While Wenzel screams "Unskewed!"
Yard signs pop up everywhere
Like weeds do every May
Vote YES! Vote NO! Vote for THIS GUY!
Okay! Okay! Okay!
November 4th get out and vote
Though it may seem like a bitch
The reason why in three ugly words:
Majority Leader Mitch.
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Thursday, October 16, 2014
Note: Today is Dictionary Day. Look it up.
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9 days!!!
By the Numbers:
Days 'til the
epic showdown between Mars and a comet:
3
Days 'til the
Collinsville Fall Festival in Illinois:
9
Number of Americans out of work for more than six months, 74 percent of whom receive no kind of unemployment assistance:
3 million
Percent of GDP taken up by the value of unemployment benefits:
0.25%
(Source:
The New York Times)
Number of U.S. jobs added over the last 55 months:
10.3 million
The last year job openings were as high as they are now:
2001
(Source: The White House)
Number of violations found recently at Bangladesh garment factories:
80,000
(Source:
Think Progress)
MLB Championship Playoffs
Kansas City wins the AL Series over Baltimore 4 games to 0
San Francisco Giants lead the St. Louis Cardinals 3 games to 1
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Your Thursday Molly Ivins Moment:
For me, the most annoying suggestion being made is that Democrats somehow need to claim or reclaim patriotism or to do something to let folks know that we, too, love our country. I find that hideously offensive. I have always thought the only way to respond to Republican statements and implications questioning the patriotism of non-Republicans is with a good swift blast of venomous anger. … The contemptible, petty, little would-be Joe McCarthys need to understand what love of country really means---love
of the highest and best in America.
---October, 2005
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Puppy Pic of the Day: No more wonky paws!
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CHEERS to Burke's Bounce. There will be no end to the joy our side feels if Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker---aka the Koch virus's Patient Zero---gets booted in 19 days by Mary Burke. And it looks like the Badgerheads in the Cheese State did not like what they saw at the last debate, because…
Go, Mary!
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Democrat Mary Burke is now tied with Walker 47%-47%. …
Walker has managed to blow a five-point lead in two weeks. His campaign is trending downwards. There aren’t enough billionaire Republican dollars out there to convince voters that Gov. Walker’s failed economic record deserves another four years. Walker’s biggest problem remains that he promised to create 250,000 jobs, and he is nowhere close to that number.
Good lord willing and the creek don’t rise, he'll be begging for one on November fifth.
JEERS to lily-livered snakes. Actually, I should probably say "Cheers" to Florida Governor Rick Scott's pettiness. Last night he refused to come on stage at the start of his televised debate with Charlie Crist. All because Crist had a small fan under his podium to keep his jewels cool in the 80+ degree heat. For my money it's this year's "Please proceed, governor" moment. You gotta see this:
If there isn’t some enterprising soul cranking out "Proud Member: Charlie Crist Fan Club bumper stickers by the thousands this morning, I weep for this country's entrepreneurial spirit.
JEERS to Operation Name That Operation. America can't have a war unless it puts an official brass name tag on it (source: Brass Name Tag Association), so that's what happened yesterday when our tussle with ISIS was dubbed Operation Inherent Resolve. It means innate strength. It means self-evident determination. But mostly it means this name was created by a committee.
CHEERS to sticking up for your friends…at the highest personal cost. There's a kerfuffle going on in Houston now regarding subpoenas of sermons by anti-gay church pastors making political speeches from the pulpit, which is a no-no. The right-wingers have erupted in fury, taking special aim at openly-lesbian Mayor Annise Parker. I had a friendly exchange with one of the bigots' staunch supporters, who works for the propaganda-catapulting Media Research Center:
He blocked me. I was sobbing inconsolably for milliseconds.
JEERS to stoking the fires of fear. Hey, America, lookey over here in Maine! We had an ebola scare, too! Yup, and thankfully the person tested negative for it, but not before our idiot tea party governor, Paul LePage, tested positive for cluelessness:
Gov. LePage: hostile
and unpredictable.
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What was needed most in this situation was for someone in a position of leadership to step up and address public concerns in a measured, information-driven way. Instead, Gov. LePage has inserted himself into the story, and done so in a way guaranteed to shed more heat than light. His thoughtless, shoot-from-the-hip approach is not what’s called for in a time when mass anxiety over disease can spread even more swiftly than the illness itself. […]
[Said LePage:] "We’re on top of this. The bigger issue right now is whether or not this individual had the proper papers.”
Unbelievably, the governor used a potential public health crisis to point fingers at Maine’s largely African refugee and immigrant population.
Nah. After the last four years, I totally believe it.
CHEERS to battling to a backbeat. Can't let today go by without looking back two years to the night Mitt Romney got pummeled by both President Obama and his own clumsy self. Who can forget "binders full of women," "Please proceed, Governor" and "Can you say that a little louder, Candy?" Enjoy what even George Will called "immeasurably the best debate in 50 years"…songified:
That was the moment when Republicans got up from their chairs, opened their windows, and quietly switched places with Democrats on building ledges across America. Somewhere overhead, a pigeon's bowels rumbled.
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Five years ago in C&J: October 16, 2009
CHEERS to woozles and weasels and wozzles...oh my! Portland is all "afuzz" (Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!!!) over the progress of our new International Cryptozoology Museum. When it opens November 1st, visitors will be able to view life-size mockups of creatures who are thought to exist, but which no one can seem to find solid evidence of. The main attractions: Bigfoot and the elusive New England Republican Congressman.
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And just one more…
JEERS to turnips. Yuck, I hate 'em. But having said that, I gotta give props to Michelle Obama for posting the most-talked-about Vine of the month, co-starring a humble Brassica rapa L, to promote healthy eating. I'll take mercy on you and post it without sound, but you can turn it on in the lower right-hand corner:
Memo to Bill Clinton: Michelle is going to be an act that you, as our next First Spouse, will not be able to follow. Don’t even try. You will fail. Just shuffle around passing out shiny dimes to the children and you'll be fine.
Have a nice Thursday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
"I'm not bought and paid for by Bill in Portland Maine."
---Mitch McConnell
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