Captain Peacock are you available?
Mrs. Slocombe: "You know, this sort of thing just isn't fair on my pussy. She has a go at the furniture if I'm not there prompt."
Mrs Slocombe: It's a wonder I'm here at all, you know. My pussy got soaking wet. I had to dry it out in front of the fire before I left!
Herr Flick: (explainig why the forger he employed is no longer available) He fell out of a Gestapo car, over a bridge, onto a railway line, and was run over by the Berlin Express. It was an accident.
Jeremy Lloyd, co-creator of BBC comedies 'Allo 'Allo! and Are You Being Served?, has died aged 84.
Lloyd died in hospital after being admitted for pneumonia, his agent said.
He worked with fellow comedy writer David Croft on the popular comedy series set in a department store, which ran from 1972-85.
His agent Alexandra Cann said: "Jeremy was a great wit and always a mass of original ideas.
"He had a wonderfully original mind and will be greatly missed."
Actress Vicki Michelle, who starred in 'Allo 'Allo! as sultry French waitress Yvette Carte-Blanche, said via Twitter that Lloyd was "such a wonderful talent, mentor and friend. A complete joy to work with."
Lloyd was married three times, including to the actress Joanna Lumley for a short period in 1970.
Once worked for a French firm that always seemed like an episode of 'allo 'allo.
[Captain Geering is putting the plan to kill General Von Klinkerhoffen into action]
Geering: The Colonel gave you a pill. Where is it?
René:I have the pill in the till.
Geering: Wheere is the vine for the General?
René: It is here in this jug.
Geering: The pill contains a drug.
René: The pill in the till?
Geering: Take it and put it in there.
René: Put the drug in the jug?
Gruber: (Comes in with the Gateau) We nearly forgot the most important thing.
René: (panic) Oh, my God! The Gateau from the Chateau!
Geering: What about the Gateau from the Chateau?
René: It contains a bomb!!!
Geering: A bomb in the Gateau from the Chateau???
René: It is to blow up the General! You must not let anyone light that fuse.
Geering: But where is the fuse?
René: It is the candle with the handle.
Geering: You do not need to kill the General, we have already arranged to kill the General... Do you not see? That if we kill him with the pill from the till by making with it the drug in the jug, you need not light the candle with the handle on the Gateau from the Chateau!
René: Simple plots are always the best.
[Herr Flick and Helga are in Herr Flick's secret headquarters]
Helga: You're looking pensive Herr Flick.
Herr Flick: I'm trying to decide what to do with you tonight. I might take you to the movies.
Helga: What is showing?
Herr Flick: Anything we want. Or we could stay here and amuse ourselves. I have a box of sharp needles somewhere. (Helga looks a little nervous) Ah, here they are.
Helga: What have you in mind Herr Flick?
Herr Flick: I have an excellent gramophone, and many records of Hitler's speeches. They are quite amusing.
Helga: (surprised) Hitler's speeches, quite amusing?
Herr Flick: Played at double speed, he sounds like Donald Duck.