Sometimes far-reaching wisdom can be found in the most unlikely of places. Today, that was on a muddy soccer field. Follow me below the dingledoodle squigglie dKosagnocchi dividerthingie fold after a word from our sponsor...
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K2's soccer team had a game today, against a very, very good team. He and his teammates didn't know what the coach did, that our team - the highest Division team our town fields - was playing a team the next Division up. Apparently the league towns conduct "alignment" games to figure out whether Town A's Division 1 team plays at the same level as Town B's D1 team, and Division 2, 3, etc. We must not have been quite at Divsion 1 level last year, because K2's team is in fact Division 2. This was an alignment game to help the league figure out where to "place" towns next year in the 'what's your highest-Division team' shuffle.
All this is by way of saying we lost 8-0. Our team hasn't lost that badly all year (or won by that much, either, so far it's been a fairly evenly-matched season which has made for GREAT soccer. Their goalie was incredibly talented, and K2 (one of our best players, and I say that not out of arrogance but because he is) was exhausted, having two hours earlier run a 5K in just over 23 minutes. However, even if he'd been in top form, they still would have won, just not by quite so much.
The boys were dejected, and so after the game ended the coach one by one took each boy aside to check in, encourage, and make sure each kid knew they'd made their coach proud. Eventually, the coach made it over to our sullen, exhausted, dejected son. He praised K2's skills, and told him to rest up because we have a make-up game tomorrow. The muttering and scuffing continued, and that's when Coach J insisted K2 look him in the eyes because he had something important to share.
"K2", he said, "I'm going to share a mantra with you. When you're older you'll change one of the words, but for now, here it is... There's SBMC in the world. Stuff Beyond My Control. And when that Stuff happens, you've got to do your best to let it go and not weigh you down. Shake it off, and move on."
SBMC. How many of us carry around the pressure, self-inflicted guilt, and weight of SBMC? I suspect every one of you reading tonight. The traffic jam no one could have foreseen that kept us from arriving somewhere in time, even though we left early, checked our Maps app and did our best. The coffee that spilled because someone backed into us. The game we were utterly not expected to win and yet fought valiantly in til the last whistle. I'm sure you have examples in your own lives.
Stuff Within Our Control? Sure, go ahead and dissect those actions, and figure out how either to change what's happening, or find a way to keep it from happening again. I think that then, when all's said and done... let that one go too. Carrying around the guilt of a thousand what-if's weighs a person down, and makes it harder to move forward.
K2 got in the car and muttered "tomorrow's team is a Division 2, so at least we have a chance." Both Mr. Brillig and I immediately said we do NOT want that type of self-defeatist talk in our car. Approach EACH game as if you have the power to win it. Don't let the past hold you back from future success.
Take the elections in two weeks - once the votes are in, we'll win some races, and yeah, we'll lose some too. Unless we're the Senior Campaign Director for a given candidate, I suspect nothing we did could ahve influenced how the campaign was run. As much as we'd like to, we can NOT choose how people vote. And so for me, once the elections are over they will become SBMC and my focus will (hopefully!) turn to the next two years, and not spending more time on post-mortems than necessary.
Are you someone who can keep Stuff Beyond Your Control at bay? Or is it harder than it sounds?
One of the things I can control is making sure we have our three Tops tonite!
Brillig's ObDisclaimer: The decision to publish each nomination lies with the evening's Diarist and/or Comment Formatter. My evenings at the helm, I try reeeeallllyy hard to publish everything without regard to content. I really do, even when I disagree personally with any given nomination. "TopCommentness" lies in the eyes of the nominator and of you, the reader - I leave the decision to you. I do not publish self-nominations (ie your own comments) and if I ruled the world, we'd all build community, supporting and uplifting instead of tearing our fellow Kossacks down.
From blugrlnrdst:
A top comment from MsTribble about the current ebola quarantine mania. From today's Abbreviated Pundit Roundup: Quarantine Controversy
From Tamar:
A wonderful comparison of the speed of change for gay rights vs rights for African Americans (and some about women's equality) from Ninalyn. From Jen Hayden's Houston mayor's daughter initially refused driver's license, because she has two moms
wishingwell flagged this comment by JML9999 in kos' nutpick-a-palooza. If they hadn't, I would have!
From Yours Truly, brillig:
I'm reading rbaillie's diary and all the comments about union-made candy when suddenly the author comments and has me thinking about pants. Worn pants!
Top Mojo for yesterday, October 24th, first comments and tip jars excluded. Thank you
mik for the mojo magic! For those of you interested in How Top Mojo Works, please see his diary
FAQing Top Mojo.
1) I recommend 2,000 hours of community... by Meteor Blades — 123
2) As a resident of the Seattle area can I say by ontheleftcoast — 118
3) Wisconsin Republicans, in addition by Remediator — 104
4) Yay, Man in the Cowboy Hat!! by Unduna — 103
5) Her social media page by Otteray Scribe — 97
6) "He tried RELOADING" - yes, capacity matters ... by We Shall Overcome — 89
7) During the 13 months I spent in a prison camp... by Meteor Blades — 87
8) What's the female version of douchebag? by hcarola — 86
9) Yeah, Thanks For Pointing That Out by Empower Ink — 84
10) OMG, what will Rush do? This will twist what by sajiocity — 82
11) petite, young female by grollen — 80
12) Good Lord by HillaryIsMyHomegirl — 76
13) Affluenza defense? n/t by Notreadytobenice — 71
14) I can only hope. by Giles Goat Boy — 69
15) Clearly, by Nebraska68847Dem — 67
16) If Michael Hayden claimed it was raining by PhilJD — 66
17) Kinda cool, by old mule — 64
18) Subject to Correction From Chemical-Americans, by Gooserock — 63
19) Asked why he did it he says by ExpatGirl — 62
20) watching kids walk out of school with.... by ca union goon — 61
21) Title ought to convey that the racist homophobe by inclusiveheart — 60
22) I speak fluent Southern by ExpatGirl — 59
23) I want to buy that guy a beer by Technowitch — 60
24) Lets chip in and get this man a car. by bioecon — 58
25) Wow. Makes it Seem Like the Shooter Wasn't by Gooserock — 56
26) Good move! by Nebraska68847Dem — 54
27) I was going to say by Rosalie907 — 54
28) Because the district is gerrymandered to be R+8 by GwenM — 54
29) What's truly mind-boggling, in terms of recent... by bobswern — 54
30) It is the same old story year in and year out... by nocynicism — 53
Top Pictures for yesterday, October 24th. Click any picture of a cat to be taken to the full comment. Thank you
jotter for the image magic!